What a day and being real. I definitely understand why people drink. Torment causes emotional distress. You know what else causes emotions to rise above the water level? Hormones.
I wonder if King David had hormone issues. That man had some strong ups and downs. If you did not know better you would think he wasn’t “saved.” Not unlike me or maybe even you?
Or are you the quiet one who keeps your emotions so silent that nobody would ever guess you are sad, distraught, depressed or just ticked off? Ya keep that smile in tact? Ya keep those positive messages rolling hoping they will touch your own nerve maybe?
Thankfully it’s not a blow up on you thing. Wait. I take that back. I did that the other day. Poor husband. Mercy on him. Mercy on me. And to the doctors we go my friend. Did I mention hormones?
Curiously I was the one in my forties who thought a simple change of mind, some positive oooohs and ahhhhs and a prayer or two would be the kiss that made all those booo boooos all better. Humbly I submit my heart to you if we have known one another the past 30 years … if I did that to you – my deepest repentant apologies.
Poor King David. He had some definite emotional issues. Paranoia. Fear. Run away. Shut down. Depression. Despair. … hey Davie I feel ya! Being Real.
Thankfully he was forgiven and so am I AND it’s not Fathers heart I sink in oblivion into nothingness and let life pass me by. I’m getting help. Yep. A doctor. #Medical. Ouch. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do …😍😍♥️♥️
A couple months ago God spoke to me through an encounter in my dream life. A friend was with me and she was talking about … can you guess?? Her hormone doctor … funny how Father tells us in Philippians 4 to not be torn in multiple directions but to focus and The answers will be made known to us through Christ Jesus … it doesn’t say over night … it gives no time frame friend. It’s a trust pathway … into the unknown to find the known … Until soon friend. If you are privately feeling condemned because you feel clueless and can’t get breakthrough on some basic mental health issues … maybe you should think outside the box and get a holistic option … a medical evaluation … a homeopathic angle … or something in between … and in the mean time? … don’t be mean to yourself if you snap, rattle or roll but instead … lean in to hear solution before the stress takes it’s toll … Being Real. Love-d
My husband told me last year that he really wanted me to start writing about my how my emotions were impacting my life and I realized I was in a new day and I needed a new strategy.
I thought he was crazy because I help others in their emotional demise and so why on earth would anyone be that transparent regarding a field others come to them for help with?
Also, last year, I had an encounter with a publisher who in my dream time, called me on the phone and invited me to publish a book. How on earth?
All these clues about writing yet reluctance became my friend instead of paying attention to what I’m hearing in my own two ears.
Over the past year and a half, I have had some physical changes which have caused me to question my sanity and sometimes my existence.
Yep. Been strange. But then, new day – new strategy.
It has taken me almost a year to break free of the fear of writing authentically about what I feel and experience … because I have not wanted anyone to think I’m crazy.
I’m finally in that place of I don’t care so here goes.
Today, I go in for a second brain scan to determine if I have had any positive changes since the last one. Oxygen has not been getting to my brain … for almost 20 years. What do I need? A new day – new strategy.
And I wondered why my body broke down?
And I wondered why my emotions hit a wall?
And I wondered why I felt I was going crazy?
And I wondered … well … you probably don’t want to know everything I wondered.
Since I do not believe in a dark night of the soul – suffice to say – I’m in a new place in my life regarding relationships (not many), faith (stronger), trust in society (less), loneliness (richer and stronger), family appreciation (stronger and deeper), fear of dying (still dealing with this one) and… the list goes on…
I realize that I’m simply having a season not unlike yours where you are finding out your weaknesses are your greatest strengths and how God wants you to mature in your weaknesses not shrivel up and die from them. Husbands. Help. Hormones.
So, that is what I’m confronting these days – my inability to just snap out of it and rock on like I used to … I’m literally having to stop. I’m having to slow. I’m having to be alone. I’m having to breath in and out with greater intention. I’m having to look at things like hormones and oxygen to the brain and cell life and water and… friendship with myself and humanity. I’m having to literally say no to just going out and be happy to remain at home with nothing but my paintbrush because anything more makes me want to cry. New Day – New Strategy.
Pretty confident I am not alone in the changes taking place. I’m almost positive you – my precious reader – have been undergoing strong changes and you are stepping into your greatest hour of discovering just what you too are made of.
Don’t give up.
Remember God looks at everything and is not as compartmentalized as we are and HE has solutions for things we think are hopeless and HE is more practical than we think He is as well… like…if you are cold…put a sweater on or use a blanket … if your car is out of gas – fill it up … like your physical body has issues so pray about this for 10 years with zero help and watch it fall apart because God is not healing you … WAIT… I mean… take some practical steps friends in determining what they hey and partner with Him for life and living…
In case nobody has told you lately – I love you.
Go look in the mirror and tell yourself you love you too..
Until soon and though you may not have a husband – and though you may not need help and though you may not have hormones making you crazy – you may have something else looming… Let Father show you and lead you into His love and kindness as you figure it out with Him. New Day – New Strategy.
Blogger, Friend, Emotional Support
Grace is the Way.
I hate dribble.
I’m not good at small talk.
You can be in my house with the lights on and wonder if I’m even home.
I’m also the friend who shares deep within five minutes of meeting you and you will either run the hell away from me or decide I’m the friend you have always wanted and stick around.
I experience most of the first option.
That’s okay. Authenticity is not common. I’m not common.
My friends are few.
I’m not popular.
I used to be super religious in my stance giving God no chance other than to do life my way.
Also, I made the mistake early on in my walk with God to give my life to building up the church and upholding what the pastor taught and again giving no leeway for God to live outside the church cause you know… God isn’t interested in you unless you’re a Christian.
Wow. I was clueless and limited my belief to my own wisdom instead of His.
I have changed.
My circle is small but my God is big and though God can dribble with the best of them …I still cannot..
Maybe you can do small talk and nobody knows your pain cause you keep that happy fake smile on your face …
So, though i hate dribble – I don’t hate you and I don’t want you to hate you either. So, how about this? You choose to NOT give up on you… cause I’m not gonna stop believing in you … ever.
It’s been a season among seasons but are we changing or clinging?
Learning to trust Them with our situations. Hearing Their voice. Doing our part in practical ways.
Serious situations arise where we have a need for someone else’s expertise. So, we go to the doctor for perspective and listen for His voice. We sell treasures for bills as we listen for His voice. We choose pathways of life as we listen and respond. We jump with trust and then we realize we may have jumped too soon or too far. We don’t jump at all and miss the ship that was sailing. Or did we? Are we changing or clinging?
We stand in the street and wonder if we will survive what we must face. In the midst of letting go of what once held such great value, we realize our own worth has shifted. We have less treasury but have more treasure. What we loved twenty years ago has emotional ties but no longer is the heartbeat of my daily life.
Yet, we keep holding on to that way of eating or that material object or that attitude to reinforce our fear of tomorrow… or to avoid facing our private pain … or to sabotage from self hate. Oh it’s subtle. But it’s delay into a new you. Is is because we are changing or clinging?
We realize how fortunate we are to share space with the person we sleep near and we hear His voice of Love. Our assignments can seem foreboding yet can we climb those thorns and find the comfort inside the sweet smelling rose? Can we truly unconditionally love that one near us? Can we love ourselves?
Are we changing? Or are we clinging to what used to be the road we walked?
It could be – after the dust has settled – we will find that what we thought was impossible to say goodbye to is the actual entry through a new door. It might be that the lessons we learn as we change will be beautiful and our hearts will be more tender and our love will flow more purely…as we say goodbye to the past and hello to the present. Oh that we will be changing not clinging.
This is a reprint from earlier this year. Love- Donna
Have you ever NOT wanted to open your door, check your mail or go outside when the sun’s up?
Maybe your personal insides just want to stay in the dark and relish the pain you feel?
HEY! That’s not good for you and I’m here to take you from choosing dark to life.
Now, you know that even if it is a gray gloomy day outside that there is a sun shining up in that sky right?
It is time to take authority over your own atmosphere my friend.
Imagine if you will a full on sun that is shining inside through your walls and into your hall and piercing into your roof. Embrace it. Let it pierce into your soul.
Decide now, the Sun’s up and you can be up too.
Don’t give up my friend.
Don’t turn to the left or right looking for it all to end.
Instead, let the warmth of the sun call you into life.
Let the reality of your darkness bring forth the light.
The Sun’s up – grab hold – take a deep breath.
Breathe in and out and then do it again.
I love you – maybe you forgot and think you are alone.
But it is a lie – hear my kind tone.
You are important.
You are alive on purpose.
Be Braver my friend – the Sun’s up and you can be too..
I’m not you. You are not me. We are different on purpose. There is a Process. The way we live, move and have our being will look different. We are not made from a cookie cutter. How we hear and how we see and how we approach life and we live it will be different.
The process of relationship with Him, self and one another. I’m pondering our differences as a human race as I think about how He lives among us too. Setting my mind on things that are above and not on things that are on earth is a process for me personally. Learning to listen. Inclining my ear to hear His thoughts and ideas about Himself, others, myself and life. Different.
It’s been a lifelong process of relationship – leaning His way and then stopping to find Him leaning my way. I’m thankful for every moment He has granted me the honor of living, loving, being loved. It’s a journey into Him and into His continual mercy, forgiveness & grace. The journey includes the mistakes not just the successes. I love the way Paul talked about counting it all as loss just to know Him. He knew the journey. We are in union with the One Who does not condemn our wrong turns. Instead He draws us further into His definition of Love. He also doesn’t put so much emphasis on our right turns either because it’s not about the right or wrong when it is about relationship. Prices Different.
Righteous is different many times than right. Deep inside my bones, it seems our emphasis is misguided. Love is the focus but what does that look like? I read a lot about Love. Yet, how we experience Love is a different matter. Experiencing the embrace He offers takes courage because His Love is unconditional and has no secret strings attached; it has no hidden agenda. HE already knows. Everything. Nothing is hidden from Him. Listening to Him. Listening to one another. Listening to what is said as well as what is not said. I remember listening to what my sister Mary Ann did not say. It held weight. It held depth. Loving to love. Being Loved. It’s an exchanged life. Just being. Loving. Being loved. Letting Him steer you personally as His hands, His feet and His heart in service in our private world as well as on the earth. Different.
Every person offers something different from Him and through Him while representing Him. I’m soooo thankful to Him for how He thinks outside the box to live as Love through us in our time here on the earth. What an interesting life. Sometimes I’m standing at a crossing wondering how to proceed. It’s a journey with Him. Sometimes I’m standing with a friend at their crossing while they wonder how to proceed. It’s not just you and not just me. It’s also with one another. It’s a journey into Him. It’s also a journey into one another. Process different.
Being Loved by Him and Loving one another. I’m in awe of His miraculous kindness. To let us learn how to be while He leads us into becoming. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with Him. Be patient with others. Loving as well as being Loved is a process. Learning how to love and learning how to be loved is a process. It takes time. That’s ok. Working through the process IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional love for us IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional Love for one another through us is also part of the journey. Private. Public. Different.
It’s living in Him, with Him, through Him and as Him…what a journey. What a process as we are different.Love-d
We process from a different space. We process our pain from a different Place – the Person of Christ processes our hurt and pain with us – not outside of us. ***Get with Him. Get with Them. Get with the Source of our Strength – our Life – our Love – our Eternity – our Foreverness – get with THOSE WITHIN you and me and then LOVE those around us with power and strength and compassion and life and understanding. Process
THIS is our inheritance – we have confident expectation through living and dying that we live…and then we live again. Oh how this Reality is more real today. Will we settle in the pain? Process.
Oh, it will feel almost like you are betraying yourself or the one you want to honor but is it? Have we trained ourselves to grieve as the Law allowed? Have we trained our emotions to believe we must not only embrace sadness and depression but then remain there to honor the one who has gone from us or to honor those remaining? Emotions are strong. They want to keep us immature and in the will of the flesh and the will of the law of condemnation and sin. But is this our inheritance?
Pondering our loss today of our beloved brother and friend who lived to speak the Truth and to mature us in our races of Love and Being. I’m forever thankful for his life here with us and hope to encounter his life amongst us as I process.
Sometimes that is all we lack. We want to step into something different or new. We want to be “that girl” or “that woman” or “that success story” yet it feels fleeting. Why? Confidence wins and many times we feel like our lack weighs more than or strengths. Insecurities run us off the road and we wonder what truck hit us. What are we thinking? This I know – when someone or something or some circumstance is so glaringly pounding me into the ground and I feel insecure or feel as if I have no right to feeling like I’m safe – I can now stop and reevaluate. in this recalibration time, I figured it out.
When my insecurity buttons are being pushed – more than likely and almost consistently it is because that person I’m dealing with is being pushed around by their OWN INSECURITY buttons. Oh yes… this is my key and your key dear one. Confidence won.
First – the Confidence that the power of the universe – that One – Who created you and lives inside you is confident and already won our insecurity battle. That alone is gold. Second – when you can step into THAT GOLD confidence and that strong alignment of already winning – you can be the one who says YOUR Confidence won.
Is it a one stop shop and its all good and you can rock on? Not normally but this I know. The journey to finding your confidence is worth it. If you make it an adventure and not a destination – if you make it a trip of winning along the way instead of who wins the race – then you will ENJOY even the moments when you feel lack because that place inside you where HE lives will be the space where HE reinforces the Truth – His confidence won and yours does too.
Until soon and much love – d