Death in Disguise

The struggle with thoughts of #death disguised as #grief is real. Turn your thoughts to life even if it’s one inch at a time… it’s possible for light to turn on in a #dark place. Give yourself permission to live. Love-d

#love #coach #life #lifeisbeautiful #suicide #death #live #author #writer #mentalhealth #anxiety

There was a time…

IF you can relate – type I GET IT! There was a time many years ago when I would not sleep for #fear I would wake up dead.

There was a time many years ago when I blamed #sickness on disease. There was a time many years ago when I refused relationships for fear they would die and leave me alone.

There was a time many years ago when I agreed with doctors who said I would not live past 30.

There was a time many years ago when I agreed I would die like my mom.

There was a time many years ago when I felt you would not love me if you really got to ‘see’ me.

There was a time when I thought I would disappear into depression.

There was a time when I gave up and wanted to die.

There was a time…

There was a time…

There was a time…

But God.

I said, “But God.”

Yes, it sometimes required a #fight.

Yes, it sometimes required my will overriding overwhelming #emotions filled with #darkness and #despair.

Yes, it required me contending for life I could not yet see.

But God.

I said, “But God.”

So, my #friend if you have read until the end, I want you to know that overcoming that which wants to overcome you is worth it.

Knowing That One Who overcame the world and lives inside of you and lives inside of me is worth it.

And I’d do it again.

You – don’t you give up and don’t you turn back and don’t you give in to those #death filled thoughts and ideas. Choose life because Life chose you and you were and are worth choosing. But #God. I GET IT!! Share so that someone struggling about ‘there was a time’ will choose life. #REPOST Love-d

#coach #life #lifecoach #lifeisbeautiful #live #anxiety #mentalhealth #mental #health #christian #jesus #writer #author #church You are loved – Donna Reiners

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Changing my Focus

Braver Wednesday – it’s not as easy as thinking that whatever you think you will get. But what if what you are thinking in the negative will never come to pass? Then you wasted all that precious time thinking dreary dead filled thoughts. Let’s change our focus. Let’s expect something different. Let’s hope for more. Let’s enjoy where we are while on the way to where we are going. Love, D

Suddenly

Tenacious Tuesday – Suddenly. The news came. One day soon, his life will end. Harsh to the ears though it was spoken gently from the doctor. Still it’s a shock. Life seems brief. When you finally think you know how to rule your own life- your life is over on planet earth. Starting over. Live well my friend. Love well. Keep no record of wrongs. Be at peace. Make forgiveness a priority. It’s imperative as we prepare for the other side.  Until soon-d

Light up the Dark

Fearless Friday- Why don’t you be the light in someone else’s darkness? As believers we justify walking out life alone because Jesus had friends unwilling or unable to stick with Him. We spiritualize loneliness saying our ‘need’ or someone else’s need should only be for Him. Perhaps we should heed His admonition to His disciples to remain awake? Perhaps this is an example of how we can be friends with others. Once someone begged me to be their friend. The intense need this woman had was unbearable. Over time I watched her blossom and bloom through our friendship. She never became dependent on me for her source of happiness. She just needed some light in her darkness so she could find her way out. 
In the family of Christ we should be healthy & mature enough to be friends with others. We should not have to beg for relationship with one another. Is it possible we should see the need of isolation as significant as shelter, food, or water? A possible breeding ground for suicide, sickness & bitterness may be lack of relationship. So, why don’t you light up someone else’s darkness? You might gain a lifelong friend. Love, d 

 

The Piece Between Living & Dying

Tenacious Tuesday – End of Life. It continues to roll across my mind…over and over and over it speaks to me. First it comes as a whisper and then it is louder than the voices of those around me. Most certainly, these three little words have a stronger significance when it has to do with you or a loved one.
End of life.

It is intense.

It is intimate.

It is final. 

It is no respecter of persons as it comes to every single one of us. 

Sometimes it is sudden. Sometimes it is a process. Sometimes you are ready and sometimes you are not ready and truthfully even when “ready” are you ever really prepared? Sometimes you want it now as in today and then, sometimes you wish tomorrow would never arrive. Even so, whether you are old or whether you are young – we will each meet these three final words. 

So, let beginnings and endings be your friend. Be fearless in life and death. Let friendship with Living prepare you for dying and let God be the Piece that connects the two.

Until soon, d 

 

Life Turns Upside Down

Super Saturday – Some years ago, a closer than close friend was diagnosed with a disease called Multiple Sclerosis (M.S). She lives with her sister because the doctors said she could no longer work or drive. All of a sudden, her life was turned upside down. It devastated her to “not be able to do her job.” She took such pride in her work and was very good and respected in the work place. In a way, she got much of her self-worth from her job. After all, she spent at least 8 hours per day in the corporate setting and was paid “to do a good job.”  Can you relate? Now, to be released from those responsibilities and told she was “incapable,” was like throwing ice cubes in her face. Though her mind was slowing, her heart was, and is, still in tact. We sadly watched the changes that took place. Her thinking and reasoning changed, her short-term memory is minimal, her confidence diminished, her attention span dissipated, and her physical and emotional balance went off-kilter. Her caregiver took her to a doctor who specializes in Alzheimer’s disease and cognitive thinking problems. After a long battery of testing and prodding, he concluded it was “inconclusive” as to whether or not she had M.S. As a matter of fact, the test results showed her B12 to be so deficient that it could have killed her. Furthermore, in a meeting with neurologists and specialists, it was discussed how a severe B12 deficiency mimics the same results as M.S.  It eats away at the Myelin Sheath covering the nerves. The kicker is this – that a B12 deficiency could have been addressed. Could she have begun taking B vitamins?  Perhaps most of her brain could have been preserved? No one knows.  It makes you think though, doesn’t it? Could all or most of the distress she has gone through been avoided by taking a simple B vitamin? So, the effects are irreparable without a miracle. What were the options? Sue the doctors?  Dive into self pity? What do you do when your life appears to be brought to ruin, and then realize you could have stopped the devastation? What do we do when life turns upside down.

Until soon and much love,

d

Pick Up Hope

When Hope is removed, confidence and expectation are removed. Pick up HOPE again. Let HOPE reacquaint you with living. There are still promises left to come forth.stand to your feet! Breathe again! Live again! Love again! Open up your blinds. Go check your mail. Call someone up to say hello. Write yourself an an encouraging  note. Tell yourself that you ARE going to be okay and that you are passing through not standing still.

Get out of giving up and HOPE AGAIN!! Be confident again!Give birth to trust and watch your promises come forth!

TRUST AGAIN! I love you @donnareiners @bravetobraver

  

BeBraver ©Donna Reiners

Want to Die?

Want to Die? ©Donna ReinersYou have been on my heart for a long time. I have thought of you often and asked for you to be protected. I do not personally know you but sense you are miserable and have thought of ending your life. My question is, “Do you want to die?”

Somewhere along the line you decided God abandoned you. Love abandoned you. You want help but are terrified say or do anything about it. You don’t know who you can trust. Although you try to hide it – you see the pain each time you look yourself in the mirror. You are not sure how to handle your feelings. On one hand, you feel so exhausted that death is a welcome thought. On the other hand, you want life but feel you need someone to teach you how to live. You may not be able to tell the truth from lies. It might help if someone could help you make decisions….and kind of point you into the right direction. However, it is a wicked mess when  you think no one cares about you because after a while you convince yourself you have decided you no longer care as well. I know you wish you could stop feeling so hopeless, but it is not that simple, is it when you decide you want to die.

First, I just want to say that you do not have to give up. Second, I want to say that everything can be all right.  I would have said will be all right but some of it is up to you. Third, you need to really know that it is okay to have a desire to live. Perhaps you think no one will take time for you. Regardless of how you feel, you are important and someone will make the time. You are breathing and you have purpose you do NOT have to want to die.

Do you even know how to let someone into your private world? Do you even comprehend that you have purpose?

You may not comprehend what God is all about, but He still did what HE did for you. Although you feel you have no reason to live, HE has a reason for you to live. God Himself has a plan for your life. There is still time to find out what it is that HE has for you…even if it is one step at a time and one breath at a time.

Today, I realize we are all here to help one another live out our purpose. I remember a time when I thought about death. All the time. I never put a a razor to my arm or a rope around my neck but I felt alone and I felt desperate. Inside me, I felt like I needed someone to talk to and needed to know someone on the earth cared about me. I needed guidance in a practical way in order to live in the day to day world. I felt so needy. Helpless. Hopeless. It was humbling and I hated it. However, I decided I wanted to live and asked for help. It was not enough to hint that I needed help – some folks miss those cues. I had to be straight forward and to the point. Even then, it took some time but I did receive the guidance I needed to make a new decision and get up on my feet.

I am still learning how to live this life God gave me. It is a challenge but it is clear I have purpose and so do you.

Listen, you must give God opportunity to fulfill your potential. You do not have to continue to live out the lies of your mind. Allow someone to show you how to live in such a way that your feelings do not overwhelm you. It will require a new decision on your part but you can learn how to NOT want to die.

There is a part in the book that says, “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Today, decide not to make decisions based on your emotions. I’m sure you agree with me that feelings come and go and can lie. The Father of all of creation does not lie. Trust the process of turning to LIFE as you decide to NOT want to die. Say it with me – I choose life.

Until soon,

d

Darkness Closes In

Darkness Closes In

Darkness Closes In
TIME TO GET UP!

Such a strange day to witness the darkness closing in over the city while experiencing it in my own soul. What do you do when darkness closes in?

I’ll be honest with you – right this moment – I do not know. So, I’ve turned to my expression when the pen of a ready writer takes over. What does that mean? I write until I’ve processed and come to a conclusion that hopefully helps me and maybe even helps you when darkness closes in.

I’m in a place today where I feel nothing inside except a loneliness and seeping notion that I’m sinking. My mind knows the truth. My heart knows the truth. I know I’m not sinking… yet…it threatens to overcome my day and overcome my joy. Deep inside my bowels, could it be that I’ve not received this joy that rushes in with a steady constant when darkness lures me into captivity?  So, darkness does not come because I’m strong – it comes because I’m weak in an area that it can set its hooks into me. What an ugly thought if I do say so myself. With the sinister cloud hovering around me, I ask Him what to do as the darkness closes in. Have you even raised your voice to God? I did today and I think it is the first time in 22 years. I made a new step of honesty into God today as I was worshiping Him…but what came from my mouth was not worship but frustration. I ask myself and I ask Him why it is I continually come to a place where I feel I can step no more. Why do I come to a place where I feel no presence, no past and no future. Yes, I wrote presence in place of present. Its HIM I need – HIS notions – HIS confidence – HIS ideas – HIS emotions and HIS mindset. Somehow, I find myself here…once again…wondering what have I done wrong? Why do I stumble to the place of a brick wall? Here in this place, I feel I can go no further.   Will I be old and gray when it is no longer an issue and when I am no longer able to lift my head? Oh where can I find comfort when darkness closes in?

Standing in the Gap for you?

Is this you? Are you the one I’m praying for today that has found darkness to be your friend – to be your confidant and your strength? The darkness lies to you with the intent to keep you to itself. Darkness only knows the depth of not belonging…of not being wanted…of not understanding…and of feeling unloved and unlovely. BUT, this is NOT YOU…let me give you a glimpse of God’s love for you that is nestled inside some words I read many years ago. In a time of reading, God opened my eyes to see life from His perspective. HE told me that He had sanctified me and set me apart for Himself. HE told me that once I had been of darkness but because of what HE did (notice it was not me who did it)…because of what HE did – I was cleansed and free to forgive and be forgiven and to love and be loved. What is it that HE did without our help that could be so powerful as to forgive us and give us the power to forgive others?

A LIFE WE DID NOT EARN

Simply said, the Father of our planet, of the world and its inhabitants sent His only Son to live a life that we could not live so that we could have a life we did not earn…I say that to you dear friend – you are not of darkness – not because of anything you have done but because of what HE did…HE did something you and I cannot do…HE gave HIMSELF so that you and I can love and be loved first by HIM and then by one another. HE came with HIS marvelous light and shined this light into the world so that we can see the Kingdom of God! I challenge you today to come with me on a journey to love and be loved, to experience the light of the world!  In the video below, I’m praying for you and anyone you may know who is struggling to be free from the dark entanglements from the unseen realm…when darkness closes in.

The scripture where God showed me His heart for me was 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 – “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? (this does not mean heaven). Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”

WE WERE FREED WHEN WE WERE WRONG

Do you understand the power of this set of words from your Father? HE says HE has set you free and HE says HE has set me free by the name of the LORD Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. Yes, He said if we continue to live in a lifestyle that opposes His freedom, that we will not possess the kingdom of God….here on planet earth…HE is saying HE paid a price for you and me to be free WHILE we were living a WRONG lifestyle. Now that’s some goodness there!! It is Good News what Jesus has done for us precious friend. Let’s pray together, shall we?

John 15:13 – Greater LOVE has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. NAS

This is what God did for us my friend – laid down HIS life for us with  HIS love – HIS charity – HIS benevolence – HIS feast of LOVE. Hope you will join me as we go on a journey into HIS LOVE that freed us from our wrongs…Until next time – Love, Donna Reiners20140215-NDIP10129