A long thought…

I’m not you. You are not me. We are different on purpose. The way we live, move and have our being will look different. We are not made from a cookie cutter. How we hear and how we see and how we approach life and we live it will be different. The process of relationship with Him, self and one another. I’m pondering our differences as a human race as I think about how He lives among us too. Setting my mind on things that are above and not on things that are on earth is a process for me personally. Learning to listen. Inclining my ear to hear His thoughts and ideas about Himself, others, myself and life. It’s been a lifelong process of relationship – leaning His way and then stopping to find Him leaning my way. I’m thankful for every moment He has granted me the honor of living, loving, being loved. It’s a journey into Him and into His continual mercy, forgiveness & grace. The journey includes the mistakes not just the successes. I love the way Paul talked about counting it all as loss just to know Him. He knew the journey. We are in union with the One Who does not condemn our wrong turns. Instead He draws us further into His definition of Love. He also doesn’t put so much emphasis on our right turns either because it’s not about the right or wrong when it is about relationship. Righteous is different many times than right. Deep inside my bones, it seems our emphasis is misguided. Love is the focus but what does that look like? I read a lot about Love. Yet, how we experience Love is a different matter. Experiencing the embrace He offers takes courage because His Love is unconditional and has no secret strings attached; it has no hidden agenda. HE already knows. Everything. Nothing is hidden from Him. Listening to Him. Listening to one another. Listening to what is said as well as what is not said. I remember listening to what my sister Mary Ann did not say. It held weight. It held depth. Loving to love. Being Loved. It’s an exchanged life. Just being. Loving. Being loved. Letting Him steer you personally as His hands, His feet and His heart in service in our private world as well as on the earth. Every person offers something different from Him and through Him while representing Him. I’m soooo thankful to Him for how He thinks outside the box to live as Love through us in our time here on the earth. What an interesting life. Sometimes I’m standing at a crossing wondering how to proceed. It’s a journey with Him. Sometimes I’m standing with a friend at their crossing while they wonder how to proceed. It’s not just you and not just me. It’s also with one another. It’s a journey into Him. It’s also a journey into one another. Being Loved by Him and Loving one another. I’m in awe of His miraculous kindness. To let us learn how to be while He leads us into becoming. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with Him. Be patient with others. Loving as well as being Loved is a process. Learning how to love and learning how to be loved is a process. It takes time. That’s ok. Working through the process IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional love for us IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional Love for one another through us is also part of the journey. It’s living in Him, with Him, through Him and as Him…what a journey. Love-d 

Do less with more


Braver Saturday – Do less with more focus. Do what you must while on the way to where He is taking you. Sometimes you spend a long season cleaning up the messes from past decisions. That’s okay. It’s part of the journey, Jesus is with you. That’s the whole Purpose – that He is with us…as you faithfully take care of issues that just cannot be ignored anymore – those things that niggle at your mind like a simmering pot on the stove – whether legal, mental, emotional, spiritual, physical or financial …over time…as you handle X y z you eventually get to that place of strength and humble beginnings…where you can focus on less and accomplish more. Do less with more. So, don’t be afraid to finish what you started. Look, there really are seasons where you can’t walk away from your past because it’s facing you each morning to remind you to follow up and follow through on what was begun…keep chipping away and trust Him each step of the way. Stay filled up with His presence and His courage as He walks with you….and He will direct you – focusing one day at a time ..it WILL GET YOU THROUGH the darkness and you WILL SEE less problems and more solutions. Don’t give up!! Don’t turn back!!! It’s gonna be okay. Eventually, you will move out of what you do and it will move you from all you know into who you have become and that’s when you see it….those obstacles and those fearful decisions were all part of shaping and molding you into the courageous person you have become… Do less with more focus and over the process of time, you leave what you know to step into who you have become. #blogger #faith #church #kingdom #anxiety #anxietyquotes #mentalhealth #fitnesss #gym #life #bebraver

Let His people Go

Braver Wednesday-Just because we disagree doesn’t mean we cant walk out life in unity. We each belong to God, not one another.So, be kind to everyone. Not controlling.

#bebraver let His people go. Love-d 

Divided Heart

Super Saturday-How is your mouth with those you hold dear? If tomorrow does not come with you and that person – how will you handle it? Will you be guilt ridden? Will you be filled with regret? Pain? Condemnation? If that is the case then you are a candidate for a new heart toward not just them but yourself and with God. Don’t go to sleep tonight without righting what has been wronged. Don’t allow yourself to have a divided heart toward yourself or others. EVEN if none of it is your fault.

Love, d 

 

Immature Boundaries

Immature Boundaries Donna ReinersSo, I was talking to a mom the other day who never sees her grow up adult kid. Now, I know this mom and they spent lots of time being there for their kid when they were young – all the sports games – took them lunch when they forgot it – took them their books when they so forgot them in the car – made sure the uniforms were clean – got them back and forth to school, to games, to friends, to…well…you name it. Fast forward – kid is now in the 20 something age. Guess what? Kid is soooo busy becoming a mature adult that there is no time to visit parents who are still alive and cognizant of their name and presence. This is not maturity – this is selfishness and lack of consideration. I’m calling it immature boundaries.

Side rant –  maybe your parents were selfish and were not there for you AT ALL……..I’m sorry………but you still get to mature and be the better person………

Back to point – If your parent or those that represent your parents have to ask you to visit them…then maybe you do need a reminder. If you have a parent nonchalantly asking to see you – maybe you need to employ a little thing called HONOR and get your butt over there more often and spend time with the one who spent time with you doing all the things you wanted to do when you were a selfish little kid whose life was ALL ABOUT YOU.

Ok – so perhaps you have left your safe nest and live on your own and think you have the right to live however you want. Really? You think they took the right to live however THEY WANTED when they went to every one of your games, got your hair cut, clothes purchased, etc..??  Listen…I know a dad who told me…that’s just part of it. Really? Letting a kid who now is on their own and paying their own bills run all over you and not willing to do a simple task for you is not supposed to be part of it.

Seriously…the parents may have had better things to do but they felt the better thing was to do for the kid.

Now I want to tell you my mom died when I was 17…..it would be an honor to have a time to be with her now..in her 90’s. I’m gonna want someone to love me when I’m oldER. How about you?

So, word to the young one – whether you are 20 going on 10 or 30 or 40 or 50 or ……you get the picture – How about you be mature and plan time to give back your own time, energy, finances and resources. Why don’t you choose this time to grow up….instead of thinking you are all grown up and you should not have to do anything you don’t want to……….like an immature child…why not try giving back…..you never know…you might even find your parents are your best friends….maybe not all the time…but hey…be who you wanted them to be even if they can’t be that yet…or ever. Be the bigger person. Always. Refuse to have immature boundaries.

And if your heart is just not into it and you just cannot fathom going to see your parents or those who consider themselves as your parents then I got to say…………….you NOT seeing them……..is worse than their behavior because what they did in ignorance – you now do on purpose.

Nothing but love for you – but its time to #BEBRAVER and LOVE on purpose.

Until next time……..

d

BUZZWORD: BOUNDARIES

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries – we got books galore on the subject. We teach people how to have them, how to keep them and how to teach others how to have and keep them. So, I get it – some people get on your nerves. They push your buttons and they tick you off and you are just sick of it or maybe they are one of those who manipulate and control you with their words of guilt, loneliness and need. So, to keep yourself from getting mad at their obvious blind spot of sin and witchcraft – you employ this amazing BUZZWORD: Boundaries.

Really? So, maybe you just don’t know how to speak the truth in love OR they can’t receive the truth you speak in love. Maybe. I hear you.

OR you just don’t like your buttons pushed. How about that? How about you are so busy pointing the finger to that person or that church or that group or that old person or that young person….wrapping your thoughts about how they dare to try and tell you what to do or manipulate you into visiting them or helping them or whatever……you are soooooooo busy thinking how wrong THEY ARE and how BLIND THEY ARE that you are BLIND TO YOUR OWN WRONG DOING. Oh yea.

I went there. I went there with me first. Now I go there with you.

I have a short video for you to watch before you read my blog……………its a sneak peak into today’s BUZZWORD BOUNDARIES

Back to my ranting – so, this is what I think and you can spit in my eye if you want. I think MOST….maybe not all…but most the time we implement boundaries to protect our own little hot buttons….to protect that area we have walled off as forbidden territory…to protect….to keep our anger in a fortress whereby no one can enter unless they have the magic words (RAPUNZEL LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!)…………OR protect our sadness or mourning or grieving….so as to keep it inside where nobody knows we are in pain. Face it. When we help a person who cannot help themselves and it only brings up emotions of the last time we helped a user…I mean a helpless person….it just makes us think we are being used.

But are we?

SURE WE ARE!!! Jesus was used all the time and you and I are in really good company….HE says to live like HE lived…

If someone brings out the worst in you…………..THEY AIN’T THE ISSUE. If it’s not in you – it won’t come out REGARDLESS OF who they are or what they do to you. IF IT’S IN YOU……………….THEN THAT’S THE REAL DILLY BOB.

So, my advice? Not that you asked for it…but since you did……………when someone makes you mad or sad or you feel manipulated or controlled or guilt ridden???? Instead of cutting them off with your flesh driven protect myself from killing them or myself boundaries and making them the problem or the cause…how about making a fresh observation on your own character and your own issues and your own undealtwith problems?

The real deal is that if you are able to be manipulated – that’s not their bad – that’s yours. The real deal is that if they can cause you to feel guilt or condemnation – that’s not their bad – that is yours. You get to thank GOD HE is revealing to you something about your spirit or soul that would otherwise not be known…had it not for that precious friend who pushed all your flippin buttons.

SELAH. Quit blaming others for what’s inside of you. When you create boundaries just for boundaries sake…ask yourself…are you protecting YOU or protecting that part of you that you don’t want coming out…cause you embarrass yourself when you yell, scream, get angry or frustrated or cry. Listen…we are all in a test. Its the HOPE test. If you are truly HOLDING ONTO PAPA EXPECTANTLY then you won’t blow your lid or protect your rights……….you will instead run to the wilderness and spend time with God the Father and get filled up or REMAIN filled up. HOW ON THIS EARTH DID JESUS stay in relationship with His disciples? HE spent time with the Father…HE slipped away to be with HIM when nobody else was around….HE REMAINED filled so that HE COULD ALWAYS GIVE OUT WHAT HIS DAD WAS DOING AND WHAT HIS DAD WAS SAYING.

Question is – do you want to be like Dad and do the right thing……..or do you want to be like you….and never change.

Send to a friend…

Love you – until next time..

d

Fight for Life

Fight For Life
Mary Ann far left. Sandy far right. Betty holding me.

Today, it is one year since I watched my sister Mary Ann in her big boy bed begin to make her move to heaven. I was by myself. My husband was out of town. No friends were to be found. My sisters had not yet arrived. My brother in law was not there as of yet. No pastors had come to visit. It was a divine time really – it was divine in that it was my assignment – God was with me and it was my privilege to be with her. I was supposed to be alone. Yet in that solitary place – I felt the Presence of His Strength, Guidance, Love and Mercy. His Realness was there upon me like a well fitted coat that provided all I needed in every moment. My other sister Sandy had been with numerous others as they had passed from life on the planet into their eternal home. She had held my mom’s hand when I was 17 as she moved to heaven. She had held our father’s hand in her own living room as he moved to heaven. We had surrounded her husband on the day his spirit moved to heaven. She had been with best friends when their spouses had died. She had cared for her husband’s parents and so on. Truly, you would have thought she would had been there for this move to heaven but it just was not her assignment. She had been through enough and it was simply my time. I knew it and I’m sure all my sisters knew it too – including Mary Ann who had looked at me with those trusting eyes before she slipped into an incoherent state.  Eventually, she became unaware of my presence as I prayed and cried and paced and questioned and asked and pondered and started all over again. Was it the end of life?  This was my question over and over and though I should have figured it out by then, I just had not figured it out. It was as if my spirit knew but my soul was slow to adjust. It had definitely been a fight for life.

The thoughts came, “How do you fight for the very life it is time to release?” It was perplexing. The thought broke into the silence of the sleeplessness. I did not even know how to let go. Yes, I believed heaven was real and do believe heaven is a real place. But, I had NEVER NOT PUT UP A FIGHT FOR LIFE.

Fight for Life. It rolled across my mind…over and over and over it spoke to me. It was a whisper. Then, it was louder than the voices around me. My mantra had ALWAYS been to fight for life. Yet, this felt different. Was there a time to let a life go? This was another thought. You would think it would be easy when you know the person you are loving is stepping to see The One Who Lived and Died for her. Yet, it was not so. I still wanted to fight for life.

It was intense, intimate and I recognized that this time it could be final. Fight For Life

Life comes and death comes as a process of life.

Sometimes the fight for life comes as a suddenly. You are in the middle of living your life coming here and going there and BAM you are stopped in your tracks. Everything gets put to the side and you don’t even have to think it through. You just know innately that some things at that very moment have little importance than does what lies in front of you. Fight for life.  Sometimes it is a process. Sometimes you are ready and sometimes you are not ready and truthfully even when “made ready” are you ever really prepared? Sometimes you want it now as in today and then, sometimes you wish tomorrow would never arrive. Even so, whether you are old or whether you are young – we have an opportunity to fight for life.

Sometimes it is personal – you fight for your own life or the life of a family member and then sometimes it is a fight you fight on behalf of a friend or neighbor.

While I was watching my sister and contemplating her life and the life she had lived and the life she had wanted to live – I looked at my own life and the life I had lived and the life I had wanted to live. At that moment, I wanted to be nowhere else but right there with her  – loving her and appreciating the time on the planet we had together. It had been an honor. I had learned so much walking life out with someone who had little to return to you. I remember how she would attempt to lift her head and try to talk but little could come out. Her complaint was being tired. She was not very cognizant and most the time unaware of my praying, crying, pacing and staring.  I was stumped. I had always fought for life and had many times fought for her life. So many times it seemed she would not make it yet the human body is more resilient than we understand. God put within us this uncanny ability to fight for life.

So, how do you fight for the very life you need to also release?

Fight for Life. These words change you, your perspective and it changes the lives of those around you.  Fight For Life

How do we fight for life? How do we live life? How do we release life? Seriously. These are the kinds of thinking that flow through my brain, my mind, my heart, my spirit, my thought life. One day at a time seems to be the only answer.

So, this is what we did – we surrounded her and loved her in this fight for life. We caressed her forehead and spoke our love to her into her ears.  We held her hand. We spoke hope into her ear and into her soul and into her spirit. We decreed HOPE for her brighter heavenly tomorrow.

I thought about what had passed and what was in front and realized that the responsibility and privilege of loving one another was crucial whether we are living for many years to come or leaving planet earth any moment. What does the future hold? Only God knows and only HE can put within us a fight for life.

I want to encourage you today in your position in life, in family, in community – to take an inventory of your heart.  

  1. Is your heart and mind right with those around you? In other words – are you IN offense….or maybe ON the fence in relationships? You know the enemy is a liar and his job is to kill – to steal – to destroy what God gives you to treasure and to hold near. Don’t assume you are “in the right” because your right can be very wrong in the eyes of the One Who desires unity with His friends. In other words if you are right with the wrong attitude – you too are in the wrong.
  2. How is your mouth with those you hold dear? If tomorrow does not come with you and that person – how will you handle it? Will you be guilt ridden? Will you be filled with regret? Pain? Condemnation? If that is the case then you are a candidate for a new heart toward not just them but yourself and with God. Don’t go to sleep tonight without righting what has been wronged EVEN if none of it is your fault.
  3. Lastly, we do not take any of this earthly stuff with us…..not even the body we live in here on planet earth. What is precious to you? Where do you spend your time? Maybe – just maybe – you might need to re-prioritize your time, your efforts, your finances, your life so that you can live with you when it is all said and done.

Pray with me – Father, we come in Jesus name and ask You to reveal by Your Spirit any wrong done that has affected how we relate to others including ourselves. We change our mind God. We sever this from us and command it to be under our feet once and for all. Show us how to approach others for restoration – even if we are not in the wrong. We ask You to forgive us Father for You paid the price for us to stay in right standing with You and one another. We receive Your forgiveness. We forgive ourselves. We forgive them God – we know who they are and we choose to forgive. Show us how to talk to them before its just too late and the enemy has his way. We release Your peace, Your forgiveness, Your mercy and Your restoration into us and those around us in Jesus name and with His resurrection power which no foe can withstand. Let it be. Let it be.

Let’s continually surround those we love with our time and effort. Let’s speak to one another our sincere love and appreciation and encourage one another when it is still today to not just give hope but be hope….for a brighter, heavenly…tomorrow whether we are still here on this planet earth breathing breath or we step into heaven after taking our final breath.

What to do between here and there?
©Donna Reiners

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Much love – until next time,

Donna Reiners

Fight for Life