Hope says I will pass through.
Even so, most the time, it feels like a standing still and a sinking down and a gonna drown kind of season. Drudgery and Dreadful thoughts meet me when I think I will pass through. I have to stop and give myself a moment to consider and reconsider and recalibrate the infinite possibilities of stepping out from that place of defeat.
I will pass through.
I say it again – I will pass through.
Hope says I will pass through this valley and then move up the mountain. YES! This is the true voice of expectation and strength and confidence. I have to see myself painted with confidence to maintain the image that will help me stay in peace. I will pass through.
Listen, I know you may be watching others give up. But you can’t give up.
I know you may be watching strugglers straggle. But, you can’t straggle.
You get to make a new decision in the midst of others deciding. You do not have to lean into the voices in their heads.
No, you keep yourself in trust and confidence.
With confidence, say it with me – I will pass through.
At the risk of making you the reader mad – Let me be the minority voice and have my own little ruckus because I’m an unknown woman who grew up on the wrong side of the track whose daddy owned a worm ranch and you know how fun that was to be known as the family with the worms whose nickname was Sewage… You and I both walk this same earth. Yes, I am white so go ahead and presuppose now before you read onward cause I’m sure it’s gonna make somebody mad…cause you know…that seems to be the preferred emotion this day…you know…to get angry instead of a change of mind or actually have a conversation face to face versus on facebook or this device where we do not see the pain in each others eyes and we stay clear of any kind of true compassion for the life we have lived or are now living.
WHY does the sickening hate in American continue to be about racism and not identifying the true issue?
Historically, it seems here in America, we stop and cling to the word racism every time there is any kind of violence against a non-white and then the nation riots (not the first time) and then we have an outcry against racism. If a stand against racism were the answer would it have been resolved by now? The issue is identity in all colors and not just white. We live on this same earth.
Violence was not how Martin Luther King handled his life – that man is a man who crosses all denominational and all economical and all color boundaries. He demonstrated dignity and literally changed society…He knew who He was and Whose. He paid a price for it. He was fearless.
My goodness – Why do you suppose we do not develop past our own skin color? Yes, AGAIN, I acknowledge I’m still white and now some may be protesting from non-white skin and say something like this: “You don’t know what it is like to walk in my shoes…or my mom’s or grandfathers or …….onward…. And you don’t know what it was like to walk in mine either. This country is IMMATURE IN developing respect… for just about anything really when you think about it…. We all want to shift blame to somebody else for why we have a lack of identity. I see the disrespect in the mom for her role as I see her ignore her child while on her phone every single day when she walks the kid around the corner. I see the kids next door completely ignore instructions from their parents. I almost get hit by cars thinking it is cool to race down the highway in rush-hour as they endanger all of us in their competition. I see an entire family including kids on their cell phones at dinner ignoring one another. These are all colors and all ages and all economics. Disrespect for one another is learned. Respect is learned. But lack of love is probably at the core root.
You are right – I don’t know what it was like to walk or what it IS like to walk in your shoes. I was bullied as a kid and as an adult every single day (not tarred and feathered) but continually hit and continually made fun of and was poor and paid for vacations with bottles my parents found on the side of the road so part of me has had some issues maybe some of you did not have…
I grew up under the leadership of an earthly father who felt hitting was the best way to communicate his love language. I grew up with kids who ridiculed me daily and I hated myself with a vengeance most my life… What I experienced is not the same as any-color racism –
ALTHOUGH at the time it tore me apart and almost took my life many times in my lifetime….
Racism is found in all cultures across the globe – cultural prejudice within and outside of all sorts of sects and family lines and cities and nations including inside America.
Yet all of us walk on this same earth.
And honestly, it seems to be white people who stop whatever they are doing to jump up and down to come to the defense of racism more than anyone – is it guilt? Do we want to be popular? Do we want others to think well of us? Do we want more friends? Do we really want to make a difference? Why is the cry for racism only during riots and bloodshed?
If it was really solely a race issue – do you think it could have been resolved by now?
Are you really convinced race is the issue?
COULD it be deeper than race…deeper than skin shade…?
I just wish we had a true strategy to solve this sickening emotion/hatred.
I’m thinking we as a nation – a people – all over the globe – don’t know who we are and we don’t know WHOSE we are and we don’t acknowledge we have the exact same color blood and we breathe the exact same air and we have the same organs. We won’t consider that we all came from the same Spirit and we all return to the same Spirit after we leave this same earth that we all walk on together.
Instead, we use emotions as our excuse for actions and behavior
that belittles, reinforces, dishonors, angers and rules atmospheres…separates, divides, shifts blame and takes blame.
I was thinking today that it is ironic to think the one rioting may be robbing their heavenly neighbor?? Sad to think the one prejudice against that other is having attitude with someone who holds God Already living inside them and living alongside of them and will see them in the next place of existence…until then – we all walk on this same earth.
It is not just us white people who don’t now who we are – it is every color as we walk this same earth.
Screwed Up MESS is what is happening folks.
End of my rant.
Have a great day.
Make a non violent rumble will you?
Let your voice be heard.
But let it be a voice for humanity and not just your section of humanity… because right now we are ALL focused on this one thing…in unity to stop something that we won’t stop by using all these little posts and antics of poopularity…………. 🙂
Be mad. When we are mad, we stop being kind to others AND ourselves…
because that is how the emotion of hate – separation – division – works…
hate is an inside job that shows up on the outside…
If I were not white would you still be mad for me writing this?
LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE THE ANSWER.
Love is an inside job.
Where is our Wisdom as an entire people?
NOT A PASSIVE LOVE.
NOT A COMPLACENT LOVE.
BUT a Union in Love from Love with an origin from ABOVE Who may even live inside of you (even if you have turned to hate God or Higher Power or WHATEVER/WHOMEVER You call the one who gives you breath and blood) So, are we fighting amongst our own brothers and sisters? WHEN REALLY we are all really one color…. ?? Something to think about as we walk this same earth.
Interesting to think we have the same Father … we were all birthed…
You have thoughts? I would love to hear some response from love not hate. So, if you don’t know me, you won’t hear compassion, you won’t see the tears, you won’t care about my heart that cares…
Pondering life. Fascinated God chose us before the foundation of the world. While yet not breathing, He chose us. While yet against Him, He included those He created. HE is in us, around us. What does it mean? All things exist in heaven and earth because of Him, adhering to Him. For Him. By Him. Through Him. Including you. Including me. How devastatingly unpractical yet our reality – not just a doctrinal truth. You can hear Him.
Father restoring relationship through His Son for all mankind? Father forgiving all of mankind through One Sacrifice? Without our help or permission. One Sacrifice resurrected for all mankind. What do you do with that? If Adam caused mankind to be dead then certainly Jesus brought life to mankind? Surely we don’t see Adam as more powerful than Christ? Surely, Jesus’ obedience trumps Adam’s disobedience? Restoring mankind’s position to rule and reign. Restored so He is living in us and through us. Is this the Grace we do not quite understand? That He chose us? Without our mental ascent? Without our heart’s agreement? His decision? You can hear Him.
Imagine a Person stepping inside you so that you have an upclose personal relationship with our Creator – our Father – our God – one where He never leaves you…never forsakes you…because He breathes inside you and through you- answering your deepest questions through a whisper, a nudge, a thought, an audible word, or through the mystery of silence. Heaven coming to live in you through The Son. You are alive. You are not dead. You can be born again. You can hear Him yourself.
Don’t allow dark ignorance depersonalize The Most Personal, Relational, Loving Person of all time. Look up. See The Man. See God. See The King. Embrace the kingdom. You are a son or a daughter of your Father’s kingdom. God yet Friend. Master yet Brother. Complete Authority yet not controlling you. Freedom to cultivate relationship with The Most Powerful Being from time without time.
When the son ran away from his father to spend his inheritance – it says he came to his senses and planned his way back home. His thought process was to present himself as not good enough to be his father’s son and be hired as a servant. Did the the son lose his identity when he went away to squander his inheritance? What else? I see that he also left the presence of his father’s love, acceptance and affirmation. The son may have returned out of ‘need’ but his father received him back as family with no questions asked. Once a son – always a son – behavior does not determine bloodline. You may have lost your way but HE has not lost you. You were never lost by Him. You are found. Seriously how would Almighty God lose His own son? Like He doesn’t have eyes to see his location or ears to hear his thoughts? So what’s the hold up? You can hear Him.
Could Father be waiting for you to wake up to His Love and acceptance and affirmation… that you are His – always have been and always will be? Church may not be your safe place but Father has a ring for your hand, sandals for your feet, food for your sustenance and arms open wide because you are not a servant but His son. You can hear Him- Love-d
Have you ever known someone who was so broken that their expectancy was zero? I have felt like that before myself and it was a horrible season of not trusting myself, others or God. I was so downtrodden by my own mistakes that I did not expect faith.
I did not expect trust or reliance. I was lost inside myself. Though my Father was right there inside me with great expectation as He talked to me about living life, I could not hear His voice because I had no compass for believing He would talk to me when I felt like my life was nothing.
I want to encourage you today to expect faith.
Hope in God again. Hope in people again. Hope in yourself again. Hope in the sun coming up again.
Expect faith my friend. Expect yourself to trust again. See yourself in your own mind standing up and taking steps.
Every time you sit in a chair – you expect it to hold you.
Every time you set your alarm – you expect it to wake you.
Every time you brush your teeth – you expect those bristles to work.
You DO know how to trust – you just don’t realize it looks and feels as mundane as getting up or breathing air or sitting down.
Expect again my friend.
Breathe in a fresh idea of expectancy.
I see Life is inevitable and then there is life again.
Well, so I feel like I am experiencing what my mom experienced when she was dying at my age (57). I don’t like it nor want it but am not sure how to proceed other than to write it out.
I had dental surgery a few weeks ago and my body is still reeling – from the impact of an infection (still making its way out of my body) from the impact of the sedation (still making its way out of my body) and the dehydration I had already experienced before the tooth was ever removed.
Since January or so, my esophageal sphincter has been stuck open (I am retraining it to be closed through a chiropractic help). The gastroenterologist was of no help as they only offered a pharmaceutical to soothe the acidic reaction. But the sphincter is getting triggered by either food, emotions or something ..unsure… event? Frequency?? Do not know. Did this happen to my mom? How did she pass through this season of her life?
My body is lower than the low acidic levels and so I’m working on monolithic eating with high alkaline causing foods. It is slow. It is a choosing with intention what I put into my mouth and a choosing with intention to eat it until it is mush in my mouth. I need the nutrients.
I remember Mom losing weight. I remember our last Christmas. I remember her weighing 118 pounds and I am at about 128 pounds right now. I have lost from 148 til now since about December/January… this is 2020 now…. Was that what happened to her?
My body is hungry. Was she hungry?
Was she unable to eat?
Did she feel misunderstood? Unnoticed?Uncared for? Alone?
I remember my dad leaving her at home alone as he went out on a date with a friend’s mom. I found it disgusting then. I did not understand his unkindness.
Now I see his selfishness.
And I see how out of control he felt at not being able to stop what was happening to his wife of 36 years. Now, I have compassion at him feeling powerless. I see.
I also remember him swearing to stop smoking when she was diagnosed which did not last long – he still smoked in her face.
I found that disgusting too. Now, I see his nervousness and how incapable he felt to care of his wife. He was a man’s man from surviving Pearl Harbor and other wars to living through raising 4 daughters … but this caring for his wife? This was different. This was painful. This was deep and this was where the rubber met the road. I see.
That was 1981.
It is 2020.
Is this cellular memory for me? A twisted cellular frequency? If so, what triggered it? Why are these strange and odd incidents happening? I have no idea.
Is God revealing all of this to me?
Unsure. But it is revelatory.
I am fighting to trust and believe this is not my time to die. It feels silly to even be thinking it yet that is what is on the tip of my lips. Wow. It is an intensity I have never known.
Was she wanting to live? Choose life.
I remember asking why she was going to do chemotherapy and radiation.
Her response? It is my chance to live. She chose life. I see.
She wanted to see me grow up, get married – she wanted to live her days to see grandchildren – which there was only one and I’m thankful to know that niece today though her mom/my sister has passed away into the next realm. She wanted to see all her daughters succeed and she wanted to be part of our lives. She loved us. She was special. She was my best friend. She wanted life.
I have other issues I dare not share right now. So, I’m relearning how to live it seems. I’m learning how to eat it feels like for the first time. I see.
Bone broth is my friend.
So are green beans, asparagus and water. I love water. I love life.
I’m on a journey and you are too so don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.
I’ll be updating soon on food, restoration and life – life – life.
Until soon friend with an update and much love with life I see – Donna Reiners
Exchange STRUGGLE for STRATEGY. I have been in a struggle for years. Sometimes it was strife filled but no longer. Now, it’s life fillled. Listening. Daily. Struggle for strategy. This is the key. So, what’s your struggle? Mine has been health? Maybe yours is something else? Family. Responsibilities. Parenting. Adulting. Gambling. Porn. Workaholic. Alcoholic. Crises after crises. Under planning. Over planning. No planning. No miney. Too much money. Stress. Strife. Competition. Stubbornness. You name it.
WE have to see how to maneuver through these days and exchange our struggle for strategy.
I’m getting new thoughts. New ideas. New ways. New processes. A fresh start to hear and see. I’m exchanging my struggle for strategy…
You can receive a strategy to depart from that thought into a new thought, It’s not too late… It feels too late in some areas but it makes me press in more to hear and understand…so don’t give up… Love-d
Forgiveness is a real experience. I know someone whom I unintentionally betrayed. When I saw it and received that Truth from God, I was able to eventually sort through the issues of the why and the what and then – well – then I talked with the man and the woman. Do you know what they said? Well, that explains why “such and which” won’t return my call. Then, they both without hesitation and with full honesty said, “I forgive you” and they actually meant it.
How do I know they meant it? They did not treat me any differently after I exposed myself and shared with them what happened. They literally hugged me, supported me, loved me, encouraged me and laughed as if – it never once impacted them – although it truly did in ways I probably still do not understand. They talked about flesh and how we all are learning and we all are changing and that I needed to move forward and not be tormented by it. This was several years ago and they still treat me the same. I’m still welcomed in their home and they still refer others to me and they still hug me and text me and acknowledge my presence in their lives. Forgiveness.
They had already forgiven before they were confronted with a need to forgive me or anyone else. They lived and live from a deep place.
They are mature. In that place of maturity, I experienced a deep healing inside me when they not only forgave in that moment of my confession but they continued to value me in the days and years that followed. They maintained relationship with me as if that incident had never happened. Forgiveness.
They are kingdom like no one I have ever known. They paved the way with an honesty from the cross nobody (but one man who has already passed) had ever demonstrated to me. I see them do this consistently with others as well. I was not their first rodeo nor will I be their final one.
This I know – as long as you have relationships with others you will experience being thrown under a bus, humiliated, not appreciated, not paid back, not thanked, not loved, not apologized to and not understood. Also, as long as you have relationships you will experience being loved, watched over, thanked, appreciated, valued, loved and forgiven.
As long as the kingdom is always sought first and as long as that kingdom is not about “me, myself and I” then this Christ Whom we believe and trust and desire to know will have His way and be glorified through you and me. Forgiveness is the King’s domain. It is a place where we are supposed to have dominion and we can only have that kind of dominion through experiencing and exercising His life here with ourselves and others.
I’m still so thankful for their example of living as Christ on the planet and not just “talking” about living as Christ on the planet. Forgiveness is an action Jesus took and it is one we too can take. Reconciliation and humility and transparency and love is found in relationship and it can be for the long haul for those who choose that road of Life.
Can you imagine treating someone as if they had never hurt you? Never betrayed you? Never talked poorly about you? Never abused you? Forgiveness.
For you who are formulating why you think this is not every case – I’m not saying go back to that man who beat the hell out of you. I’m not saying trust that woman who threw you out of that vehicle. I am not saying it is okay that man or woman committed or are committing adultery.
But, I am saying if we cannot acknowledge where we wrong or misunderstand others – if we cannot love that person as they never harmed us – then it is highly probable we have not forgiven them as Christ has already forgiven us. It is a strong indicator of a heart that is not loving fully or being loved fully in an area of life. These are the lessons in life I consider and chew on and work out with Him. HE is so faithful to let us be honest instead of pretending and HE is so faithful to confront us with honesty too. Pondering from the deep.. My friends if you are a deep well and want to write a book – check out this free training. I did this and have not regretted it! Just click on the link and let me know my friend!! https://vt226.isrefer.com/go/aaevtrng/donnareinersignited/
Have Joy. You don’t get it all together all at once or at one time. Sometimes, it can be a lifetime to figure life out. God does not condemn your meanderings. Be not regretful. Be not stressed.
Take the good and the bad and all the in between and count it all as experience. Let Love pour over you not unbelief in you or God or others. Dream and take action in your dreams and let the chips fall where they may. You might need help launching you, your business, your health, your life or your work. Have Joy while on the way …
Just learn how to ENJOY every step you take whether it is cleaning your body, your house or someone else’s body or house. Let your setBACK be a setUP to a new beginning instead of a bummer or drag that it did not go according to your plan. Oh the Joy.
Let JOY define each moment not anger, naysayers, sickness or pieces that want to rob your progress.
Encourage yourself friends. Encourage yourself in your decisions both short term and long term. Remember it is not over and it is okay. Find Joy.
Update on a bizarre day. First thank you to the kind friend who brought me an oil blend to help the sinus and jaw/head pain go away today. It would have worked if it weren’t for operator error …
Second thanks to my husband who did not panic as his wife started crying from the burning pain in my eyes from oil dripping into both eyes. I am thankful Craig lead my blind eyes and body to the shower so I could thoroughly wash with Johnson’s Baby shampoo until my eyes no longer burned. He was brave.
I thank Jennifer for thinking quickly and getting coconut oil INTO my eyes to wash the burning oil out of my eyes… who knew?? Girl… that was gold. She was brave.
Thank God I was not alone to look for my phone with both eyes shut while crying from the burning wintergreen and other strong oils…which are not to be placed in our eyes 👀 but I guess I did not think through the oil part too well.
Thankfully people thought quickly. Thankful I did not have to call 911. Lately I have been on the receiving end while facing challenges with fresh transparency and a new perspective of authenticity.
Interestingly, I have also been encouraged to hide weaknesses … keep everything upbeat! Think positive! Meditate it all away… after all it worked for this person and that person so just do what they do … I get that too and don’t get me wrong – I’m a leaner into amazing, positive and all being well and I believe … we can all be brave.
I am also learning that keeping it real is more honest than avoiding what is painful, ignoring what is uncomfortable or just pretending that everything is hunky dory when I’m in the process of my progress.
Instead of disassociating or compartmentalizing, I’m learning how to be brave while facing adversity … Loving myself through complications. Living with myself as others drop off for healthier “friendships.” Honestly that’s okay – loving one another when life is all good is easy but it is that whole rubber meets the road thing. I’m having to love at a distance while embracing wellness and letting others figure out how to be brave.
Its interesting really – to be in another vital season of bravery as we move forward in calculated ways. One way I moved forward was in writing a book that got published in other parts of the world. It was a dream come true for me. If you have a book or story inside you – check out this free training on writing your own book. Blessings to you! https://vt226.isrefer.com/go/aaevtrng/donnareinersignited/
See you on the way to the other side – wait – maybe we are brave already …