Different

I’m not you. You are not me. We are different on purpose. There is a Process. The way we live, move and have our being will look different. We are not made from a cookie cutter. How we hear and how we see and how we approach life and we live it will be different.

The process of relationship with Him, self and one another. I’m pondering our differences as a human race as I think about how He lives among us too. Setting my mind on things that are above and not on things that are on earth is a process for me personally. Learning to listen. Inclining my ear to hear His thoughts and ideas about Himself, others, myself and life. Different.

It’s been a lifelong process of relationship – leaning His way and then stopping to find Him leaning my way. I’m thankful for every moment He has granted me the honor of living, loving, being loved. It’s a journey into Him and into His continual mercy, forgiveness & grace. The journey includes the mistakes not just the successes. I love the way Paul talked about counting it all as loss just to know Him. He knew the journey. We are in union with the One Who does not condemn our wrong turns. Instead He draws us further into His definition of Love. He also doesn’t put so much emphasis on our right turns either because it’s not about the right or wrong when it is about relationship. Prices Different.

Righteous is different many times than right. Deep inside my bones, it seems our emphasis is misguided. Love is the focus but what does that look like? I read a lot about Love. Yet, how we experience Love is a different matter. Experiencing the embrace He offers takes courage because His Love is unconditional and has no secret strings attached; it has no hidden agenda. HE already knows. Everything. Nothing is hidden from Him. Listening to Him. Listening to one another. Listening to what is said as well as what is not said. I remember listening to what my sister Mary Ann did not say. It held weight. It held depth. Loving to love. Being Loved. It’s an exchanged life. Just being. Loving. Being loved. Letting Him steer you personally as His hands, His feet and His heart in service in our private world as well as on the earth. Different.

Every person offers something different from Him and through Him while representing Him. I’m soooo thankful to Him for how He thinks outside the box to live as Love through us in our time here on the earth. What an interesting life. Sometimes I’m standing at a crossing wondering how to proceed. It’s a journey with Him. Sometimes I’m standing with a friend at their crossing while they wonder how to proceed. It’s not just you and not just me. It’s also with one another. It’s a journey into Him. It’s also a journey into one another. Process different.

Being Loved by Him and Loving one another. I’m in awe of His miraculous kindness. To let us learn how to be while He leads us into becoming. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with Him. Be patient with others. Loving as well as being Loved is a process. Learning how to love and learning how to be loved is a process. It takes time. That’s ok. Working through the process IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional love for us IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional Love for one another through us is also part of the journey. Private. Public. Different.

It’s living in Him, with Him, through Him and as Him…what a journey. What a process as we are different.Love-d

Process

We process from a different space. We process our pain from a different Place – the Person of Christ processes our hurt and pain with us – not outside of us. ***Get with Him. Get with Them. Get with the Source of our Strength – our Life – our Love – our Eternity – our Foreverness – get with THOSE WITHIN you and me and then LOVE those around us with power and strength and compassion and life and understanding. Process

THIS is our inheritance – we have confident expectation through living and dying that we live…and then we live again. Oh how this Reality is more real today. Will we settle in the pain? Process.

Oh, it will feel almost like you are betraying yourself or the one you want to honor but is it? Have we trained ourselves to grieve as the Law allowed? Have we trained our emotions to believe we must not only embrace sadness and depression but then remain there to honor the one who has gone from us or to honor those remaining? Emotions are strong. They want to keep us immature and in the will of the flesh and the will of the law of condemnation and sin. But is this our inheritance?

Pondering our loss today of our beloved brother and friend who lived to speak the Truth and to mature us in our races of Love and Being. I’m forever thankful for his life here with us and hope to encounter his life amongst us as I process.

Process with #DarrinBegley

#share the #Love

Quarantined in Confusion

Years ago, I was quarantined with a mysterious fever and deep cough. My husband took me to Urgent Care where it was clear I was not in my right mind. Delirious it seemed. What caused it?

What happened?

Quickly, the medical staff assessed my situation and gave me a breathing treatment.

A long one.

At first, I thought what is the purpose of this? I can breathe fine. Then, it was clear I wasn’t breathing fine. Pure oxygen was needed to bring me back into my right mind.

My right mind.

My right mind.

What is that exactly?

What is my right mind?

When I left the Urgent Care facility, I was not feeling better physically, but my thoughts were clearer. My right mind was found through pure oxygen.

The oxygen had moved through my body supplying much needed nutrients to my cells so my body could fight the bacteria or virus.

And this was my thought process. Quarantined in Confusion?

My right mind is when I am in UNION with CHRIST for His purposes alone. Breathing pure oxygen was the answer. Breathing Him in and breathing only Him out so HE is all that is within me.

I find this union when I lay aside all that lays on me to distract, to detour, to destroy me. Quarantined in Christ?

The problem was a slow infection unaddressed became clothes of distraction that fit really well. Clearly I had taken a road to detour with a quarantine in confusion.

So, there I was under a heavy blanket of yuck searching Him out for answers and solutions as to why I got there and how to avoid it in the future.

When you are in the yuck zone you sleep, drink water and sleep some more.

And, HE brought it all back to HIMSELF and pure oxygen.

It must be pure..to clean, to clarify, to align.

What if the calling is so clear, so concise, so obvious and so narrow that you just cannot see it? Quarantine needs a purpose.

Those were my thoughts as I peeled off another layer of distraction, detour and destruction in hopes to avoid a future delirium. This quarantine was some years back.

But is this day so different? Covid crazy chaos causing conflict and incoherency. The mixture of faith and fret furthering our confused quarantine?

Have you been distracted from pure oxygen? When is the last time you had a pure thought?

Have you been derailed into depression designed to destroy? Oh I have and it’s been a definite detour that has required strategy. Quarantine in Christ.

I’m coming out slowly but surely with Gods help, the prayers of friends and a wake up call to a new courage.

Have you been quarantined into Christ or quarantined in confusion?

Are you coming out?

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d

 

 

FDA food label changes??

https://www.fda.gov/media/138315/download

For those who care about food allergies and the like..

Blessings.. d

I See

I see Life is inevitable and then there is life again.

Well, so I feel like I am experiencing what my mom experienced when she was dying at my age (57). I don’t like it nor want it but am not sure how to proceed other than to write it out.

I had dental surgery a few weeks ago and my body is still reeling – from the impact of an infection (still making its way out of my body)
from the impact of the sedation (still making its way out of my body) and the dehydration I had already experienced before the tooth was ever removed.

Since January or so, my esophageal sphincter has been stuck open (I am retraining it to be closed through a chiropractic help). The gastroenterologist was of no help as they only offered a pharmaceutical to soothe the acidic reaction. But the sphincter is getting triggered by either food, emotions or something ..unsure… event? Frequency?? Do not know. Did this happen to my mom? How did she pass through this season of her life?

My body is lower than the low acidic levels and so I’m working on monolithic eating with high alkaline causing foods. It is slow. It is a choosing with intention what I put into my mouth and a choosing with intention to eat it until it is mush in my mouth. I need the nutrients.

I remember Mom losing weight. I remember our last Christmas. I remember her weighing 118 pounds and I am at about 128 pounds right now. I have lost from 148 til now since about December/January… this is 2020 now…. Was that what happened to her?

My body is hungry. Was she hungry?

Was she unable to eat?

Did she feel misunderstood? Unnoticed?Uncared for? Alone?

I remember my dad leaving her at home alone as he went out on a date with a friend’s mom. I found it disgusting then. I did not understand his unkindness.

Now I see his selfishness.

And I see how out of control he felt at not being able to stop what was happening to his wife of 36 years. Now, I have compassion at him feeling powerless. I see.

I also remember him swearing to stop smoking when she was diagnosed which did not last long – he still smoked in her face.

I found that disgusting too. Now, I see his nervousness and how incapable he felt to care of his wife. He was a man’s man from surviving Pearl Harbor and other wars to living through raising 4 daughters … but this caring for his wife? This was different. This was painful. This was deep and this was where the rubber met the road. I see.

That was 1981.

It is 2020.

39 years.

Is this cellular memory for me? A twisted cellular frequency? If so, what triggered it? Why are these strange and odd incidents happening? I have no idea.

Is God revealing all of this to me?

Unsure. But it is revelatory.

I am fighting to trust and believe this is not my time to die. It feels silly to even be thinking it yet that is what is on the tip of my lips. Wow. It is an intensity I have never known.

Was she wanting to live? Choose life.

I remember asking why she was going to do chemotherapy and radiation.

Her response? It is my chance to live. She chose life. I see.

She wanted to see me grow up, get married – she wanted to live her days to see grandchildren – which there was only one and I’m thankful to know that niece today though her mom/my sister has passed away into the next realm. She wanted to see all her daughters succeed and she wanted to be part of our lives. She loved us. She was special. She was my best friend. She wanted life.

I have other issues I dare not share right now. So, I’m relearning how to live it seems. I’m learning how to eat it feels like for the first time. I see.

Bone broth is my friend.

So are green beans, asparagus and water. I love water. I love life.

I’m on a journey and you are too so don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.

I’ll be updating soon on food, restoration and life – life – life.

Until soon friend with an update and much love with life I see – Donna Reiners

Grief is not good

Good Grief Charlie Brown! Tonight, we watched an oldie and what I used to think was a goodie – Race for your Life with Charlie Brown. I never noticed how entirely critical and mean those kids were to Charlie Brown. Peppermint Patty yelled at him numerous times. Lucy called him names. Sally complained every moment of the movie. There was another group of kids who created havoc for all of them. In addition, these kids were on an overnight camping trip with water falls, dangerous caves, and the like. Granted we rarely see adults in these shows but this time it felt ridiculous. Craig pointed this out to me multiple times. It literally was a frequency my body rejected. Grief is not good Charlie Brown..

It hurt my heart the more I watched it. Bullying, complaining, gossiping, unkind words, mean spirited kids and it was literally from the beginning to the very end. It reminded me of how I grew up. The time was 1977 and I grew up with that kind of culture. It was like the norm and it seemed acceptable. But, grief is NOT good.

Grieving yourself or others with unkind words, complaints, thoughts and innuendos that make it impossible to believe in yourself is not good. I was 14 years old and I was not treated nicely at school or otherwise. All it did was produce rejection, low self esteem and a fear of love. This picture is of my sister Sandy and me. We were from a very dysfunctional family who did not show love toward one another. We do now but we did not then and the influence of shows like this one is evident in how we treated one another.

Maybe it does matter what we watch with our eyes just like it matters what food we put into our mouth and it matters what we listen to with our ears.

Usually, I love the Charlie Brown movies because they are clean and have a good premise and you laugh. But, I did not laugh much this time. I’m a different person than I was in 1977 and I do not want to return to the person who felt it was okay to be ruthless and retaliatory. I want to allow the influence of Love to have its way and do its work in my heart and in my body. Grief is not good.

I pray today you will take notice of your words and thoughts toward yourself and others. Love is the way. Grief is not good. Love, d

Struggle for Strategy.

Exchange STRUGGLE for STRATEGY.
I have been in a struggle for years. Sometimes it was strife filled but no longer. Now, it’s life fillled. Listening. Daily. Struggle for strategy.
This is the key.
So, what’s your struggle? Mine has been health? Maybe yours is something else?
Family.
Responsibilities.
Parenting.
Adulting.
Gambling.
Porn.
Workaholic.
Alcoholic.
Crises after crises.
Under planning.
Over planning.
No planning.
No miney.
Too much money.
Stress.
Strife.
Competition.
Stubbornness.
You name it.

WE have to see how to maneuver through these days and exchange our struggle for strategy.

I’m getting new thoughts. New ideas. New ways. New processes.
A fresh start to hear and see.
I’m exchanging my struggle for strategy…

You can receive a strategy to depart from that thought into a new thought,
It’s not too late… It feels too late in some areas but it makes me press in more to hear and understand…so don’t give up…
Love-d

Take Joy

This little phrase is pouring through my mind – “TAKE JOY MY FRIEND – it’s not the end.”

Have courage with a brand new start.
Don’t let the naysayers have their way.
But command peace in your new day.

It is a choice you see to love and then
Another choice to live forgiven.

So come with Me says Christ in you.
I’m right here – I’ll see you through.

Take Joy.

I’m in you and you in me.
Freedom is yours in My intimacy.

It is not up to them to decide your life.
It’s okay – I took that knife.

You’re free to live My Life of Love.
I’m here, there, down below and above.

Oh you can run but you can’t hide.
I’m your Love – you’re My Prize.

Take Joy.

If you live in your hurt I won’t leave.
I’m still right here – trust & believe.

I’m with you for the long haul dear one.
I’m your Family – you’re My son.
PS- you and I already won.

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Don’t Be Afraid

If you are living, you will make mistakes in this Life journey – don’t be afraid.

The choice each day to live courageously or cowardly is right before us. Sometimes it seems darker than it is. I’m learning how to recognize the hesitation attached to fear versus the caution attached to wisdom. If you feel you might be in the fear driven, compromised zone then ask for wisdom. Don’t be afraid.

Asking for wisdom is a sure fire way to grow and mature and find courage. You’ll discover solutions to problems and strength to rise. I have a simple practical example for you. I had dental surgery in early March and my mouth took two additional weeks to heal. Four long weeks felt so slow and caused concern. My organs had been fighting infection from the tooth issue and compromised my immune system even more. It was physically challenging and my health was dim.

Now we are in May and my mouth is still awkward and sore. I noticed I was moving into fear. Whoah. Stop. I paused. I asked for wisdom. I asked for direction. Don’t be afraid was whispering into my ear and attempting to redirect my thoughts.

Then I saw it. I’m grinding that area of my mouth at night. I realize that’s why I’m sore. It’s my answer. It’s simple. It’s not anything bigger to worry over. The wisdom was seeing Truth instead of assuming the worst. The Truth is that I’m ok. Don’t be afraid.

If fear is needling you at night then switch gears instead. Ask for wisdom. God is gracious to extend it. Ask with confidence and wait with assurance. Answers will come. They may not come overnight but surely your footsteps will be directed. Don’t be afraid.

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a real experience. I know someone whom I unintentionally betrayed. When I saw it and received that Truth from God, I was able to eventually sort through the issues of the why and the what and then – well – then I talked with the man and the woman. Do you know what they said? Well, that explains why “such and which” won’t return my call. Then, they both without hesitation and with full honesty said, “I forgive you” and they actually meant it.

How do I know they meant it? They did not treat me any differently after I exposed myself and shared with them what happened. They literally hugged me, supported me, loved me, encouraged me and laughed as if – it never once impacted them – although it truly did in ways I probably still do not understand. They talked about flesh and how we all are learning and we all are changing and that I needed to move forward and not be tormented by it. This was several years ago and they still treat me the same. I’m still welcomed in their home and they still refer others to me and they still hug me and text me and acknowledge my presence in their lives. Forgiveness.

They had already forgiven before they were confronted with a need to forgive me or anyone else. They lived and live from a deep place.

They are mature. In that place of maturity, I experienced a deep healing inside me when they not only forgave in that moment of my confession but they continued to value me in the days and years that followed. They maintained relationship with me as if that incident had never happened. Forgiveness.

They are kingdom like no one I have ever known. They paved the way with an honesty from the cross nobody (but one man who has already passed) had ever demonstrated to me. I see them do this consistently with others as well. I was not their first rodeo nor will I be their final one.

This I know – as long as you have relationships with others you will experience being thrown under a bus, humiliated, not appreciated, not paid back, not thanked, not loved, not apologized to and not understood. Also, as long as you have relationships you will experience being loved, watched over, thanked, appreciated, valued, loved and forgiven.

As long as the kingdom is always sought first and as long as that kingdom is not about “me, myself and I” then this Christ Whom we believe and trust and desire to know will have His way and be glorified through you and me. Forgiveness is the King’s domain. It is a place where we are supposed to have dominion and we can only have that kind of dominion through experiencing and exercising His life here with ourselves and others.

I’m still so thankful for their example of living as Christ on the planet and not just “talking” about living as Christ on the planet. Forgiveness is an action Jesus took and it is one we too can take. Reconciliation and humility and transparency and love is found in relationship and it can be for the long haul for those who choose that road of Life.

Can you imagine treating someone as if they had never hurt you? Never betrayed you? Never talked poorly about you? Never abused you? Forgiveness.

For you who are formulating why you think this is not every case – I’m not saying go back to that man who beat the hell out of you. I’m not saying trust that woman who threw you out of that vehicle. I am not saying it is okay that man or woman committed or are committing adultery.

But, I am saying if we cannot acknowledge where we wrong or misunderstand others – if we cannot love that person as they never harmed us – then it is highly probable we have not forgiven them as Christ has already forgiven us. It is a strong indicator of a heart that is not loving fully or being loved fully in an area of life. These are the lessons in life I consider and chew on and work out with Him. HE is so faithful to let us be honest instead of pretending and HE is so faithful to confront us with honesty too. Pondering from the deep..
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Until soon with forgiveness – d.