Sometimes that is all we lack. We want to step into something different or new. We want to be “that girl” or “that woman” or “that success story” yet it feels fleeting. Why? Confidence wins and many times we feel like our lack weighs more than or strengths. Insecurities run us off the road and we wonder what truck hit us. What are we thinking? This I know – when someone or something or some circumstance is so glaringly pounding me into the ground and I feel insecure or feel as if I have no right to feeling like I’m safe – I can now stop and reevaluate. in this recalibration time, I figured it out.
When my insecurity buttons are being pushed – more than likely and almost consistently it is because that person I’m dealing with is being pushed around by their OWN INSECURITY buttons. Oh yes… this is my key and your key dear one. Confidence won.
First – the Confidence that the power of the universe – that One – Who created you and lives inside you is confident and already won our insecurity battle. That alone is gold. Second – when you can step into THAT GOLD confidence and that strong alignment of already winning – you can be the one who says YOUR Confidence won.
Is it a one stop shop and its all good and you can rock on? Not normally but this I know. The journey to finding your confidence is worth it. If you make it an adventure and not a destination – if you make it a trip of winning along the way instead of who wins the race – then you will ENJOY even the moments when you feel lack because that place inside you where HE lives will be the space where HE reinforces the Truth – His confidence won and yours does too.
Until soon and much love – d
Hope is used some many times in a weak or timid way. Yet, hope is a strong word. Hope is a powerful word. Hope has great meaning. It is weighty. It is meaty. You can have hope – great confidence – expectancy – you CAN have trust when you can’t seem to trust yourself.
I have lived a long time now and see those years when I was so clueless (oh, I still have a few moments” and when I felt so insecure and had nothing to look forward to. Basically, I was wrapped in a swirl of false identity and had no trust for myself. I saw decisions I made – one after another fail until I felt like a complete failure of the biggest kind. Sadly, lived this way for a long time. I ran a very long time and at the time, I don’t think I knew I was running. I ran because I did not feel like I could trust myself.
Now, I get it – though I could not trust me – I could still trust God. Always, Hope says I trust God.
And now, I also get this other strong and deeper truth. Inside me was this God who I did not know lived within. I had no idea He loved me so much that He chose to live inside of my deepest failures, strongest anger or stormy nights.
I see now that I may not can always trust me – Hope says I trust God.
Hope says I’m Patient.
Your confidence – your expectation – can be raised. You do not have to live short of courage or strength. You can be steady. You can be tolerant of your own shortcomings. You can love yourself. You can learn how to be patient with the person who should be your closest friend – yourself. You can lean into joy and into peace. No more do you HAVE to be unkind to you and impatient with yourself. Listen, loving you and being patient with you is critical to your true and real life … the real you deep inside. Maybe you exercise self control with everyone but you – maybe you keep it together and are nice to your environment but when you look yourself in the mirror you lose all consciousness of kindness. WHOAH. Stop friend. True hope says I’m patient.
You get to be patient and kind and loving to you too. Say it with me, “I’m patient.”
If you practice this kindness and this response long enough and repeat this action of warmth and love long enough with you – it will become who you are and not just an action to take.
It is almost funny really when you think about the actual word impatience. IT says, I’m Patients.
A patient is usually someone in a hospital being cared for by others because of a physical or mental issue isn’t it?
So, you be your own patient. LOVE YOU. Care for you! This love and care will spread to those around you.
Practice these words, “I’m Patient.”
Hope says I will pass through.
Even so, most the time, it feels like a standing still and a sinking down and a gonna drown kind of season. Drudgery and Dreadful thoughts meet me when I think I will pass through. I have to stop and give myself a moment to consider and reconsider and recalibrate the infinite possibilities of stepping out from that place of defeat.
I will pass through.
I say it again – I will pass through.
Hope says I will pass through this valley and then move up the mountain. YES! This is the true voice of expectation and strength and confidence. I have to see myself painted with confidence to maintain the image that will help me stay in peace. I will pass through.
Listen, I know you may be watching others give up. But you can’t give up.
I know you may be watching strugglers straggle. But, you can’t straggle.
You get to make a new decision in the midst of others deciding. You do not have to lean into the voices in their heads.
No, you keep yourself in trust and confidence.
With confidence, say it with me – I will pass through.
At the risk of making you the reader mad – Let me be the minority voice and have my own little ruckus because I’m an unknown woman who grew up on the wrong side of the track whose daddy owned a worm ranch and you know how fun that was to be known as the family with the worms whose nickname was Sewage… You and I both walk this same earth. Yes, I am white so go ahead and presuppose now before you read onward cause I’m sure it’s gonna make somebody mad…cause you know…that seems to be the preferred emotion this day…you know…to get angry instead of a change of mind or actually have a conversation face to face versus on facebook or this device where we do not see the pain in each others eyes and we stay clear of any kind of true compassion for the life we have lived or are now living.
WHY does the sickening hate in American continue to be about racism and not identifying the true issue?
Historically, it seems here in America, we stop and cling to the word racism every time there is any kind of violence against a non-white and then the nation riots (not the first time) and then we have an outcry against racism. If a stand against racism were the answer would it have been resolved by now? The issue is identity in all colors and not just white. We live on this same earth.
Violence was not how Martin Luther King handled his life – that man is a man who crosses all denominational and all economical and all color boundaries. He demonstrated dignity and literally changed society…He knew who He was and Whose. He paid a price for it. He was fearless.
My goodness – Why do you suppose we do not develop past our own skin color? Yes, AGAIN, I acknowledge I’m still white and now some may be protesting from non-white skin and say something like this: “You don’t know what it is like to walk in my shoes…or my mom’s or grandfathers or …….onward…. And you don’t know what it was like to walk in mine either. This country is IMMATURE IN developing respect… for just about anything really when you think about it…. We all want to shift blame to somebody else for why we have a lack of identity. I see the disrespect in the mom for her role as I see her ignore her child while on her phone every single day when she walks the kid around the corner. I see the kids next door completely ignore instructions from their parents. I almost get hit by cars thinking it is cool to race down the highway in rush-hour as they endanger all of us in their competition. I see an entire family including kids on their cell phones at dinner ignoring one another. These are all colors and all ages and all economics. Disrespect for one another is learned. Respect is learned. But lack of love is probably at the core root.
You are right – I don’t know what it was like to walk or what it IS like to walk in your shoes. I was bullied as a kid and as an adult every single day (not tarred and feathered) but continually hit and continually made fun of and was poor and paid for vacations with bottles my parents found on the side of the road so part of me has had some issues maybe some of you did not have…
I grew up under the leadership of an earthly father who felt hitting was the best way to communicate his love language. I grew up with kids who ridiculed me daily and I hated myself with a vengeance most my life… What I experienced is not the same as any-color racism –
ALTHOUGH at the time it tore me apart and almost took my life many times in my lifetime….
Racism is found in all cultures across the globe – cultural prejudice within and outside of all sorts of sects and family lines and cities and nations including inside America.
Yet all of us walk on this same earth.
And honestly, it seems to be white people who stop whatever they are doing to jump up and down to come to the defense of racism more than anyone – is it guilt? Do we want to be popular? Do we want others to think well of us? Do we want more friends? Do we really want to make a difference? Why is the cry for racism only during riots and bloodshed?
If it was really solely a race issue – do you think it could have been resolved by now?
Are you really convinced race is the issue?
COULD it be deeper than race…deeper than skin shade…?
I just wish we had a true strategy to solve this sickening emotion/hatred.
I’m thinking we as a nation – a people – all over the globe – don’t know who we are and we don’t know WHOSE we are and we don’t acknowledge we have the exact same color blood and we breathe the exact same air and we have the same organs. We won’t consider that we all came from the same Spirit and we all return to the same Spirit after we leave this same earth that we all walk on together.
Instead, we use emotions as our excuse for actions and behavior
that belittles, reinforces, dishonors, angers and rules atmospheres…separates, divides, shifts blame and takes blame.
I was thinking today that it is ironic to think the one rioting may be robbing their heavenly neighbor?? Sad to think the one prejudice against that other is having attitude with someone who holds God Already living inside them and living alongside of them and will see them in the next place of existence…until then – we all walk on this same earth.
It is not just us white people who don’t now who we are – it is every color as we walk this same earth.
Screwed Up MESS is what is happening folks.
End of my rant.
Have a great day.
Make a non violent rumble will you?
Let your voice be heard.
But let it be a voice for humanity and not just your section of humanity… because right now we are ALL focused on this one thing…in unity to stop something that we won’t stop by using all these little posts and antics of poopularity…………. 🙂
Be mad. When we are mad, we stop being kind to others AND ourselves…
because that is how the emotion of hate – separation – division – works…
hate is an inside job that shows up on the outside…
If I were not white would you still be mad for me writing this?
LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE THE ANSWER.
Love is an inside job.
Where is our Wisdom as an entire people?
NOT A PASSIVE LOVE.
NOT A COMPLACENT LOVE.
BUT a Union in Love from Love with an origin from ABOVE Who may even live inside of you (even if you have turned to hate God or Higher Power or WHATEVER/WHOMEVER You call the one who gives you breath and blood) So, are we fighting amongst our own brothers and sisters? WHEN REALLY we are all really one color…. ?? Something to think about as we walk this same earth.
Interesting to think we have the same Father … we were all birthed…
You have thoughts? I would love to hear some response from love not hate. So, if you don’t know me, you won’t hear compassion, you won’t see the tears, you won’t care about my heart that cares…
Have you ever known someone who was so broken that their expectancy was zero? I have felt like that before myself and it was a horrible season of not trusting myself, others or God. I was so downtrodden by my own mistakes that I did not expect faith.
I did not expect trust or reliance. I was lost inside myself. Though my Father was right there inside me with great expectation as He talked to me about living life, I could not hear His voice because I had no compass for believing He would talk to me when I felt like my life was nothing.
I want to encourage you today to expect faith.
Hope in God again. Hope in people again. Hope in yourself again. Hope in the sun coming up again.
Expect faith my friend. Expect yourself to trust again. See yourself in your own mind standing up and taking steps.
Every time you sit in a chair – you expect it to hold you.
Every time you set your alarm – you expect it to wake you.
Every time you brush your teeth – you expect those bristles to work.
You DO know how to trust – you just don’t realize it looks and feels as mundane as getting up or breathing air or sitting down.
Expect again my friend.
Breathe in a fresh idea of expectancy.
Hope says to Love yourself without limits. Love yourself. Yes, I am clear. Love yourself.
Listen, one thing I know is I have made a bucket filled with mistakes. I have made people mad. I have disappointed others. I have unknowingly betrayed and been betrayed. I have lived in pain and fear and dread and thought I would die. Nobody said – love yourself.
I was directed to love God. Yet, loving God was not my answer. Don’t shoot me. HE already loves me. YES, I need to love Him. But, if we love Him … that does not mean we love ourselves. So, I’m telling you right now in the midst of all the junk going on in your private world where nobody sees and you don’t want anybody to see – love yourself.
Being loved by God is the way to finding the key to loving yourself.
It took me years to embrace the reality that Someone would Love me unconditionally without getting cleaned up or perfect. People wanted me perfect. I got beat upside the head countless times as a kid for not doing anything right. I get it. I never felt good enough because those family members and friends did not feel good enough either. Love yourself.
It is possible. I did it. It took what seems a lifetime but I did go through the process to determine my own worth and my own value in the midst of others not loving me. Whether you start young or old – learn to love yourself. One day at a time – love yourself.
Take yourself on a journey. Take yourself by the hand and woo yourself into true unconditional LOVE FOR YOU.
Guest Writer – Sandy Lee Nelson – GRIEF is NOT an emotion that only comes from death. Social Media is flooded with posts about how one can never know or comprehend grief until you lose a child, or until a child loses a parent, or until you lose a husband or a wife, or an entire family. Those who say, think and believe this are incorrect.
Grief does not ALWAYS come from death. Joy comes in the morning.
Grief KNOWS me. For many, many years my grief was buried deep, deep inside of me and it would visit me and devour me like a Brown Recluse Spider bite devours your skin. It was a deep dark secret that I kept on the inside. It robbed me of my childhood, my teenage years and a good portion of my adult life. It not only robbed me but it robbed my family as well. I KNOW grief.
The grief I am speaking of was passed down generationally thru our family’s bloodline. I did not choose it. It was chosen for me. I came into agreement with it and entered into it when I was conceived. It was with me on the day of my birth. It became part of what I thought was my identity. Yet, joy comes in the morning.
My 65th birthday is approaching and I have spent some of this pandemic time reflecting on where I have been, where I am now and where I am going.
I am so blessed that somewhere along my life’s journey I was awakened to the presence of my creator. I have a loving Abba Father who is in the restoration business. Even though I couldn’t feel it. Even though I couldn’t see it. He was constantly working on me. He was continually reaching inside to the deepest, darkest depth of my soul and revealing this grief to me. He walked me thru the process of self examination. He showed me my selfish, self righteous self. He gave me time to see it, admit it, repent of it. He watched me lay it down. He made sure that I didn’t leave any bitter roots behind. He restored that place with His Joy and I learned joy comes in the morning..
Oh…my carnal brain can and still does go back there sometimes, but He is always faithful to remind me that WHO I am now is not WHO I was then.
Yes. Joy still comes in the morning! Hope still walks with the hurting. I am alive and breathing and I Praise The Lord!
Seriously, I know it is hard to find a message in a pile of dirty clothes, a garage full of crap, an attic with your past or a relationship gone wrong. However, every mess has a message.
It is finding the message – it is finding clarity in the midst of confusion – finding strength in the midst of weakness – finding yourself in the midst of the voices. Finding Truth in the fear.
Being quarantined will bring everything that is out of whack into glaring clarity. It’s an intentional time to be purposeful with what you see around you. Every mess has a message.
You might feel overwhelmed your life is a mess or the need feels so great.
Take one thing at a time. Do what you can to be intentional. Use what you have. Take care of your own business while you can… because this will end and then the mess you did not take time for now gets to live longer…
Ideas: clean out your closet, gather old clothes for give away, clean out attic or garage, clean bedroom or bathroom. Organize kitchen cabinet.
The list goes on. Or maybe you have avoided something for years and now it’s time to tackle it?
Today I’m perusing old papers and organizing a file cabinet. I’m confident that mess will hold a message for me too.