Remember how, as a little girl, I idolized my sister just to find the enemy’s hatred? Because of hatred, I suffered abuse for a number of years. My mom chose not to protect me, and I felt I had nowhere to turn for safety. An ugly young child with a strange last name, I was ridiculed by everyone in my class, from 1st grade on up. Though I was an avid reader and a straight A student, I became a tattletale and a teacher’s pet, because I felt like I needed an adult’s approval. I felt rejected at school, as well as at home, and felt like I had no friends. My sisters were all brought up the same way – fear filled. So, what do you do when you feel as if no one likes you, and you feel like you are all alone? How is life when you live on an island in your mind? How to #BeBraver?
I felt like I had no choice but to turn to myself for friendship. On the inside of my heart, I built my own world where I was in control. In my world, I never got hurt. In my heart, I was safe and protected, living inside my dark little cave world where no one could find me. No one could tell me no. No one could tell me I was ugly. No one could tell me I was without worth. No one could reach me expect the enemy.
Deafened by the voices in my head, I couldn’t hear anyone tell me yes either. I couldn’t hear anyone say I was pretty, and I could not hear anyone say I had worth. The result was that I grew into a pretty young woman who, by appearance, looked confident and ready to conquer the world. Yet I was afraid of my own shadow because I never confronted my fears – I only ignored them. I lived only according to my own wisdom. But because I looked to myself for everything, I truly could “talk the talk,” but my walk never matched up. It was not until I gave my control over to Another that I began to LIVE for the very first time and learn how to #BeBraver.
Where are you in your world? Do you live alone bombarded by the voices in your head or are you free to beCOME all He intends?
Pray with me – Father, I have lived in fear long enough. I give myself over to You for such a time as this and ask You to take this weakness and turn it into my greatest strength in Jesus name. Let it be.
Send this to friends who need to #BeBraver.
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Until next time,