The Work of an Enemy
As a little girl I found out that no matter what I did to please my sister, it was never enough. It was my heart’s desire for her to love me. Inside my mind were the thoughts of the enemy saying to me how much my sister did not want me and how much I was unwanted by everyone in our family. All these were lies. I did whatever I could to get her attention and gain her acceptance. My heart desperately wanted to be with my sister. My thoughts lead me into wanting to be her tag-a-long, because I wanted her to accept and love me! Unfortunately, no matter how I attempted to show her how much I loved her, it never worked. The enemy had poisoned her mind toward me and without realizing it, she wanted nothing to do with me and so no matter what I did to “make her love me”, it was never enough. She was a victim and I was too.
Before I go on, I want to explain to you that her hate for me was an unseen enemy who planted and lived and desired to destroy not just me but her as well. Think about it. She believed she hated me and because she hated me, I believed lie number 1: I had no worth. And that just served to add to my growing belief about lie number 2: no one loved me. Now, listen, this was not a plot just against me – this was a plot against her. The hate she felt toward me was also how she felt about herself and it was not really how she felt….it was a system put in place by an enemy….if darkness can convince us we have no worth, then we will live as if we have none. This woman – my sister – overcame this darkness and she has tremendous worth and sees my worth and EVEN sees the worth of those who seem to hate her. WOW. What a turn around.
This mentality of believing I had no worth and that no one loved me ruled my life, until I dealt with it at the cross. This is the same cross my sister came to that changed her from a vessel of hatred to a vessel of love. However, because I was thirty when I actually committed to living my life in Him, that mindset of hatred was my safe place for the first thirty years of my life. Those feelings toward myself did not just magically leave my heart. Because of the graciousness of the Lord, the Holy Spirit enabled me to believe Him, and what He said in His Word, about others and myself, and slowly but surely my mind changed. As I grew in the Truth about myself, I also grew in the Truth about what He said about my family. The Lord gave me understanding on the whys and the hows regarding our childhood. I began to understand that though she had chosen those thoughts toward me, she was not my enemy. She too had been a victim of the enemy, just like I had been, and only needed a revelation of God’s love to turn her around. Somehow in my heart I just knew she would one day choose Him and receive His great and wonderful love for her, and that would dispel the awful hatred she had toward me. Slowly but surely I embraced his Word of Truth for me, and one of them was a key to learning how to love my sister even when she seemingly had hatred in her heart towards me.
2 Tim 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
God did not want me to be afraid! God does not want you afraid! After the Lord showed me this scripture, I had to begin to let go of fear, and I had to learn how to embrace courage! Can you embrace courage today? Can you become #Braver? Unfortunately, I had lived under the rule of fear for so long, that it was not an easy process. Fear was a best friend and it was very very difficult to embrace another attitude. But it was not impossible. I realized that fear was why my sister had not loved me! She too had been afraid of love, and she did not really truly know how to love because she had not experienced pure love either. The truth was that neither one of us knew how to love or be loved. Do you? Love and forgiveness go hand in hand. Can you forgive? Then you can love. Can you be forgiven? Then you can receive love. God gave me a picture of my sister’s heart one day, and I could see her desire to be loved, and I could see her loneliness and her fear of abandonment and all the other junk from OUR past. The Lord brought compassion for her. No longer did I take it personal when she seemed to shun or reject me, because I knew it truly had nothing to do with me! It wasn’t personal! This was an all out war for HER SOUL TOO that the enemy had begun in her very early in her life, and I just happened to be a victim of it, not the reason for it. We had both individually been a victim of hate.
Are you a victim of hate? You do not have to remain one.
Father, I pray you will come and reveal truth and let Your perception go deep within the one reading. Let your LOVE and YOUR sound mind and your power embrace this reader and let today be a new day to begin the process of freedom in Jesus name.
Send this to friends who would relate to being a victim of hate.
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Until next time,