I See

I see Life is inevitable and then there is life again.

Well, so I feel like I am experiencing what my mom experienced when she was dying at my age (57). I don’t like it nor want it but am not sure how to proceed other than to write it out.

I had dental surgery a few weeks ago and my body is still reeling – from the impact of an infection (still making its way out of my body)
from the impact of the sedation (still making its way out of my body) and the dehydration I had already experienced before the tooth was ever removed.

Since January or so, my esophageal sphincter has been stuck open (I am retraining it to be closed through a chiropractic help). The gastroenterologist was of no help as they only offered a pharmaceutical to soothe the acidic reaction. But the sphincter is getting triggered by either food, emotions or something ..unsure… event? Frequency?? Do not know. Did this happen to my mom? How did she pass through this season of her life?

My body is lower than the low acidic levels and so I’m working on monolithic eating with high alkaline causing foods. It is slow. It is a choosing with intention what I put into my mouth and a choosing with intention to eat it until it is mush in my mouth. I need the nutrients.

I remember Mom losing weight. I remember our last Christmas. I remember her weighing 118 pounds and I am at about 128 pounds right now. I have lost from 148 til now since about December/January… this is 2020 now…. Was that what happened to her?

My body is hungry. Was she hungry?

Was she unable to eat?

Did she feel misunderstood? Unnoticed?Uncared for? Alone?

I remember my dad leaving her at home alone as he went out on a date with a friend’s mom. I found it disgusting then. I did not understand his unkindness.

Now I see his selfishness.

And I see how out of control he felt at not being able to stop what was happening to his wife of 36 years. Now, I have compassion at him feeling powerless. I see.

I also remember him swearing to stop smoking when she was diagnosed which did not last long – he still smoked in her face.

I found that disgusting too. Now, I see his nervousness and how incapable he felt to care of his wife. He was a man’s man from surviving Pearl Harbor and other wars to living through raising 4 daughters … but this caring for his wife? This was different. This was painful. This was deep and this was where the rubber met the road. I see.

That was 1981.

It is 2020.

39 years.

Is this cellular memory for me? A twisted cellular frequency? If so, what triggered it? Why are these strange and odd incidents happening? I have no idea.

Is God revealing all of this to me?

Unsure. But it is revelatory.

I am fighting to trust and believe this is not my time to die. It feels silly to even be thinking it yet that is what is on the tip of my lips. Wow. It is an intensity I have never known.

Was she wanting to live? Choose life.

I remember asking why she was going to do chemotherapy and radiation.

Her response? It is my chance to live. She chose life. I see.

She wanted to see me grow up, get married – she wanted to live her days to see grandchildren – which there was only one and I’m thankful to know that niece today though her mom/my sister has passed away into the next realm. She wanted to see all her daughters succeed and she wanted to be part of our lives. She loved us. She was special. She was my best friend. She wanted life.

I have other issues I dare not share right now. So, I’m relearning how to live it seems. I’m learning how to eat it feels like for the first time. I see.

Bone broth is my friend.

So are green beans, asparagus and water. I love water. I love life.

I’m on a journey and you are too so don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.

I’ll be updating soon on food, restoration and life – life – life.

Until soon friend with an update and much love with life I see – Donna Reiners

Grief is not good

Good Grief Charlie Brown! Tonight, we watched an oldie and what I used to think was a goodie – Race for your Life with Charlie Brown. I never noticed how entirely critical and mean those kids were to Charlie Brown. Peppermint Patty yelled at him numerous times. Lucy called him names. Sally complained every moment of the movie. There was another group of kids who created havoc for all of them. In addition, these kids were on an overnight camping trip with water falls, dangerous caves, and the like. Granted we rarely see adults in these shows but this time it felt ridiculous. Craig pointed this out to me multiple times. It literally was a frequency my body rejected. Grief is not good Charlie Brown..

It hurt my heart the more I watched it. Bullying, complaining, gossiping, unkind words, mean spirited kids and it was literally from the beginning to the very end. It reminded me of how I grew up. The time was 1977 and I grew up with that kind of culture. It was like the norm and it seemed acceptable. But, grief is NOT good.

Grieving yourself or others with unkind words, complaints, thoughts and innuendos that make it impossible to believe in yourself is not good. I was 14 years old and I was not treated nicely at school or otherwise. All it did was produce rejection, low self esteem and a fear of love. This picture is of my sister Sandy and me. We were from a very dysfunctional family who did not show love toward one another. We do now but we did not then and the influence of shows like this one is evident in how we treated one another.

Maybe it does matter what we watch with our eyes just like it matters what food we put into our mouth and it matters what we listen to with our ears.

Usually, I love the Charlie Brown movies because they are clean and have a good premise and you laugh. But, I did not laugh much this time. I’m a different person than I was in 1977 and I do not want to return to the person who felt it was okay to be ruthless and retaliatory. I want to allow the influence of Love to have its way and do its work in my heart and in my body. Grief is not good.

I pray today you will take notice of your words and thoughts toward yourself and others. Love is the way. Grief is not good. Love, d

Remember

Long but strong. How much more now in Christ? Remember Christ.
Obedience is not works – its His deeds coming forth.

All we have is given by the LORD – the I AM – whether little or plenty. Your little might be someone else’s plenty. What you may feel is not near enough may represent riches to someone else.

Love the simplicity. When you eat and are satisfied – not gorged – not stuffed. How about when you have what you need and are happy with what you have.. OR what if it is you who has enough to give to someone else’s satisfaction?

Maybe you are sitting.
Maybe you are standing.
Maybe you are laying down.
Maybe you are passing through.

Remember the One Who lives inside you and remember the One Who lives inside of the one next to you. Remember those things you said you would do – remember the commitments you made and maybe have forgotten or let it slip away because of your flourishing or your poverty. God speaks. HE starts seasons and HE ends seasons. HE is the Beginning and the End and the In Between. Remember.

Obeying God is from His spirit alive in you – Christ in you allows you to move forward in your health, your healing, your mental awareness, your financial increases, increasing the fruit of the spirit, increasing joy inside you while you move forward. It could be you don’t feel you are hearing. This is where God comes in with His Body – He speaks through others too.
HE makes pathway where you can’t see the forest for the trees.
HE speaks to others when you are down on your knees.
HE is LORD of all and not just of you.
So, if HE will speak to a donkey, He will get His plan through –
even if through someone other than you. Remember.

There is a cooperation that comes when you remember Christ. HE gives you power to sit, power to stand, power to lay down and power to pass through. Satisfied.

Don’t forget Christ in you when you eat.
Don’t forget Christ in you when you are satisfied.
Don’t forget Christ in you when you build your house.
Don’t forget Christ in you when you settle in.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your business flourishes.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your stocks increase.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your money comes in.
Don’t forget Christ in you when more money comes in.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your standard of living goes up.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your standard of living keeps going up.

Remember Christ so you don’t become full of yourself.
Remember Christ so you don’t become full of all your things.
Remember Christ Who delivered you from slavery to self.
Remember Christ Who led you through your trials.
Remember Christ Who led you through that sickness.
Remember Christ Who led you through that financial upset.
Remember Christ Who led you through that crisis.
Remember Christ Who led you through that breakup.
Remember Christ Who led you through that betrayal.
Remember Christ Who led you through homelessness.
Remember Christ Who led you through that divorce.
Remember Christ Who led you through that death.
Remember Christ Who led you through that fear.
Remember Christ Who led you through that torment.

Remember Christ Who led you through that victory.
Remember Christ Who led you through that creativity.
Remember Christ Who led you through that friendship.
Remember…

Prayerful thoughts

What if our thoughts are prayers?

What if it matters what we think to The One Who answers prayer?

What if renewing our mind works hand in hand, complimenting our prayer life?

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1st Thes 5:16-18 love-d #prayer

Too much Hope?

When someone offers you what feels like “too much hope” through an unorthodox way whether it be mental, physical or emotional and you say no based on something that happened in the past to you or to someone else…….. I just want to remind you that you might just miss your opportunity to have a positive change to your life.

What if your no to this “weird too much hope” can’t explain or understand it thing is your no to you speaking, talking, hearing or walking?

Let your tomorrow be different than your past.

And if you are afraid to hope too much because of being disappointed in the past …all I can tell you is that I would prefer to step out and be disappointed than stay stuck in hopelessness which says NO to anything positive. What about you?

I know…. this may not make sense to all of you but some of you get it.

Stop being afraid of your own shadow.

Stop being afraid of the impossibilities.

Start saying hello to the possibilities.

Start saying hello to even ONE LITTLE STEP FORWARD!!

Hope again!

I almost refused to share with someone today something that I know has the capability to change her life and the lives of those around her. Almost.

Then, I felt that nudge inside….. “Why are you afraid to bring hope?” We met with a family and literally changed their lives in a positive way. It was NOT false hope. It was not healing either…but it was definitely improvement. Thank You God!

I remember years ago I was in a situation with a church staff/pastor where our belief systems collided. They called to ask me questions about whether I believed that God healed today. I had been hanging out with some of the women in his church and he was “concerned”. As we explored our conversation, it was as if I had a rope around my neck and I would not get out alive. You see, I did not graduate a seminary (or cemetery) is what my pastor 25 years ago said it was called. Anyhow, my point is that I was fairly new in leaning strongly into believing God healed instead of thinking He did not. After a very long conversation, the bottom line was that he had been hurt years ago – his church he felt had been hurt years ago from what he believed to be “false prophetic words” regarding healing and atonement and all that went in between. His point however was that all those comments and prophecies did was give false hope because that person died. They were devastated and he insinuated that his church was devastated and that it created basically a bad name for God and so he did not want me to influence his church with a belief system that included atonement. I was stuck.

How do I honor this pastor and his belief system and honor God and His belief system and help the women continue to move forward into more life in Christ and let them have their OWN belief system? I was not ruled by fear and the ladies did not want to be ruled by fear either. After all, God IS LOVE – He does not “just love”… I had to choose. I was not scared which honestly was miraculous at the time because I had such a strong submission to authority and wanted more than anything to please pastors or anyone in any kind of leadership and authority… But there was a VOICE…….inside me.

THE Voice – THAT Voice INSIDE me.

I KNEW that voice… I did not know all the information that pastor knew and I did not know how to lead a church but I knew inside me that I was safe to believe and Hope in the One Who healed and believe in healing. This was HIS leading from the inside of me.

Was this pastor lead by the same voice? I believe so but we all hear through our own filters. Maybe there were places inside me that were developed differently than the places in His heart inside him. He was mature and I was mature but in different areas. Now, many years later I’m mature in other areas and have changed. I have great respect for his heart for his congregation and his desire to protect them. On the other hand, I realize I must follow that voice…as I learn and grow I would prefer it to be in hearing Him not just hearing information and following doctrines of safety.

I had seen some healed. I had been healed of some conditions supernatural. Years later, I have experienced more of the same – healed and not healed. Yet, is this because our God of Hope is inconsistent? Is this because God is not a Healer? If I’m not healed, is God the bad guy?

These are thoughts that we all have from time to time right? When you are growing in what you know about Creator…you ask questions and when you are growing in Who Creator is or what you think He is…you ask questions and when you actually converse with Him and get to know Him and you feel He is getting to know you…and you think HEY is God a Person Who hears me and knows me and is real and HE KNOWS ME????? WOW. Everything changes. Share with friends.

Love- Donna Reiners

Show them the door

When you feel as if you are losing your mind, stop to recalibrate before you fall to the floor.

Defeat, discouragement, dismay & depression are not your friends.

Show them the door.

Do not be distracted by their visit.

Just refocus after their departure.

Let the imprint of the bottom of your shoe be their next tattoo.

Blessings-Donna Reiners

You are alive

I was born two months early at 5 pounds. I stayed in an incubator for two months waiting the time for me to be strong enough to go home and be with my mom.

I got to be hooked up to all sorts of life support almost 57 years ago. Tubes crawled in and out of lots of areas in my body while my body finished developing at Fort Campbell Kentucky Army Base hospital.

For the first two months of my life outside the womb, the nurses and doctors were my parents. They made all my decisions, cleaned me and fed me and monitored me to make sure I would not die. Back then, your mom wasn’t at the hospital very day to check on you and it was not possible to hold me… Affection was later.

This is what I know: I would not be writing this nor you reading this had someone snipped my neck or decided I was not worthy to live…or been so convinced I was just a ‘fetus’ and separated themselves from me being a human being…

If you are reading this then high chance your neck wasn’t snipped either.

You are alive my friend… a special treasure and you have something to be thankful about…

Share this my friend.

Get Dressed

Hello there – do you feel discouraged or delayed?
Are you thinking of getting up -another day?
I say…today is your day….  I bless you!
Check out this short encouragement!

GET DRESSED!

Love, d

 

 

No premature end

You don’t know how your #story ends so don’t end it prematurely. #coach #life #business #women #author #ISC19

 

It’s Easy..

Love-d