Recently, I got to spend some time with an elderly lady who moves slower than molasses and doesn’t always remember details. Also, I got to help her bathe. And then? The memories came .,,
I remember taking a shower with my mom so that I could clean her body. She was sick with cancer and could not wash herself. I was young and too selfish and afraid to experience those memories as precious. Sadly, I chose to be her caregiver and not her daughter. And then, one day she was gone. Then I wished I had cared more about loving her and having time with her instead of just giving her care.
I cut off me hurting from losing her long before she was gone. Why? I was frightened of the pain.
Let me encourage you to stop and look the person you are caring for in the eye. Breathe in and breathe out. Listen to them breathe too. Then wait. Maybe God will give you a creative way to love them.
I used to frequent nursing homes because our oldest sister lived in one. She was bathed maybe twice a week if the staff was organized. Once I witnessed someone cleaning my sister. The lady was rough like sandpaper and moved so fast I barely saw the water get my sister wet. I cringed as I spied. After that I did what I could to ‘show up’ during bath time so that I could help them wash her myself. I even got to gently explain how they were the hands of kindness to a person who rarely got touched other than by her sisters. They had not considered that their bathing job was really a love job in disguise.
Listen, I just want to encourage you not to run so fast that you miss the one you are giving your care to. If your parents are elderly, enjoy every inconvenience. If you have a child who is challenged, love him or her as sincerely as you can. Remember you might be the only touch they get so be gentle and reassuring and above all, LOVE.
Until soon, Donna Reiners
Devastation comes. It seems people have turned against you. Maybe someone thinks you have turned against them. Maybe none of it is correct. Perhaps it is just misconstrued perspective or an opinion that is not in truth.
Emotions flare up. Bad news comes. Someone dies. Another one gets sick. Someone gets fired. Words are said that are harsh or critical.
What on earth do you do? Loving one another no matter what is critical. Life takes turns. Do not allow your heart to be callous towards anyone.
Much of my life I was verbally and non-verbally abused. I do not know many who have not experienced unhealthy relationships. This I know is your spouse is not perfect and your family is not perfect. Your friends are imperfect. Emotions rise up and words are said that are not always meant. How are you to respond? Will you write someone off because of something they say in the midst of overwhelming feelings? If you do not know someone’s heart, you will do just that.
When anger is high and vision is dim, let a soft answer turn away wrath. Love the person who is unlovely. If they are spewing out hatred at you it’s because they feel that way about themselves.
Give the benefit of the doubt. Think righteous thoughts about them. Love anyway. Even if they choose not to love you in return.
Change is a process. We want a silver bullet but it is all about the process. It’s called renewing the mind. It’s not a one time event. You don’t expose lies and vows and change into a different person like magic. You take bite after bite into the lies of who you have thought yourself to be and you let yourself make new decisions as you unfold who God says you have already BECOME. Be patient with you as you let yourself become the brand new you. Be kind to those around you in their process too.
You get to look change in the eye with courage and confidence and kindness and eventually realize your worldview has changed. You have gone through the process of thinking differently – toward yourself and those surrounding you – one decision at a time. Love-d
It is the day to cut away what keeps you from being the very best you that you can be. Complaining is the strongest avenue of derailing you. This is the year to cut away complaints. Join me in cutting away complaining about you and others. Check out this video for details On how to reform you.
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WATCH MY #CUTAWAYCOMPLAINTS VIDEO
Blessings and PEACE!!
Do you ever feel like the woman accused by the many? Unfaithful is what they said.
You feel the jabs from sticks intending to slice you to bits. Or perhaps you feel the weight of the stones meant to crush you?
Unaware yet aware.
Undone yet unfinished.
Or could it be you are you the one who carried a stick or threw a stone?
Maybe like me, you have been both?
You do what you can- you listen and wait.
Then, the fog clears. You now see.
Is it too late?
God forgives yet accusations fall like a weight. You know it’s too heavy but you can’t seem to shake-the barrage of guilt thrown your way.
You don’t know the wrong nor the words to say.
Face to face.
Day to day.
You are only responsible for your own actions. Me. Mine. I’m unable to remain under the heavy stain. Face your accuser and reach into the rain.
That being said,
Your time is here and it’s now…
Hello there. May you know you are loved. Be not dismayed nor discouraged nor disappointed. If you feel you are not good enough, or that you can’t seem to do things right for those around you or old wounds threaten to remind you of who you no longer are… be encouraged,
The cross is for the imperfect, the misunderstood, the criticized, the dishonored, the unloved and unlovely as well as those that seem to have it all together. We are all in process. So forgive quickly. Do not allow yourself to make fresh vows to protect you in the future. The very thing you want to avoid will end up showing up with a vengeance in your future and then you will start a drama cycle all over again.
Just love and forgive and treat one another with kindness. Remember your way of being kind may be different than someone else’s. I truly believe everyone is doing the best we can do. We all love different because we are all different. Take a deep breath. Then breathe again.
It’s ok. You are ok. You are important. You are significant. You are precious.
Honor is what love looks like and honor is learned over time. If you feel beaten up or run over, it could be the person in front of you feels the same way. Don’t take it personal. Just love. Love looks different on everyone and maybe you just don’t know how to love each other.