I’m sure of God.
I did not always trust God. I was not always sure of God. I look back on life and can see all the ways He attempted to stop me, help me, redirect me, love me or give me wisdom. Man fell down on the job countless times yet every time, this God Whom I barely recognized was always rooting me onward. Being sure of God was the furthest from my mind. I had not had the deep realization of His life inside me even when I was in complete disagreement with His love, security or identity. As a matter of fact, I understand now that though my dad was not a good dad (though he did the best he could with what he knew) – God was still a good Dad to him AND to me and my family. You seen, religion will tell you God camps outside to make sure you get your act together in order for Him to be pleased. But, instead it is just opposite. HE camps INSIDE until you know Him and until you recognize His presence and until you can say with your own mouth – I’m sure of God.
What a Father. I was blown away when I realized how faithful God is – we have Father – Who is our Architect. We have Christ, His Son Who is Creator and we have Spirit Who leads us back into the Three Who live inside us the one. It is personal and it is public and it is real and it is authentic. No matter where you are – there they are.
You can be in the filthiest pig pen of confusion and unbelief and Those Three are right there with you prodding you into Their heart for you until you turn and get out of the mess. We are His and there is no running away. LOVE that about Them.Yes, you can say you are sure of God and I can say, I’m sure of God.
Sometimes that is all we lack. We want to step into something different or new. We want to be “that girl” or “that woman” or “that success story” yet it feels fleeting. Why? Confidence wins and many times we feel like our lack weighs more than or strengths. Insecurities run us off the road and we wonder what truck hit us. What are we thinking? This I know – when someone or something or some circumstance is so glaringly pounding me into the ground and I feel insecure or feel as if I have no right to feeling like I’m safe – I can now stop and reevaluate. in this recalibration time, I figured it out.
When my insecurity buttons are being pushed – more than likely and almost consistently it is because that person I’m dealing with is being pushed around by their OWN INSECURITY buttons. Oh yes… this is my key and your key dear one. Confidence won.
First – the Confidence that the power of the universe – that One – Who created you and lives inside you is confident and already won our insecurity battle. That alone is gold. Second – when you can step into THAT GOLD confidence and that strong alignment of already winning – you can be the one who says YOUR Confidence won.
Is it a one stop shop and its all good and you can rock on? Not normally but this I know. The journey to finding your confidence is worth it. If you make it an adventure and not a destination – if you make it a trip of winning along the way instead of who wins the race – then you will ENJOY even the moments when you feel lack because that place inside you where HE lives will be the space where HE reinforces the Truth – His confidence won and yours does too.
Until soon and much love – d
Is Euthanasia for you? You may not get to choose. I just read an article discussing Euthanasia including a forced and seemingly tricky move by a doctor and family regarding a parent. This also can include children. Surely not? Oh yes and though not all countries with universal health care have legalized euthanasia, Netherlands, Belgium, Columbia, Luxembourg, Canada, Switzerland, and Germany have universal health care and apparently are on board. I ask – is Euthanasia for you? Did you know there are currently 10 places in the U.S. with legalized euthanasia? Physician-assisted death or Suicide Assisted Death or “medical aid in dying” is legal in ten jurisdictions: California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Montana, Maine, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington. Is euthanasia for you?
If you would like to read the article that sheds light on this very current subject – you can do so here –
I realize this is not my normal jam and so my apologies if you are offended – but honestly – when you are pushing 60 – life looks a bit different. True relationship with those whom you consider “family” is important. You might think it is unthinkable but is it? There is a reason, we are encouraged not to allow our hearts to be hardened. Blessings and until soon – d
Hope is used some many times in a weak or timid way. Yet, hope is a strong word. Hope is a powerful word. Hope has great meaning. It is weighty. It is meaty. You can have hope – great confidence – expectancy – you CAN have trust when you can’t seem to trust yourself.
I have lived a long time now and see those years when I was so clueless (oh, I still have a few moments” and when I felt so insecure and had nothing to look forward to. Basically, I was wrapped in a swirl of false identity and had no trust for myself. I saw decisions I made – one after another fail until I felt like a complete failure of the biggest kind. Sadly, lived this way for a long time. I ran a very long time and at the time, I don’t think I knew I was running. I ran because I did not feel like I could trust myself.
Now, I get it – though I could not trust me – I could still trust God. Always, Hope says I trust God.
And now, I also get this other strong and deeper truth. Inside me was this God who I did not know lived within. I had no idea He loved me so much that He chose to live inside of my deepest failures, strongest anger or stormy nights.
I see now that I may not can always trust me – Hope says I trust God.
Hope says I’m Patient.
Your confidence – your expectation – can be raised. You do not have to live short of courage or strength. You can be steady. You can be tolerant of your own shortcomings. You can love yourself. You can learn how to be patient with the person who should be your closest friend – yourself. You can lean into joy and into peace. No more do you HAVE to be unkind to you and impatient with yourself. Listen, loving you and being patient with you is critical to your true and real life … the real you deep inside. Maybe you exercise self control with everyone but you – maybe you keep it together and are nice to your environment but when you look yourself in the mirror you lose all consciousness of kindness. WHOAH. Stop friend. True hope says I’m patient.
You get to be patient and kind and loving to you too. Say it with me, “I’m patient.”
If you practice this kindness and this response long enough and repeat this action of warmth and love long enough with you – it will become who you are and not just an action to take.
It is almost funny really when you think about the actual word impatience. IT says, I’m Patients.
A patient is usually someone in a hospital being cared for by others because of a physical or mental issue isn’t it?
So, you be your own patient. LOVE YOU. Care for you! This love and care will spread to those around you.
Practice these words, “I’m Patient.”
How do you personally get free from judgments if you always remind yourself and others of wronging or being wronged? It’s a choice.
Jesus wiped away all the wrong and being wronged. He chose.
Are we going to wipe away the memory of what He did on behalf of humanity? What happened to Him was atrocious.
So, His intention was forgiveness for all mankind.
Are we going to continue to hold unforgiveness for any and all mankind? Or receive what He did for all mankind’s wrongs including yours, mine and those who wronged our bloodlines? Choice.
If I continued to remind my family of their abuse (for the purpose to make sure they never do anything wrong to me again) how do you think that would go? They would feel condemned. Also, how would they ever forgive themselves? Had I held their wrongs against them…it would have held those same wrongs against myself. Choice.
I am not about to remove my family from my presence because they remind of how I was abused?
If I’m reminded of how I was abused, it is because I am still clinging to my wounds and I am unhealed in my heart.
What if I beat the hell out of my sisters for beating the hell out of me?
What if I hated their guts and wanted nothing to do with them because of how they treated me when I was a kid? Seriously. Think of the process of hatred and how it rules and reigns in the thought life…
It bears no good fruit whatsoever… it just causes more hate. Choice.
Thinking today into the deep about some specific memories – they stopped me and I cried and I remember… When my mom died, I made the arrangements. She had died in the hospital holding my sister’s hand. I came later with another sister. They were intensely worried about me and how I would take her death. It was a horrific season that ultimately changed all our lives. I remember. I gathered up her clothes. My pain was hidden as I masked the emptiness through my “maturity”. I remember the funeral home was filled with people who did not know her – never met her – but they knew my dad. They came to honor her because they knew him. I remember. We took the trek to Houston where we buried her and honestly, I did not return for many many years to that place … I knew she was not really there and I just did not want to remember.
Then, my dad died years later and the service was held in a small space at the Veterans Memorial. There was a man who played guitar who at the time was my sister and her husband’s friend. There was a salute with guns because of my dad’s service in the military – he was at Pearl Harbor. I still have some of his logs from seeing men burn on different levels of the ship. By the time he passed he was living in my sister’s home where he faced his fears of the unknown and ultimately – fearlessly went into the Unknown filled with Love and Peace. I remember.
For some reason today I was struck with how our lives influence one another and how one life matters. My mom was my best friend. I still miss her to this day. She would be proud of her girls including our niece who she loved with a fierce compassion. She would want to hug her right now. Mom would want to talk with her and want to soothe her heart. Mom valued. She mattered. Dad was strong and seeking and wanting to be forgiven and wanted to know Truth and he found it and it was beautiful. He mattered and he knew he mattered when it was all said and done. Maybe you don’t think you matter. Believe me – you are significant and your life matters – your thoughts matter – your prayers matter – your presence matters and when you are not present – it matters. God knows. He remembers.
My mom was a recluse and knew few. My dad was a recluse in his latter days and though back in a day he knew many – he died alone with one holding his hand and lovingly speaking to him as if he mattered because he did matter. His presence mattered. I remember both seasons of my life.
This is deep stuff my friend. What is my point you wonder? I’m rambling you think? No. I rarely if ever ramble. I just see a lot at one time and it takes a while to communicate …
The Bible talks about seasons of life. There is a preparation that takes place for every season and though we may feel unable – we can face it with Them inside us as we remember who we are and Who we came from … that may seem like a myth or a bunch of hooey to you – I don’t know… honestly it used to feel like that to me. I get it. I remember.
It is a deep shift to see how we live forever and how we have always been and how we will always be and how Love makes the difference in HOW we live and how we pass into a new life. Whew what a long sentence as I “ramble”. Some do not realize significance until that movement into the heavens. That is okay. God knows. No regrets. God remembers.
My mom and dad were strong influencers who never really got to live out their potential on this planet. Maybe that is one of the reasons my sisters and I have wanted to live all in and passionately moving forward into more of Him. We know they still live. We know Life is real. We realize they still live in another place. I have had to shift to see it and to realize it and to remember.
May you embrace the shift available to us all…. may I continue to face what I fearfully hold … may we receive this Love that holds us all and may we ultimately believe the Greatest Story ever Told. Until soon and much love as you and I remember … d
Hope says I will pass through.
Even so, most the time, it feels like a standing still and a sinking down and a gonna drown kind of season. Drudgery and Dreadful thoughts meet me when I think I will pass through. I have to stop and give myself a moment to consider and reconsider and recalibrate the infinite possibilities of stepping out from that place of defeat.
I will pass through.
I say it again – I will pass through.
Hope says I will pass through this valley and then move up the mountain. YES! This is the true voice of expectation and strength and confidence. I have to see myself painted with confidence to maintain the image that will help me stay in peace. I will pass through.
Listen, I know you may be watching others give up. But you can’t give up.
I know you may be watching strugglers straggle. But, you can’t straggle.
You get to make a new decision in the midst of others deciding. You do not have to lean into the voices in their heads.
No, you keep yourself in trust and confidence.
With confidence, say it with me – I will pass through.