I See

I see Life is inevitable and then there is life again.

Well, so I feel like I am experiencing what my mom experienced when she was dying at my age (57). I don’t like it nor want it but am not sure how to proceed other than to write it out.

I had dental surgery a few weeks ago and my body is still reeling – from the impact of an infection (still making its way out of my body)
from the impact of the sedation (still making its way out of my body) and the dehydration I had already experienced before the tooth was ever removed.

Since January or so, my esophageal sphincter has been stuck open (I am retraining it to be closed through a chiropractic help). The gastroenterologist was of no help as they only offered a pharmaceutical to soothe the acidic reaction. But the sphincter is getting triggered by either food, emotions or something ..unsure… event? Frequency?? Do not know. Did this happen to my mom? How did she pass through this season of her life?

My body is lower than the low acidic levels and so I’m working on monolithic eating with high alkaline causing foods. It is slow. It is a choosing with intention what I put into my mouth and a choosing with intention to eat it until it is mush in my mouth. I need the nutrients.

I remember Mom losing weight. I remember our last Christmas. I remember her weighing 118 pounds and I am at about 128 pounds right now. I have lost from 148 til now since about December/January… this is 2020 now…. Was that what happened to her?

My body is hungry. Was she hungry?

Was she unable to eat?

Did she feel misunderstood? Unnoticed?Uncared for? Alone?

I remember my dad leaving her at home alone as he went out on a date with a friend’s mom. I found it disgusting then. I did not understand his unkindness.

Now I see his selfishness.

And I see how out of control he felt at not being able to stop what was happening to his wife of 36 years. Now, I have compassion at him feeling powerless. I see.

I also remember him swearing to stop smoking when she was diagnosed which did not last long – he still smoked in her face.

I found that disgusting too. Now, I see his nervousness and how incapable he felt to care of his wife. He was a man’s man from surviving Pearl Harbor and other wars to living through raising 4 daughters … but this caring for his wife? This was different. This was painful. This was deep and this was where the rubber met the road. I see.

That was 1981.

It is 2020.

39 years.

Is this cellular memory for me? A twisted cellular frequency? If so, what triggered it? Why are these strange and odd incidents happening? I have no idea.

Is God revealing all of this to me?

Unsure. But it is revelatory.

I am fighting to trust and believe this is not my time to die. It feels silly to even be thinking it yet that is what is on the tip of my lips. Wow. It is an intensity I have never known.

Was she wanting to live? Choose life.

I remember asking why she was going to do chemotherapy and radiation.

Her response? It is my chance to live. She chose life. I see.

She wanted to see me grow up, get married – she wanted to live her days to see grandchildren – which there was only one and I’m thankful to know that niece today though her mom/my sister has passed away into the next realm. She wanted to see all her daughters succeed and she wanted to be part of our lives. She loved us. She was special. She was my best friend. She wanted life.

I have other issues I dare not share right now. So, I’m relearning how to live it seems. I’m learning how to eat it feels like for the first time. I see.

Bone broth is my friend.

So are green beans, asparagus and water. I love water. I love life.

I’m on a journey and you are too so don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.

I’ll be updating soon on food, restoration and life – life – life.

Until soon friend with an update and much love with life I see – Donna Reiners

Grief is not good

Good Grief Charlie Brown! Tonight, we watched an oldie and what I used to think was a goodie – Race for your Life with Charlie Brown. I never noticed how entirely critical and mean those kids were to Charlie Brown. Peppermint Patty yelled at him numerous times. Lucy called him names. Sally complained every moment of the movie. There was another group of kids who created havoc for all of them. In addition, these kids were on an overnight camping trip with water falls, dangerous caves, and the like. Granted we rarely see adults in these shows but this time it felt ridiculous. Craig pointed this out to me multiple times. It literally was a frequency my body rejected. Grief is not good Charlie Brown..

It hurt my heart the more I watched it. Bullying, complaining, gossiping, unkind words, mean spirited kids and it was literally from the beginning to the very end. It reminded me of how I grew up. The time was 1977 and I grew up with that kind of culture. It was like the norm and it seemed acceptable. But, grief is NOT good.

Grieving yourself or others with unkind words, complaints, thoughts and innuendos that make it impossible to believe in yourself is not good. I was 14 years old and I was not treated nicely at school or otherwise. All it did was produce rejection, low self esteem and a fear of love. This picture is of my sister Sandy and me. We were from a very dysfunctional family who did not show love toward one another. We do now but we did not then and the influence of shows like this one is evident in how we treated one another.

Maybe it does matter what we watch with our eyes just like it matters what food we put into our mouth and it matters what we listen to with our ears.

Usually, I love the Charlie Brown movies because they are clean and have a good premise and you laugh. But, I did not laugh much this time. I’m a different person than I was in 1977 and I do not want to return to the person who felt it was okay to be ruthless and retaliatory. I want to allow the influence of Love to have its way and do its work in my heart and in my body. Grief is not good.

I pray today you will take notice of your words and thoughts toward yourself and others. Love is the way. Grief is not good. Love, d

Voices in your Head

Hope says He is my security even when I run circles with Voices in my head. What about the voices in your head?
Oh, but it does not feel like that does not? Sometimes the storm inside is so full of voices and thoughts and ideas that you think you’re going crazy. Yet, there is One Who is not in favor of you going cray cray. Nope, They want you to lean into Them for security and stability. Father, Son and Spirit are standing strong and still as you run circles. Oh, They speak but They speak in calm not fury. Maybe you are so accustomed to the swirls that you don’t see or discern the Peace available in the midst of voices in your head.
It is like you feel attacked by birds of prey and you feel like there is no use to pray.
Yet, God is there – waiting to capture your heart and set you in a new way.
Stop and be still and hear His heartbeat instead.Do not be afraid of the voices in your head.

Until soon and here is a video to encourage you.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a real experience. I know someone whom I unintentionally betrayed. When I saw it and received that Truth from God, I was able to eventually sort through the issues of the why and the what and then – well – then I talked with the man and the woman. Do you know what they said? Well, that explains why “such and which” won’t return my call. Then, they both without hesitation and with full honesty said, “I forgive you” and they actually meant it.

How do I know they meant it? They did not treat me any differently after I exposed myself and shared with them what happened. They literally hugged me, supported me, loved me, encouraged me and laughed as if – it never once impacted them – although it truly did in ways I probably still do not understand. They talked about flesh and how we all are learning and we all are changing and that I needed to move forward and not be tormented by it. This was several years ago and they still treat me the same. I’m still welcomed in their home and they still refer others to me and they still hug me and text me and acknowledge my presence in their lives. Forgiveness.

They had already forgiven before they were confronted with a need to forgive me or anyone else. They lived and live from a deep place.

They are mature. In that place of maturity, I experienced a deep healing inside me when they not only forgave in that moment of my confession but they continued to value me in the days and years that followed. They maintained relationship with me as if that incident had never happened. Forgiveness.

They are kingdom like no one I have ever known. They paved the way with an honesty from the cross nobody (but one man who has already passed) had ever demonstrated to me. I see them do this consistently with others as well. I was not their first rodeo nor will I be their final one.

This I know – as long as you have relationships with others you will experience being thrown under a bus, humiliated, not appreciated, not paid back, not thanked, not loved, not apologized to and not understood. Also, as long as you have relationships you will experience being loved, watched over, thanked, appreciated, valued, loved and forgiven.

As long as the kingdom is always sought first and as long as that kingdom is not about “me, myself and I” then this Christ Whom we believe and trust and desire to know will have His way and be glorified through you and me. Forgiveness is the King’s domain. It is a place where we are supposed to have dominion and we can only have that kind of dominion through experiencing and exercising His life here with ourselves and others.

I’m still so thankful for their example of living as Christ on the planet and not just “talking” about living as Christ on the planet. Forgiveness is an action Jesus took and it is one we too can take. Reconciliation and humility and transparency and love is found in relationship and it can be for the long haul for those who choose that road of Life.

Can you imagine treating someone as if they had never hurt you? Never betrayed you? Never talked poorly about you? Never abused you? Forgiveness.

For you who are formulating why you think this is not every case – I’m not saying go back to that man who beat the hell out of you. I’m not saying trust that woman who threw you out of that vehicle. I am not saying it is okay that man or woman committed or are committing adultery.

But, I am saying if we cannot acknowledge where we wrong or misunderstand others – if we cannot love that person as they never harmed us – then it is highly probable we have not forgiven them as Christ has already forgiven us. It is a strong indicator of a heart that is not loving fully or being loved fully in an area of life. These are the lessons in life I consider and chew on and work out with Him. HE is so faithful to let us be honest instead of pretending and HE is so faithful to confront us with honesty too. Pondering from the deep..
My friends if you are a deep well and want to write a book – check out this free training. I did this and have not regretted it! Just click on the link and let me know my friend!!  https://vt226.isrefer.com/go/aaevtrng/donnareinersignited/

Until soon with forgiveness – d.

Remember

Long but strong. How much more now in Christ? Remember Christ.
Obedience is not works – its His deeds coming forth.

All we have is given by the LORD – the I AM – whether little or plenty. Your little might be someone else’s plenty. What you may feel is not near enough may represent riches to someone else.

Love the simplicity. When you eat and are satisfied – not gorged – not stuffed. How about when you have what you need and are happy with what you have.. OR what if it is you who has enough to give to someone else’s satisfaction?

Maybe you are sitting.
Maybe you are standing.
Maybe you are laying down.
Maybe you are passing through.

Remember the One Who lives inside you and remember the One Who lives inside of the one next to you. Remember those things you said you would do – remember the commitments you made and maybe have forgotten or let it slip away because of your flourishing or your poverty. God speaks. HE starts seasons and HE ends seasons. HE is the Beginning and the End and the In Between. Remember.

Obeying God is from His spirit alive in you – Christ in you allows you to move forward in your health, your healing, your mental awareness, your financial increases, increasing the fruit of the spirit, increasing joy inside you while you move forward. It could be you don’t feel you are hearing. This is where God comes in with His Body – He speaks through others too.
HE makes pathway where you can’t see the forest for the trees.
HE speaks to others when you are down on your knees.
HE is LORD of all and not just of you.
So, if HE will speak to a donkey, He will get His plan through –
even if through someone other than you. Remember.

There is a cooperation that comes when you remember Christ. HE gives you power to sit, power to stand, power to lay down and power to pass through. Satisfied.

Don’t forget Christ in you when you eat.
Don’t forget Christ in you when you are satisfied.
Don’t forget Christ in you when you build your house.
Don’t forget Christ in you when you settle in.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your business flourishes.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your stocks increase.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your money comes in.
Don’t forget Christ in you when more money comes in.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your standard of living goes up.
Don’t forget Christ in you when your standard of living keeps going up.

Remember Christ so you don’t become full of yourself.
Remember Christ so you don’t become full of all your things.
Remember Christ Who delivered you from slavery to self.
Remember Christ Who led you through your trials.
Remember Christ Who led you through that sickness.
Remember Christ Who led you through that financial upset.
Remember Christ Who led you through that crisis.
Remember Christ Who led you through that breakup.
Remember Christ Who led you through that betrayal.
Remember Christ Who led you through homelessness.
Remember Christ Who led you through that divorce.
Remember Christ Who led you through that death.
Remember Christ Who led you through that fear.
Remember Christ Who led you through that torment.

Remember Christ Who led you through that victory.
Remember Christ Who led you through that creativity.
Remember Christ Who led you through that friendship.
Remember…

Prayerful thoughts

What if our thoughts are prayers?

What if it matters what we think to The One Who answers prayer?

What if renewing our mind works hand in hand, complimenting our prayer life?

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1st Thes 5:16-18 love-d #prayer

Too much Hope?

When someone offers you what feels like “too much hope” through an unorthodox way whether it be mental, physical or emotional and you say no based on something that happened in the past to you or to someone else…….. I just want to remind you that you might just miss your opportunity to have a positive change to your life.

What if your no to this “weird too much hope” can’t explain or understand it thing is your no to you speaking, talking, hearing or walking?

Let your tomorrow be different than your past.

And if you are afraid to hope too much because of being disappointed in the past …all I can tell you is that I would prefer to step out and be disappointed than stay stuck in hopelessness which says NO to anything positive. What about you?

I know…. this may not make sense to all of you but some of you get it.

Stop being afraid of your own shadow.

Stop being afraid of the impossibilities.

Start saying hello to the possibilities.

Start saying hello to even ONE LITTLE STEP FORWARD!!

Hope again!

I almost refused to share with someone today something that I know has the capability to change her life and the lives of those around her. Almost.

Then, I felt that nudge inside….. “Why are you afraid to bring hope?” We met with a family and literally changed their lives in a positive way. It was NOT false hope. It was not healing either…but it was definitely improvement. Thank You God!

I remember years ago I was in a situation with a church staff/pastor where our belief systems collided. They called to ask me questions about whether I believed that God healed today. I had been hanging out with some of the women in his church and he was “concerned”. As we explored our conversation, it was as if I had a rope around my neck and I would not get out alive. You see, I did not graduate a seminary (or cemetery) is what my pastor 25 years ago said it was called. Anyhow, my point is that I was fairly new in leaning strongly into believing God healed instead of thinking He did not. After a very long conversation, the bottom line was that he had been hurt years ago – his church he felt had been hurt years ago from what he believed to be “false prophetic words” regarding healing and atonement and all that went in between. His point however was that all those comments and prophecies did was give false hope because that person died. They were devastated and he insinuated that his church was devastated and that it created basically a bad name for God and so he did not want me to influence his church with a belief system that included atonement. I was stuck.

How do I honor this pastor and his belief system and honor God and His belief system and help the women continue to move forward into more life in Christ and let them have their OWN belief system? I was not ruled by fear and the ladies did not want to be ruled by fear either. After all, God IS LOVE – He does not “just love”… I had to choose. I was not scared which honestly was miraculous at the time because I had such a strong submission to authority and wanted more than anything to please pastors or anyone in any kind of leadership and authority… But there was a VOICE…….inside me.

THE Voice – THAT Voice INSIDE me.

I KNEW that voice… I did not know all the information that pastor knew and I did not know how to lead a church but I knew inside me that I was safe to believe and Hope in the One Who healed and believe in healing. This was HIS leading from the inside of me.

Was this pastor lead by the same voice? I believe so but we all hear through our own filters. Maybe there were places inside me that were developed differently than the places in His heart inside him. He was mature and I was mature but in different areas. Now, many years later I’m mature in other areas and have changed. I have great respect for his heart for his congregation and his desire to protect them. On the other hand, I realize I must follow that voice…as I learn and grow I would prefer it to be in hearing Him not just hearing information and following doctrines of safety.

I had seen some healed. I had been healed of some conditions supernatural. Years later, I have experienced more of the same – healed and not healed. Yet, is this because our God of Hope is inconsistent? Is this because God is not a Healer? If I’m not healed, is God the bad guy?

These are thoughts that we all have from time to time right? When you are growing in what you know about Creator…you ask questions and when you are growing in Who Creator is or what you think He is…you ask questions and when you actually converse with Him and get to know Him and you feel He is getting to know you…and you think HEY is God a Person Who hears me and knows me and is real and HE KNOWS ME????? WOW. Everything changes. Share with friends.

Love- Donna Reiners

More than a Word

Faith.

It’s more than a word.

Trust.

It’s more than an action.

You don’t know until it’s you…

Facing your body’s need for..

A kidney, liver, brain stem.

You don’t know til it’s you faced with

cancer, ataxia, tumor, Parkinsons.

You don’t know til you’re the one whose spouse, child, sibling or parent died –

In your arms, on your watch, in your home, in your classroom, on your property.

Yes, you may understand. You may feel you believe.

But understanding and knowing are not the same.

The other day I understood from an X-ray that I had a calcified bone spur that needed attention. Then, I was treated for it and know by experience (through the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt in my life) that I had a calcified bone that needed attention. After weeping, crying, yelling, weeping again…I KNOW it’s an issue.

I’ve prayed, commanded, imagined, meditated, and levitated (not really) in faith, trust and authority. Not restored.

So, I took action steps to address it. Wow. I did not know I could withstand that kind of pain. Had no idea I could or would endure.

I left thanking God for a pain filled arm as I thought of a precious woman who literally has one arm due to a flesh eating bacteria that attached her other one. You just don’t know til you know…

You and I may understand with the head but are out hearts far away?

I’m learning to pause before I presume to truly know what pain, heart ache, confusion, loneliness, insecurity, or feelings of shut down another has. I’m learning to look around and find someone else who wants to be noticed, understood, listened to, acknowledged, remembered…LOVED…

I encourage you to receive fresh compassion for the hurting which might even include your pain.

Not empathy. Not sympathy. These are weak fleshly tools.

Compassion is powerful. It is a strong supernatural super power!!

Compassion is Love & kindness.

Time is priceless.

Your presence is valid. You’re important. You’re significant. You matter.

I encourage you to pause and look yourself in the eye. Then look that other person in the eye. You may feel pain you cannot resolve. You may see wisdom from suffering. You may even see God looking back at you. What will you say in response?

I encourage you not to presume that the person who no longer comes around to see you is lazy or busy. Maybe they too are passing through unspoken issues, pain.

At the end of the day, most are doing the best we can.

So, instead of deciding to discount that person whom you think should get it together …

or … condemn that person you think should know better …

or … talk down to that person whose worth is in the toilet without your reminder …

Or … forget the compassion you want if you ever have to walk in their shoes …

Or feel you have zero worth because you’re alone… so you make certain you’re not…

Remember, that hate – that low self esteem – that yucky feeling – you feel is only hurting yourself…your atmosphere.

So, let it go.

One more time.

Again. Learning. Soooooo much to learn about being present. Noticed. Unnoticed. I’ve been crying more. Listening. Realizing. Valued. Weak yet strong. I’m seeing my errors. I’m not feeling condemned but I’m seeing my own issues. Forgive me those who know me personally for not being present when present. Forgive me those who have felt condemned online.

When I was a kid I had a big mouth.

I talked wayyyy too much to cover it up.

I hated myself. I was filled with strife.

It’s took me years to forgive my own hell.

Love was the answer as was His reply.

Receive your inheritance of life.

From your spirit alive in Christ.

Sow into the incorruptible seed of Love ..

From Those within not just above.

More than a word

You are alive

I was born two months early at 5 pounds. I stayed in an incubator for two months waiting the time for me to be strong enough to go home and be with my mom.

I got to be hooked up to all sorts of life support almost 57 years ago. Tubes crawled in and out of lots of areas in my body while my body finished developing at Fort Campbell Kentucky Army Base hospital.

For the first two months of my life outside the womb, the nurses and doctors were my parents. They made all my decisions, cleaned me and fed me and monitored me to make sure I would not die. Back then, your mom wasn’t at the hospital very day to check on you and it was not possible to hold me… Affection was later.

This is what I know: I would not be writing this nor you reading this had someone snipped my neck or decided I was not worthy to live…or been so convinced I was just a ‘fetus’ and separated themselves from me being a human being…

If you are reading this then high chance your neck wasn’t snipped either.

You are alive my friend… a special treasure and you have something to be thankful about…

Share this my friend.

Hijacked Moments

Hijacked Moments with @Crystal Griffith and @RadiantJoyConsulting

As a child, we don’t really know what we don’t know, all is fairy tales and superheroes. As a teenager, our world is consumed with who likes who and studies. As an adult, we are following the expectations of college, marriage, parenting. But along the way, the moments of what we think should happen can be hijacked by other’s expectations or selfishness, traumas, or even loss, or more.

The emotions that come with these commandeered time-lapses are what set the stage for the next leg of our journey. Our belief systems become skewed with angst, disappointment, failure, anger, victim mentalities. We struggle with wanting to feel self-pity, woe is me, how did it get this way, I didn’t deserve this versus walking in victory. Don’t get me wrong, traumas require grieving, grieving what was expected, what you thought the future would hold, the loss of what was versus what now is. Grieving is cathartic for a season.

Think about Joseph, who had plenty of time in jail to grieve what had been lost. He didn’t even know if he would see his father again. Grieving his relationships with his brothers, his life being in jail in innocence, and perhaps even his dreams. Even when his life was hijacked by his brothers, slavery, lies by his owner’s wife, he continued to walk forward. He chose to walk in victory in the darkest of circumstances. This choice led to his promotion, to favor, to become 2nd in command of Eygpt. No longer being hijacked but being restored in righteousness, abundance, favor

So even in the moments that have seemed hijacked from you, stolen with what seems like no hope, they will be restored in ways you can only imagine if you choose to walk in victory. Lay aside that victim mantel. It is not serving you. It is causing you to stay in chains now of your own making. But you can release yourself. You can walk in healing and freedom, separated from the hijacker, separated from the offenses. Need help? Pm @Crystal Griffith.

#RadiantJoyLife #TransformationMentor #Splankna #BreakOffTheLies #RenovateTheHeart #AwakenYourSoul #RevealYourDestiny #ActivateYourVoice #TransformYourLife #ignite2019 #Breakthrough #BeBrave #BeBrilliant #BeResilient #LiveVictoriously #LifeRestored