Braver Saturday – Do less with more focus. Do what you must while on the way to where He is taking you. Sometimes you spend a long season cleaning up the messes from past decisions. That’s okay. It’s part of the journey, Jesus is with you. That’s the whole Purpose – that He is with us…as you faithfully take care of issues that just cannot be ignored anymore – those things that niggle at your mind like a simmering pot on the stove – whether legal, mental, emotional, spiritual, physical or financial …over time…as you handle X y z you eventually get to that place of strength and humble beginnings…where you can focus on less and accomplish more. Do less with more. So, don’t be afraid to finish what you started. Look, there really are seasons where you can’t walk away from your past because it’s facing you each morning to remind you to follow up and follow through on what was begun…keep chipping away and trust Him each step of the way. Stay filled up with His presence and His courage as He walks with you….and He will direct you – focusing one day at a time ..it WILL GET YOU THROUGH the darkness and you WILL SEE less problems and more solutions. Don’t give up!! Don’t turn back!!! It’s gonna be okay. Eventually, you will move out of what you do and it will move you from all you know into who you have become and that’s when you see it….those obstacles and those fearful decisions were all part of shaping and molding you into the courageous person you have become… Do less with more focus and over the process of time, you leave what you know to step into who you have become. #blogger #faith #church #kingdom #anxiety #anxietyquotes #mentalhealth #fitnesss #gym #life #bebraver
Fearless Friday- Why don’t you be the light in someone else’s darkness? As believers we justify walking out life alone because Jesus had friends unwilling or unable to stick with Him. We spiritualize loneliness saying our ‘need’ or someone else’s need should only be for Him. Perhaps we should heed His admonition to His disciples to remain awake? Perhaps this is an example of how we can be friends with others. Once someone begged me to be their friend. The intense need this woman had was unbearable. Over time I watched her blossom and bloom through our friendship. She never became dependent on me for her source of happiness. She just needed some light in her darkness so she could find her way out.
In the family of Christ we should be healthy & mature enough to be friends with others. We should not have to beg for relationship with one another. Is it possible we should see the need of isolation as significant as shelter, food, or water? A possible breeding ground for suicide, sickness & bitterness may be lack of relationship. So, why don’t you light up someone else’s darkness? You might gain a lifelong friend. Love, d
Can’t Touch This…
A video to see if you don’t like to read OR a video to see WITH the read…
This is the deal. We have an entire generation (this is NOT age specific) of men and women who think they are impervious to aging or needing others or mishaps that take your life into another direction than what you are believing God for…you know…that million dollar job where you are care free or that dream vacation life where you have zero responsibilities…not to mention marrying this person or that person and spending all your precious time with someone who may not have the stamina to love you if your bowels loose on them. Let me just say that money does not buy you happiness and does not turn back the wheels of time. Sure, you can slow down the wrinkles, draw back the skin, remove the fat and basically redo your body from top to toe but it does not make your insides healthy. Remember that song…I think by MC Hammer???, “Can’t Touch This…”
Life happens people. Life DOES touch us…You can either yell about it and bitch and moan and complain (I know I said the B word and I’ll probably get a WHOLE lot of flack) or you can put your big girl/boy undies on and face reality and live life as it comes to you instead of avoid it like the plague. It is our response to our life that determines our futures with one another. I saw a lady at the pet store yesterday who was talking about having to care for her 85 year old mother who is still mobile but living with her. She was not bitter and I was thankful but I could tell she had not yet grabbed hold that God had entrusted her with her mom and that it is her honor to love her on this side of heaven. For those who have walked with me for a season, you may remember the passing of our sister Mary Ann who needed a great deal more than I was physically capable of providing – she lived in a nursing facility. I saw her frequently and I gotta say it was inconvenient many of the time since she was 45 minutes away. However, it truly was an honor to love her while she was on this side of heaven and now that she is no longer available to touch, call or hear, it is amazing how UN-inconvenient she really was in real time. I can’t bring her back and it never worked…this whole attitude of can’t touch this.
What are you doing with the ones who live with you or are your aging family members or aging friends? You NEED TO TOUCH THEM! I remember Dad and how he needed our love as a family and how we leaned how to honor him and how God changed ALL OF US in the process. Honor is an action word and it sooooo encouraged my dad to BE LOVED!!!! It also encouraged us to love him. Tomorrow does not always come. Aging. Do I mean someone in their 80’s? No. I’m saying look around for goodness sake. Do you have a mom or a dad? Do you have a step mom or a step dad? Do you have siblings? Do you have aunts and uncles? Do you have nieces and nephews? What about friends who you consider family? How about your neighbor? When is the last time you loved them face to face? Watched a movie with them? Had dinner? Laughed over some jokes? Held their hand? Hugged their neck? Wiped their behind? Yes, I went there…don’t worry…you will survive.
It’s time to love while it is still called today. #BEBRAVER – Love is an action word. No you cannot run all over tarnation (my mama used that word when I was a kid.) BUT you can look into your life and see one person whom you can love. She or he may be in your same house. Don’t ignore those closest to you and don’t run away from the ones you want to run from….may be that there is a strong life lesson OR a whole lot of love in that person for you…if you can look through their tone and look into their need AND IGNORE that whole feeling of can’t touch this…
We all need each other.
Might as well start now.
send to a friend………
Until next time – much love,
So, I was talking to a mom the other day who never sees her grow up adult kid. Now, I know this mom and they spent lots of time being there for their kid when they were young – all the sports games – took them lunch when they forgot it – took them their books when they so forgot them in the car – made sure the uniforms were clean – got them back and forth to school, to games, to friends, to…well…you name it. Fast forward – kid is now in the 20 something age. Guess what? Kid is soooo busy becoming a mature adult that there is no time to visit parents who are still alive and cognizant of their name and presence. This is not maturity – this is selfishness and lack of consideration. I’m calling it immature boundaries.
Side rant – maybe your parents were selfish and were not there for you AT ALL……..I’m sorry………but you still get to mature and be the better person………
Back to point – If your parent or those that represent your parents have to ask you to visit them…then maybe you do need a reminder. If you have a parent nonchalantly asking to see you – maybe you need to employ a little thing called HONOR and get your butt over there more often and spend time with the one who spent time with you doing all the things you wanted to do when you were a selfish little kid whose life was ALL ABOUT YOU.
Ok – so perhaps you have left your safe nest and live on your own and think you have the right to live however you want. Really? You think they took the right to live however THEY WANTED when they went to every one of your games, got your hair cut, clothes purchased, etc..?? Listen…I know a dad who told me…that’s just part of it. Really? Letting a kid who now is on their own and paying their own bills run all over you and not willing to do a simple task for you is not supposed to be part of it.
Seriously…the parents may have had better things to do but they felt the better thing was to do for the kid.
Now I want to tell you my mom died when I was 17…..it would be an honor to have a time to be with her now..in her 90’s. I’m gonna want someone to love me when I’m oldER. How about you?
So, word to the young one – whether you are 20 going on 10 or 30 or 40 or 50 or ……you get the picture – How about you be mature and plan time to give back your own time, energy, finances and resources. Why don’t you choose this time to grow up….instead of thinking you are all grown up and you should not have to do anything you don’t want to……….like an immature child…why not try giving back…..you never know…you might even find your parents are your best friends….maybe not all the time…but hey…be who you wanted them to be even if they can’t be that yet…or ever. Be the bigger person. Always. Refuse to have immature boundaries.
And if your heart is just not into it and you just cannot fathom going to see your parents or those who consider themselves as your parents then I got to say…………….you NOT seeing them……..is worse than their behavior because what they did in ignorance – you now do on purpose.
Nothing but love for you – but its time to #BEBRAVER and LOVE on purpose.
Until next time……..
I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries – we got books galore on the subject. We teach people how to have them, how to keep them and how to teach others how to have and keep them. So, I get it – some people get on your nerves. They push your buttons and they tick you off and you are just sick of it or maybe they are one of those who manipulate and control you with their words of guilt, loneliness and need. So, to keep yourself from getting mad at their obvious blind spot of sin and witchcraft – you employ this amazing BUZZWORD: Boundaries.
Really? So, maybe you just don’t know how to speak the truth in love OR they can’t receive the truth you speak in love. Maybe. I hear you.
OR you just don’t like your buttons pushed. How about that? How about you are so busy pointing the finger to that person or that church or that group or that old person or that young person….wrapping your thoughts about how they dare to try and tell you what to do or manipulate you into visiting them or helping them or whatever……you are soooooooo busy thinking how wrong THEY ARE and how BLIND THEY ARE that you are BLIND TO YOUR OWN WRONG DOING. Oh yea.
I went there. I went there with me first. Now I go there with you.
I have a short video for you to watch before you read my blog……………its a sneak peak into today’s BUZZWORD BOUNDARIES
Back to my ranting – so, this is what I think and you can spit in my eye if you want. I think MOST….maybe not all…but most the time we implement boundaries to protect our own little hot buttons….to protect that area we have walled off as forbidden territory…to protect….to keep our anger in a fortress whereby no one can enter unless they have the magic words (RAPUNZEL LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!)…………OR protect our sadness or mourning or grieving….so as to keep it inside where nobody knows we are in pain. Face it. When we help a person who cannot help themselves and it only brings up emotions of the last time we helped a user…I mean a helpless person….it just makes us think we are being used.
But are we?
SURE WE ARE!!! Jesus was used all the time and you and I are in really good company….HE says to live like HE lived…
If someone brings out the worst in you…………..THEY AIN’T THE ISSUE. If it’s not in you – it won’t come out REGARDLESS OF who they are or what they do to you. IF IT’S IN YOU……………….THEN THAT’S THE REAL DILLY BOB.
So, my advice? Not that you asked for it…but since you did……………when someone makes you mad or sad or you feel manipulated or controlled or guilt ridden???? Instead of cutting them off with your flesh driven protect myself from killing them or myself boundaries and making them the problem or the cause…how about making a fresh observation on your own character and your own issues and your own undealtwith problems?
The real deal is that if you are able to be manipulated – that’s not their bad – that’s yours. The real deal is that if they can cause you to feel guilt or condemnation – that’s not their bad – that is yours. You get to thank GOD HE is revealing to you something about your spirit or soul that would otherwise not be known…had it not for that precious friend who pushed all your flippin buttons.
SELAH. Quit blaming others for what’s inside of you. When you create boundaries just for boundaries sake…ask yourself…are you protecting YOU or protecting that part of you that you don’t want coming out…cause you embarrass yourself when you yell, scream, get angry or frustrated or cry. Listen…we are all in a test. Its the HOPE test. If you are truly HOLDING ONTO PAPA EXPECTANTLY then you won’t blow your lid or protect your rights……….you will instead run to the wilderness and spend time with God the Father and get filled up or REMAIN filled up. HOW ON THIS EARTH DID JESUS stay in relationship with His disciples? HE spent time with the Father…HE slipped away to be with HIM when nobody else was around….HE REMAINED filled so that HE COULD ALWAYS GIVE OUT WHAT HIS DAD WAS DOING AND WHAT HIS DAD WAS SAYING.
Question is – do you want to be like Dad and do the right thing……..or do you want to be like you….and never change.
Send to a friend…
Love you – until next time..
Recently, we helped a man move who is 80 and slow and has the beginnings of not thinking clearly or remembering very well. He upsets easily and he feels discombobulated most the time. Let me tell you – he is not ready for a nursing home and not nursing home is ready for him. He is still sharp enough to drive you crazy! He complains about everything and is grateful about everything all at one time. We have chosen to love. Love covers. Love is how God dealt with our ugly. So, we love him because we are not better than he is…just younger. Respect is what he wants. Respect is what he needs. We do not know his family…yet. He is a Jewish believer as of mid 2014. So, this whole LOVE thing is culture shock for him, not doubt. I want to encourage you to love yourself and love those around you. Its a new year. Its a new day. You get another chance to love and to change and to #BEBRAVER and learn how to love like Jesus loved us.
Pray with me:
I say Yes GOD. Yes. In Jesus name. Let it be.
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I grimaced the first time I needed to help my sister with her private washing. I can still see the disgust on my face (she did not but I felt my face and saw my ugly heart) and I wanted to wash my hands as quickly as possible though they had been covered with gloves. Yet at the same time I heard a gentle whisper, “You are revolted – yet she is humiliated more deeply than your little disgust.” I knew this was true. I’m confident when she was 20, she never dreamed of not being able to wipe her own behind in her latter years. We must love those who cannot help themselves – this is The Cover Up.
HE cover us. HE covers us with HIS great LOVE. Today, choose to #BEBRAVER and LOVE with your mouth and deeds. Be not quick to condemn others for their circumstances – sometimes life just happens. Be kind to them and be kind to you! Sometimes you don’t have to go to a nursing home to love someone who is a shut in. You may have someone in your apartment complex, down your street, etc… LISTEN to the Holy Spirit and let HIM guide you and show you how to love. Don’t be afraid to love people you already know…
Pray with me:
Join me in an effort of love and kindness in every day life and when life happens to you or to me, perhaps the love and kindness we gave will come back as our friends. And if you were not kind or loving in early days and now find yourself alone, it is not too late. God is faithful. HE does not condemn us or throw guilt into our hurting hearts. Just tell Him, “I’m sorry Father. I did not know. Now I know. Help me. I want to be a friend and I want a friend. One person at a time. I receive Your forgiveness for my own selfish life. I forgive myself. I release those whom I feel are to blame and I say YES to You LORD. I ask You to lead me in Jesus name. Let my love cover others as I love them into You and let me not be part of the cover up!”
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To be continued…
I remember the smell of baby powder as I walked into the nursing home. It was an overwhelming scent. It was as if someone poured an entire container of it into a corner so that the odor of the powder would overcome the smell of sickness and urine. The cover up.
Have you ever walked down a hallway and looked into the eyes of those who simply stared back blankly as if you were a wall? You imagine waving your hand over their eyes just to see response. Are the lights on? Is anybody home? You have to choose not to be dissuaded by a blank gaze that is the cover up.
If you will make your visit with that one person not about you but about them then the task is not as difficult. Your ears won’t be shut by your own offense. You see, the truth is that those looks from the seemingly empty hearts are really an almost audible voice whispering loudly from the heart of God, “Will you take a moment to say hello to Me? Will you shake My hand and just pretend you respect Me? Will you simply stop long enough to look Me into the eye and demonstrate that I once had significance? These once giants wait feebly and intentionally at the thresholds of their rooms with zero interest on their face – yet it is a test for you and for me. What they really want is a smile or a kind hello. They want you to say their name with joy and recognition as if they are your closest friend though maybe you have never met them and maybe you won’t ever see them again. Most don’t give you the satisfaction of showing any facial change when you do stop because they don’t want pity – they want genuine interest. They want to know if you can see through the cover up.
We must decide to love no matter what the smell, the look, the response. It is not easy. But, it is God’s way. HE loved us even when we said no AND HE loves us now even when we say no OR act like we are saying no. Let’s LOVE and then maybe …through the impact of one smile at a time…one hand shake at a time…one eye contact at at time…one at a time will say yes to being loved by us.
Pray with me – God, help me to LOVE so that a world will know Your Love.
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To be continued…
Shut Into The Cover Up
Admittedly, when I first began to visit, I kept my eyes forward and my ears shut because I had no idea what to do or say. Also, I had no idea what NOT to say… to these older ones who had not banked on being shut away in their latter years. Slowly it dawned on me that they didn’t have a problem. I was the problem. I was a coward. Seriously. Every color and every culture and every malady seems to exist down those lonely well lit halls. As I faced my own fears….you know like the truth that I was afraid I would fail at loving them or saying the wrong thing and yet that was a lie and it was fear filled. So, I purposefully started to make eye contact with every man and woman sitting in the hallways. Soon, you learn how you can gently touch on the shoulder and who you should only smile at and who is ready for an actual hug. Also, I began to say hello and smile at the staff that cared for these shut into the cover up.
What do you do with this? How to live??
Pray with me – God, help me to LOVE and to be loved. Help me be unafraid! I want to learn how to love. I love You LORD!
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To be continued…