Hope says I trust God.
Hope is used some many times in a weak or timid way. Yet, hope is a strong word. Hope is a powerful word. Hope has great meaning. It is weighty. It is meaty. You can have hope – great confidence – expectancy – you CAN have trust when you can’t seem to trust yourself.
I have lived a long time now and see those years when I was so clueless (oh, I still have a few moments” and when I felt so insecure and had nothing to look forward to. Basically, I was wrapped in a swirl of false identity and had no trust for myself. I saw decisions I made – one after another fail until I felt like a complete failure of the biggest kind. Sadly, lived this way for a long time. I ran a very long time and at the time, I don’t think I knew I was running. I ran because I did not feel like I could trust myself.
Now, I get it – though I could not trust me – I could still trust God. Always, Hope says I trust God.
And now, I also get this other strong and deeper truth. Inside me was this God who I did not know lived within. I had no idea He loved me so much that He chose to live inside of my deepest failures, strongest anger or stormy nights.
I see now that I may not can always trust me – Hope says I trust God.