Different

I’m not you. You are not me. We are different on purpose. There is a Process. The way we live, move and have our being will look different. We are not made from a cookie cutter. How we hear and how we see and how we approach life and we live it will be different.

The process of relationship with Him, self and one another. I’m pondering our differences as a human race as I think about how He lives among us too. Setting my mind on things that are above and not on things that are on earth is a process for me personally. Learning to listen. Inclining my ear to hear His thoughts and ideas about Himself, others, myself and life. Different.

It’s been a lifelong process of relationship – leaning His way and then stopping to find Him leaning my way. I’m thankful for every moment He has granted me the honor of living, loving, being loved. It’s a journey into Him and into His continual mercy, forgiveness & grace. The journey includes the mistakes not just the successes. I love the way Paul talked about counting it all as loss just to know Him. He knew the journey. We are in union with the One Who does not condemn our wrong turns. Instead He draws us further into His definition of Love. He also doesn’t put so much emphasis on our right turns either because it’s not about the right or wrong when it is about relationship. Prices Different.

Righteous is different many times than right. Deep inside my bones, it seems our emphasis is misguided. Love is the focus but what does that look like? I read a lot about Love. Yet, how we experience Love is a different matter. Experiencing the embrace He offers takes courage because His Love is unconditional and has no secret strings attached; it has no hidden agenda. HE already knows. Everything. Nothing is hidden from Him. Listening to Him. Listening to one another. Listening to what is said as well as what is not said. I remember listening to what my sister Mary Ann did not say. It held weight. It held depth. Loving to love. Being Loved. It’s an exchanged life. Just being. Loving. Being loved. Letting Him steer you personally as His hands, His feet and His heart in service in our private world as well as on the earth. Different.

Every person offers something different from Him and through Him while representing Him. I’m soooo thankful to Him for how He thinks outside the box to live as Love through us in our time here on the earth. What an interesting life. Sometimes I’m standing at a crossing wondering how to proceed. It’s a journey with Him. Sometimes I’m standing with a friend at their crossing while they wonder how to proceed. It’s not just you and not just me. It’s also with one another. It’s a journey into Him. It’s also a journey into one another. Process different.

Being Loved by Him and Loving one another. I’m in awe of His miraculous kindness. To let us learn how to be while He leads us into becoming. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with Him. Be patient with others. Loving as well as being Loved is a process. Learning how to love and learning how to be loved is a process. It takes time. That’s ok. Working through the process IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional love for us IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional Love for one another through us is also part of the journey. Private. Public. Different.

It’s living in Him, with Him, through Him and as Him…what a journey. What a process as we are different.Love-d

Process

We process from a different space. We process our pain from a different Place – the Person of Christ processes our hurt and pain with us – not outside of us. ***Get with Him. Get with Them. Get with the Source of our Strength – our Life – our Love – our Eternity – our Foreverness – get with THOSE WITHIN you and me and then LOVE those around us with power and strength and compassion and life and understanding. Process

THIS is our inheritance – we have confident expectation through living and dying that we live…and then we live again. Oh how this Reality is more real today. Will we settle in the pain? Process.

Oh, it will feel almost like you are betraying yourself or the one you want to honor but is it? Have we trained ourselves to grieve as the Law allowed? Have we trained our emotions to believe we must not only embrace sadness and depression but then remain there to honor the one who has gone from us or to honor those remaining? Emotions are strong. They want to keep us immature and in the will of the flesh and the will of the law of condemnation and sin. But is this our inheritance?

Pondering our loss today of our beloved brother and friend who lived to speak the Truth and to mature us in our races of Love and Being. I’m forever thankful for his life here with us and hope to encounter his life amongst us as I process.

Process with #DarrinBegley

#share the #Love

Coloring outside the lines

The only way to truly grow in your purpose is to begin coloring outside the lines.

Explore.

Discover.

Lean into a different space and trust.

It is a journey not a destination.

We forget because we want perfection.

We want others to think well of us.

We want our coloring book page on the refrigerator.

We want “them” to be proud.

So, we aim to please instead of aim to hear and have relationship.

We run from Truth and run to Information.

We are safer inside the lines where we are unnoticed and compliant when there is an adventure awaiting us both… out there… when coloring outside the lines.

Bless you friend,

D

It’s a choice

How do you personally get free from judgments if you always remind yourself and others of wronging or being wronged? It’s a choice.

Jesus wiped away all the wrong and being wronged. He chose.

Are we going to wipe away the memory of what He did on behalf of humanity? What happened to Him was atrocious.

So, His intention was forgiveness for all mankind.

Are we going to continue to hold unforgiveness for any and all mankind? Or receive what He did for all mankind’s wrongs including yours, mine and those who wronged our bloodlines? Choice.

If I continued to remind my family of their abuse (for the purpose to make sure they never do anything wrong to me again) how do you think that would go? They would feel condemned. Also, how would they ever forgive themselves? Had I held their wrongs against them…it would have held those same wrongs against myself. Choice.

I am not about to remove my family from my presence because they remind of how I was abused?

If I’m reminded of how I was abused, it is because I am still clinging to my wounds and I am unhealed in my heart.

What if I beat the hell out of my sisters for beating the hell out of me?

What if I hated their guts and wanted nothing to do with them because of how they treated me when I was a kid? Seriously. Think of the process of hatred and how it rules and reigns in the thought life…

It bears no good fruit whatsoever… it just causes more hate. Choice.

Just thinking aloud.

 

Remember

Thinking today into the deep about some specific memories – they stopped me and I cried and I remember…
When my mom died, I made the arrangements. She had died in the hospital holding my sister’s hand. I came later with another sister. They were intensely worried about me and how I would take her death. It was a horrific season that ultimately changed all our lives. I remember.
I gathered up her clothes. My pain was hidden as I masked the emptiness through my “maturity”. I remember the funeral home was filled with people who did not know her – never met her – but they knew my dad. They came to honor her because they knew him. I remember.
We took the trek to Houston where we buried her and honestly, I did not return for many many years to that place … I knew she was not really there and I just did not want to remember.

Then, my dad died years later and the service was held in a small space at the Veterans Memorial. There was a man who played guitar who at the time was my sister and her husband’s friend. There was a salute with guns because of my dad’s service in the military – he was at Pearl Harbor. I still have some of his logs from seeing men burn on different levels of the ship. By the time he passed he was living in my sister’s home where he faced his fears of the unknown and ultimately – fearlessly went into the Unknown filled with Love and Peace. I remember.

For some reason today I was struck with how our lives influence one another and how one life matters. My mom was my best friend. I still miss her to this day. She would be proud of her girls including our niece who she loved with a fierce compassion. She would want to hug her right now. Mom would want to talk with her and want to soothe her heart. Mom valued. She mattered. Dad was strong and seeking and wanting to be forgiven and wanted to know Truth and he found it and it was beautiful. He mattered and he knew he mattered when it was all said and done.
Maybe you don’t think you matter. Believe me – you are significant and your life matters – your thoughts matter – your prayers matter – your presence matters and when you are not present – it matters. God knows. He remembers.

My mom was a recluse and knew few. My dad was a recluse in his latter days and though back in a day he knew many – he died alone with one holding his hand and lovingly speaking to him as if he mattered because he did matter. His presence mattered. I remember both seasons of my life.

This is deep stuff my friend. What is my point you wonder? I’m rambling you think? No. I rarely if ever ramble. I just see a lot at one time and it takes a while to communicate …

The Bible talks about seasons of life. There is a preparation that takes place for every season and though we may feel unable – we can face it with Them inside us as we remember who we are and Who we came from … that may seem like a myth or a bunch of hooey to you – I don’t know… honestly it used to feel like that to me. I get it. I remember.

It is a deep shift to see how we live forever and how we have always been and how we will always be and how Love makes the difference in HOW we live and how we pass into a new life. Whew what a long sentence as I “ramble”. Some do not realize significance until that movement into the heavens. That is okay. God knows. No regrets. God remembers.

My mom and dad were strong influencers who never really got to live out their potential on this planet. Maybe that is one of the reasons my sisters and I have wanted to live all in and passionately moving forward into more of Him. We know they still live. We know Life is real. We realize they still live in another place. I have had to shift to see it and to realize it and to remember.

May you embrace the shift available to us all…. may I continue to face what I fearfully hold … may we receive this Love that holds us all and may we ultimately believe the Greatest Story ever Told.
Until soon and much love as you and I remember …
d

Quarantined in Confusion

Years ago, I was quarantined with a mysterious fever and deep cough. My husband took me to Urgent Care where it was clear I was not in my right mind. Delirious it seemed. What caused it?

What happened?

Quickly, the medical staff assessed my situation and gave me a breathing treatment.

A long one.

At first, I thought what is the purpose of this? I can breathe fine. Then, it was clear I wasn’t breathing fine. Pure oxygen was needed to bring me back into my right mind.

My right mind.

My right mind.

What is that exactly?

What is my right mind?

When I left the Urgent Care facility, I was not feeling better physically, but my thoughts were clearer. My right mind was found through pure oxygen.

The oxygen had moved through my body supplying much needed nutrients to my cells so my body could fight the bacteria or virus.

And this was my thought process. Quarantined in Confusion?

My right mind is when I am in UNION with CHRIST for His purposes alone. Breathing pure oxygen was the answer. Breathing Him in and breathing only Him out so HE is all that is within me.

I find this union when I lay aside all that lays on me to distract, to detour, to destroy me. Quarantined in Christ?

The problem was a slow infection unaddressed became clothes of distraction that fit really well. Clearly I had taken a road to detour with a quarantine in confusion.

So, there I was under a heavy blanket of yuck searching Him out for answers and solutions as to why I got there and how to avoid it in the future.

When you are in the yuck zone you sleep, drink water and sleep some more.

And, HE brought it all back to HIMSELF and pure oxygen.

It must be pure..to clean, to clarify, to align.

What if the calling is so clear, so concise, so obvious and so narrow that you just cannot see it? Quarantine needs a purpose.

Those were my thoughts as I peeled off another layer of distraction, detour and destruction in hopes to avoid a future delirium. This quarantine was some years back.

But is this day so different? Covid crazy chaos causing conflict and incoherency. The mixture of faith and fret furthering our confused quarantine?

Have you been distracted from pure oxygen? When is the last time you had a pure thought?

Have you been derailed into depression designed to destroy? Oh I have and it’s been a definite detour that has required strategy. Quarantine in Christ.

I’m coming out slowly but surely with Gods help, the prayers of friends and a wake up call to a new courage.

Have you been quarantined into Christ or quarantined in confusion?

Are you coming out?

Follow me – https://www.facebook.com/donnareinersauthor/

d

 

 

You can hear Him

Pondering life. Fascinated God chose us before the foundation of the world. While yet not breathing, He chose us. While yet against Him, He included those He created. HE is in us, around us. What does it mean? All things exist in heaven and earth because of Him, adhering to Him. For Him. By Him. Through Him. Including you. Including me. How devastatingly unpractical yet our reality – not just a doctrinal truth. You can hear Him.

Father restoring relationship through His Son for all mankind? Father forgiving all of mankind through One Sacrifice? Without our help or permission. One Sacrifice resurrected for all mankind. What do you do with that? If Adam caused mankind to be dead then certainly Jesus brought life to mankind? Surely we don’t see Adam as more powerful than Christ? Surely, Jesus’ obedience trumps Adam’s disobedience? Restoring mankind’s position to rule and reign. Restored so He is living in us and through us. Is this the Grace we do not quite understand? That He chose us? Without our mental ascent? Without our heart’s agreement? His decision? You can hear Him.

Imagine a Person stepping inside you so that you have an upclose personal relationship with our Creator – our Father – our God – one where He never leaves you…never forsakes you…because He breathes inside you and through you- answering your deepest questions through a whisper, a nudge, a thought, an audible word, or through the mystery of silence. Heaven coming to live in you through The Son. You are alive. You are not dead. You can be born again. You can hear Him yourself.

Don’t allow dark ignorance depersonalize The Most Personal, Relational, Loving Person of all time. Look up. See The Man. See God. See The King. Embrace the kingdom. You are a son or a daughter of your Father’s kingdom. God yet Friend. Master yet Brother. Complete Authority yet not controlling you. Freedom to cultivate relationship with The Most Powerful Being from time without time.

When the son ran away from his father to spend his inheritance – it says he came to his senses and planned his way back home. His thought process was to present himself as not good enough to be his father’s son and be hired as a servant. Did the the son lose his identity when he went away to squander his inheritance? What else? I see that he also left the presence of his father’s love, acceptance and affirmation. The son may have returned out of ‘need’ but his father received him back as family with no questions asked. Once a son – always a son – behavior does not determine bloodline. You may have lost your way but HE has not lost you. You were never lost by Him. You are found. Seriously how would Almighty God lose His own son? Like He doesn’t have eyes to see his location or ears to hear his thoughts? So what’s the hold up? You can hear Him.

Could Father be waiting for you to wake up to His Love and acceptance and affirmation… that you are His – always have been and always will be? Church may not be your safe place but Father has a ring for your hand, sandals for your feet, food for your sustenance and arms open wide because you are not a servant but His son. You can hear Him- Love-d

I See

I see Life is inevitable and then there is life again.

Well, so I feel like I am experiencing what my mom experienced when she was dying at my age (57). I don’t like it nor want it but am not sure how to proceed other than to write it out.

I had dental surgery a few weeks ago and my body is still reeling – from the impact of an infection (still making its way out of my body)
from the impact of the sedation (still making its way out of my body) and the dehydration I had already experienced before the tooth was ever removed.

Since January or so, my esophageal sphincter has been stuck open (I am retraining it to be closed through a chiropractic help). The gastroenterologist was of no help as they only offered a pharmaceutical to soothe the acidic reaction. But the sphincter is getting triggered by either food, emotions or something ..unsure… event? Frequency?? Do not know. Did this happen to my mom? How did she pass through this season of her life?

My body is lower than the low acidic levels and so I’m working on monolithic eating with high alkaline causing foods. It is slow. It is a choosing with intention what I put into my mouth and a choosing with intention to eat it until it is mush in my mouth. I need the nutrients.

I remember Mom losing weight. I remember our last Christmas. I remember her weighing 118 pounds and I am at about 128 pounds right now. I have lost from 148 til now since about December/January… this is 2020 now…. Was that what happened to her?

My body is hungry. Was she hungry?

Was she unable to eat?

Did she feel misunderstood? Unnoticed?Uncared for? Alone?

I remember my dad leaving her at home alone as he went out on a date with a friend’s mom. I found it disgusting then. I did not understand his unkindness.

Now I see his selfishness.

And I see how out of control he felt at not being able to stop what was happening to his wife of 36 years. Now, I have compassion at him feeling powerless. I see.

I also remember him swearing to stop smoking when she was diagnosed which did not last long – he still smoked in her face.

I found that disgusting too. Now, I see his nervousness and how incapable he felt to care of his wife. He was a man’s man from surviving Pearl Harbor and other wars to living through raising 4 daughters … but this caring for his wife? This was different. This was painful. This was deep and this was where the rubber met the road. I see.

That was 1981.

It is 2020.

39 years.

Is this cellular memory for me? A twisted cellular frequency? If so, what triggered it? Why are these strange and odd incidents happening? I have no idea.

Is God revealing all of this to me?

Unsure. But it is revelatory.

I am fighting to trust and believe this is not my time to die. It feels silly to even be thinking it yet that is what is on the tip of my lips. Wow. It is an intensity I have never known.

Was she wanting to live? Choose life.

I remember asking why she was going to do chemotherapy and radiation.

Her response? It is my chance to live. She chose life. I see.

She wanted to see me grow up, get married – she wanted to live her days to see grandchildren – which there was only one and I’m thankful to know that niece today though her mom/my sister has passed away into the next realm. She wanted to see all her daughters succeed and she wanted to be part of our lives. She loved us. She was special. She was my best friend. She wanted life.

I have other issues I dare not share right now. So, I’m relearning how to live it seems. I’m learning how to eat it feels like for the first time. I see.

Bone broth is my friend.

So are green beans, asparagus and water. I love water. I love life.

I’m on a journey and you are too so don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.

I’ll be updating soon on food, restoration and life – life – life.

Until soon friend with an update and much love with life I see – Donna Reiners

Struggle for Strategy.

Exchange STRUGGLE for STRATEGY.
I have been in a struggle for years. Sometimes it was strife filled but no longer. Now, it’s life fillled. Listening. Daily. Struggle for strategy.
This is the key.
So, what’s your struggle? Mine has been health? Maybe yours is something else?
Family.
Responsibilities.
Parenting.
Adulting.
Gambling.
Porn.
Workaholic.
Alcoholic.
Crises after crises.
Under planning.
Over planning.
No planning.
No miney.
Too much money.
Stress.
Strife.
Competition.
Stubbornness.
You name it.

WE have to see how to maneuver through these days and exchange our struggle for strategy.

I’m getting new thoughts. New ideas. New ways. New processes.
A fresh start to hear and see.
I’m exchanging my struggle for strategy…

You can receive a strategy to depart from that thought into a new thought,
It’s not too late… It feels too late in some areas but it makes me press in more to hear and understand…so don’t give up…
Love-d

Don’t Be Afraid

If you are living, you will make mistakes in this Life journey – don’t be afraid.

The choice each day to live courageously or cowardly is right before us. Sometimes it seems darker than it is. I’m learning how to recognize the hesitation attached to fear versus the caution attached to wisdom. If you feel you might be in the fear driven, compromised zone then ask for wisdom. Don’t be afraid.

Asking for wisdom is a sure fire way to grow and mature and find courage. You’ll discover solutions to problems and strength to rise. I have a simple practical example for you. I had dental surgery in early March and my mouth took two additional weeks to heal. Four long weeks felt so slow and caused concern. My organs had been fighting infection from the tooth issue and compromised my immune system even more. It was physically challenging and my health was dim.

Now we are in May and my mouth is still awkward and sore. I noticed I was moving into fear. Whoah. Stop. I paused. I asked for wisdom. I asked for direction. Don’t be afraid was whispering into my ear and attempting to redirect my thoughts.

Then I saw it. I’m grinding that area of my mouth at night. I realize that’s why I’m sore. It’s my answer. It’s simple. It’s not anything bigger to worry over. The wisdom was seeing Truth instead of assuming the worst. The Truth is that I’m ok. Don’t be afraid.

If fear is needling you at night then switch gears instead. Ask for wisdom. God is gracious to extend it. Ask with confidence and wait with assurance. Answers will come. They may not come overnight but surely your footsteps will be directed. Don’t be afraid.

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