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Surgery Friday

Hello friend,
I’m having surgery Friday morning (at the time of this writing that is tomorrow). It is unexpected but is a step in my journey to getting oxygen to my brain. Oxygen to the brain can heal grey matter. Oxygen to the brain can seal up a blood brain barrier that is like a cyclone fence. Oxygen to the brain can help your hormones heal. Oxygen to the brain can help your brain sleep when it is time for REM.
Funny really … we don’t know how God is going to lead us until we move with Him. HIS leading to me is down a road I would not take with logic. But this last year when my body was shutting down and all my positive mantras and meditation pieces failed, you get to take action … with Him in other ways. We can be so convinced that the positivity tour is the only way – I have heard and soaked and understand. Then, we can lean into the voice of the Christ Who is the Way Who leads us into Life His way … HE loves for us to live. I believe HE loves to lead us through that inner voice…. and let me say that the Inner Voice is personal – its not a vibe – its not just a frequency. It’s the voice that breaks the cedars, causes mountains to melt like wax and gives you creative ideas that change society … or your family bloodline with a Word from Him that brings Life and Love to move cities into relationship with Him. It’s deep and its personal and its worth waiting for – its not always yes – it is sometimes no because what Father always just says yes to whatever a kid wants? Good Fathers have wisdom and timing and avenues for us to follow Him through…building our relationship and giving us Love along the way that causes our security in Him to be secure.

This surgery Friday has to do with sinuses and takes about an hour. If you are a praying person and not a preying person, I welcome thoughts of full recovery 🙂
Over the river and through the woods …this is the journey… sometimes into the desert and sometimes into an ocean but in Him and with Him, we are empowered to walk out our lives victoriously.
Will we sometimes be in pain? You betcha?
Will we sometimes feel clueless? Duh.
IS He faithful inside to lead and guide – oh yes..
So, bless you in your own river and your own woods and your own discovery tour in Christ to know Him.

Last thing… I was talking with someone today about His voice and His life and I discussed how God knows Who He is …that HE does not have an identity crisis and that if they…the person I was talking with did not believe in the Christ…that if they said something like this, “from my spirit alive in my Creator.” …that our God knew Who that was….and our Father would respond. Father is more than able to sync up with this friend and share His goodness and His love so that my friend knows how joined and all in HE has always been … 

Relationship friend.
Not religion.
We don’t have all the language perfect.
We don’t all have an academic theology in place.

Oh, but the #Christ? The One Who #dances with you from the inside – HE will never leave or forsake you..even on the bumpiest ride.
Until soon and much love…see you after #surgery Friday..
D

Being Real

What a day and being real. I definitely understand why people drink. Torment causes emotional distress. You know what else causes emotions to rise above the water level? Hormones.

I wonder if King David had hormone issues. That man had some strong ups and downs. If you did not know better you would think he wasn’t “saved.” Not unlike me or maybe even you?

Or are you the quiet one who keeps your emotions so silent that nobody would ever guess you are sad, distraught, depressed or just ticked off? Ya keep that smile in tact? Ya keep those positive messages rolling hoping they will touch your own nerve maybe?

Thankfully it’s not a blow up on you thing. Wait. I take that back. I did that the other day. Poor husband. Mercy on him. Mercy on me. And to the doctors we go my friend. Did I mention hormones?

Curiously I was the one in my forties who thought a simple change of mind, some positive oooohs and ahhhhs and a prayer or two would be the kiss that made all those booo boooos all better. Humbly I submit my heart to you if we have known one another the past 30 years … if I did that to you – my deepest repentant apologies.

Poor King David. He had some definite emotional issues. Paranoia. Fear. Run away. Shut down. Depression. Despair. … hey Davie I feel ya! Being Real.

Thankfully he was forgiven and so am I AND it’s not Fathers heart I sink in oblivion into nothingness and let life pass me by. I’m getting help. Yep. A doctor. #Medical. Ouch. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do …😍😍♥️♥️

A couple months ago God spoke to me through an encounter in my dream life. A friend was with me and she was talking about … can you guess?? Her hormone doctor … funny how Father tells us in Philippians 4 to not be torn in multiple directions but to focus and The answers will be made known to us through Christ Jesus … it doesn’t say over night … it gives no time frame friend. It’s a trust pathway … into the unknown to find the known …
Until soon friend. If you are privately feeling condemned because you feel clueless and can’t get breakthrough on some basic mental health issues … maybe you should think outside the box and get a holistic option … a medical evaluation … a homeopathic angle … or something in between … and in the mean time? … don’t be mean to yourself if you snap, rattle or roll but instead … lean in to hear solution before the stress takes it’s toll … Being Real.
Love-d

New Day – New Strategy

My husband told me last year that he really wanted me to start writing about my how my emotions were impacting my life and I realized I was in a new day and I needed a new strategy.
I thought he was crazy because I help others in their emotional demise and so why on earth would anyone be that transparent regarding a field others come to them for help with?
Also, last year, I had an encounter with a publisher who in my dream time, called me on the phone and invited me to publish a book. How on earth?
All these clues about writing yet reluctance became my friend instead of paying attention to what I’m hearing in my own two ears.
Over the past year and a half, I have had some physical changes which have caused me to question my sanity and sometimes my existence.
Yep. Been strange. But then, new day – new strategy.
It has taken me almost a year to break free of the fear of writing authentically about what I feel and experience … because I have not wanted anyone to think I’m crazy.
I’m finally in that place of I don’t care so here goes.

Today, I go in for a second brain scan to determine if I have had any positive changes since the last one. Oxygen has not been getting to my brain … for almost 20 years. What do I need? A new day – new strategy.

And I wondered why my body broke down?
And I wondered why my emotions hit a wall?
And I wondered why I felt I was going crazy?
And I wondered … well … you probably don’t want to know everything I wondered.
Since I do not believe in a dark night of the soul – suffice to say – I’m in a new place in my life regarding relationships (not many), faith (stronger), trust in society (less), loneliness (richer and stronger), family appreciation (stronger and deeper), fear of dying (still dealing with this one) and… the list goes on…
I realize that I’m simply having a season not unlike yours where you are finding out your weaknesses are your greatest strengths and how God wants you to mature in your weaknesses not shrivel up and die from them. Husbands. Help. Hormones.

So, that is what I’m confronting these days – my inability to just snap out of it and rock on like I used to … I’m literally having to stop. I’m having to slow. I’m having to be alone. I’m having to breath in and out with greater intention. I’m having to look at things like hormones and oxygen to the brain and cell life and water and… friendship with myself and humanity. I’m having to literally say no to just going out and be happy to remain at home with nothing but my paintbrush because anything more makes me want to cry. New Day – New Strategy.

Pretty confident I am not alone in the changes taking place. I’m almost positive you – my precious reader – have been undergoing strong changes and you are stepping into your greatest hour of discovering just what you too are made of.
Don’t give up.
Remember God looks at everything and is not as compartmentalized as we are and HE has solutions for things we think are hopeless and HE is more practical than we think He is as well… like…if you are cold…put a sweater on or use a blanket … if your car is out of gas – fill it up … like your physical body has issues so pray about this for 10 years with zero help and watch it fall apart because God is not healing you … WAIT… I mean… take some practical steps friends in determining what they hey and partner with Him for life and living…
In case nobody has told you lately – I love you.
Go look in the mirror and tell yourself you love you too..

Until soon and though you may not have a husband – and though you may not need help and though you may not have hormones making you crazy – you may have something else looming… Let Father show you and lead you into His love and kindness as you figure it out with Him. New Day – New Strategy.
Donna Reiners
Blogger, Friend, Emotional Support
Minister, LifeCoach,
Grace is the Way.

I hate Dribble

I hate dribble.
I’m not good at small talk.
You can be in my house with the lights on and wonder if I’m even home.
I’m also the friend who shares deep within five minutes of meeting you and you will either run the hell away from me or decide I’m the friend you have always wanted and stick around.
I experience most of the first option.
That’s okay. Authenticity is not common. I’m not common.
My friends are few.
I’m not popular.
I used to be super religious in my stance giving God no chance other than to do life my way.
Also, I made the mistake early on in my walk with God to give my life to building up the church and upholding what the pastor taught and again giving no leeway for God to live outside the church cause you know… God isn’t interested in you unless you’re a Christian.
Wow. I was clueless and limited my belief to my own wisdom instead of His.
I have changed.
My circle is small but my God is big and though God can dribble with the best of them …I still cannot..
Maybe you can do small talk and nobody knows your pain cause you keep that happy fake smile on your face …

So, though i hate dribble – I don’t hate you and I don’t want you to hate you either. So, how about this? You choose to NOT give up on you… cause I’m not gonna stop believing in you … ever.

Love, d

Don’t give up.

Deep Stuff

Deep stuff. I know a woman whose mind is not quite there. Somehow, someway though … she can worry. She can grab a hold of one subject and she can think about it and think about it and think about it until she can’t think about nothing else. Obsessing.

In this manner, she feels important. Why? It literally gives her something to do with her time other than read and watch TV. She’s an older person who doesn’t have anything to do. She used to be vibrant and participated in society and she used to feel meaningful and significant. Now she only feels old and decrepit. The other day she said she missed feeling productive. She missed feeling as if she mattered. Deep stuff.

It dawned on me that the reason she worries is because it gives her something that she feels is important to do. She misses accomplishing something that someone else praises her in or someone else needs done so that they can finish what they are doing… She misses working…fulfilling goals and wins. She worries about her family. She worries about America. She worries about money. The other day she was fixated on finding a book. She did not want to read these books out of order. It is a trilogy. She had already read number one but did not want to skip to number three. She wanted to read number two next. Because of her memory issues, you might want her to just read three and find two later – what does it really matter? Deep stuff.

But it matters to her. It’s her grasping onto a little bit of order- a sequence – similar to a child learning the numbering or lettering system – she’s remembering order. You teach a child one, two, three – not one, four, seven. She is enough with it in her mind sometimes that she remembers order and she remembers pieces of things that really do matter… At least to her. in that moment … Admittedly that ship may sail soon but right that second she felt “normal” and like she is accomplishing something that “matters”. Deep stuff.

I was thinking about children and how they feel safe when they know what is next…when they have order. They learn the “how to” set goals, accomplish vision, eat their vegetables, brush their teeth, sleep habit, reading habits – disciplines…early in life… setting the stage for how they grow and think.

Similarly, older ones who lived vibrant productive lives that have health issues sometimes find themselves doing nothing but watching tv, eating and reading. Their minds lose the ability of setting goals, accomplishing vision. They lose that part of themselves where found identity and usefulness. Deep stuff.

What is my point? Pay attention.

Pay attention to that person in front of you that seemingly has nothing to do. Because they might be doing something with your mind to help you see something through. Now I realize that worry is worship in a reversed kind of way. But I just wonder if God‘s graciousness and kindness sees it as prayer in his day. Again, deep stuff.

We can’t heal her mind though we would like to. We can only love her – We can’t change what has occurred. Loving that person who seems to have lost their way might be the most productive thing you do today.

So, I was pondering these things today about society as a whole…thinking of another friend who is in a similar way. Sitting. Waiting. Nothing to do. Nobody to talk to. Watching life pass her by. Grabbing hold of anything that makes her feel alive.

Growing older is not for wimps. But … Older people are just younger people with wrinkles.

In this Covid crisis aftermath, remember those who were locked away. Maybe that was you or me. Maybe you are still working out your life in isolation. Maybe nobody reaches into you because they are busy accomplishing their own life…

Inside – deep inside – listen close to Who resides. They can lead you with Grace to love that space. Deep Stuff.

Changing or Clinging?

It’s been a season among seasons but are we changing or clinging?

Learning to trust Them with our situations. Hearing Their voice. Doing our part in practical ways.

Serious situations arise where we have a need for someone else’s expertise. So, we go to the doctor for perspective and listen for His voice. We sell treasures for bills as we listen for His voice. We choose pathways of life as we listen and respond. We jump with trust and then we realize we may have jumped too soon or too far. We don’t jump at all and miss the ship that was sailing. Or did we? Are we changing or clinging?

We stand in the street and wonder if we will survive what we must face. In the midst of letting go of what once held such great value, we realize our own worth has shifted. We have less treasury but have more treasure. What we loved twenty years ago has emotional ties but no longer is the heartbeat of my daily life.

Yet, we keep holding on to that way of eating or that material object or that attitude to reinforce our fear of tomorrow… or to avoid facing our private pain … or to sabotage from self hate. Oh it’s subtle. But it’s delay into a new you. Is is because we are changing or clinging?

We realize how fortunate we are to share space with the person we sleep near and we hear His voice of Love. Our assignments can seem foreboding yet can we climb those thorns and find the comfort inside the sweet smelling rose? Can we truly unconditionally love that one near us? Can we love ourselves?

Are we changing? Or are we clinging to what used to be the road we walked?

It could be – after the dust has settled – we will find that what we thought was impossible to say goodbye to is the actual entry through a new door. It might be that the lessons we learn as we change will be beautiful and our hearts will be more tender and our love will flow more purely…as we say goodbye to the past and hello to the present. Oh that we will be changing not clinging.

This is a reprint from earlier this year. Love- Donna

The Sun’s Up

Have you ever NOT wanted to open your door, check your mail or go outside when the sun’s up?
Maybe your personal insides just want to stay in the dark and relish the pain you feel?
HEY! That’s not good for you and I’m here to take you from choosing dark to life.
Now, you know that even if it is a gray gloomy day outside that there is a sun shining up in that sky right?
It is time to take authority over your own atmosphere my friend.
Imagine if you will a full on sun that is shining inside through your walls and into your hall and piercing into your roof. Embrace it. Let it pierce into your soul.
Decide now, the Sun’s up and you can be up too.
Don’t give up my friend.
Don’t turn to the left or right looking for it all to end.
Instead, let the warmth of the sun call you into life.
Let the reality of your darkness bring forth the light.
The Sun’s up – grab hold – take a deep breath.
Breathe in and out and then do it again.
I love you – maybe you forgot and think you are alone.
But it is a lie – hear my kind tone.
You are important.
You are alive on purpose.
Be Braver my friend – the Sun’s up and you can be too..

The Sun’s Up

Inheritance

When we err, Jesus is our forgiveness. When we are erred against, Jesus is our forgiveness.

When we choose not to forgive, we err and place the Law as our owner.

Forgiveness is our inheritance.

Today, let your past and their past go.

Receive today.

Receive now.

Let LOVE be your Owner.

Lights On

Lights On.
I remember once I was listening to God. I saw myself run into His Person and it was all dark. But, I instantly knew the lights were supposed to be on and I snapped my fingers and yelled LIGHTS ON! Then, the darkness was gone. Lights came on and I was with the Christ and we were one!
Now, why on earth would Father take me through what seems to be a strange pathway to understand the reality of light?

Now, I believe it was the part about running inside of Him that I was supposed to really see. Also, I was supposed to truly capture His authority inside me. Snapping my fingers in that place was not arrogant – it was God showing me that light is who HE already is and it was my own lack of belief that caused me to see dark instead of light.
WHOAH. I got it. Lights on.
I AM light and HE is light and together – the lights are always on regardless of how I see or feel – Lights On is what is real.

Join me for emotional transformation

LIGHT Your Own Storm

My friend, inside each of us we must face the Truth and BE LIGHT in our own storm instead of continually looking for a light to help us through the storm.

But it takes great intention to decide you have the goods to pass through this storm.
BE Light. Be there for yourself.

Humiliation?
Disappointment?
Sickness?
Discouragement?
Denial?
Not good enough?
Feeling left out?
You are not a victim.
You are victorious.

Whatever your obstacle is, you can be your own light.
It might feel dark and you might feel incapable but go look yourself in your own eyes…into your own heart and own pool of swirling emotions.
Look past your hurt.
Look past your pain.
You HAVE to CHOOSE to see through what you feel into what is truth. These are different. One captures you and takes you into use and abuse you. But, Truth. Truth is different. Truth wraps arms around you and tells you not to the swirl and no to the confusion.
Truth is a Person and that Person says look into your eyes one more time – look past the swirl and look into the eyes of Truth staring back at you from your own eyes.
You are not alone. You WILL pass through this. Allow yourself to rise up into this new place of life and let Light be your Truth.

Be LIGHT in your own storm and love yourself as you do it.