How do you personally get free from judgments if you always remind yourself and others of wronging or being wronged? It’s a choice.
Jesus wiped away all the wrong and being wronged. He chose.
Are we going to wipe away the memory of what He did on behalf of humanity? What happened to Him was atrocious.
So, His intention was forgiveness for all mankind.
Are we going to continue to hold unforgiveness for any and all mankind? Or receive what He did for all mankind’s wrongs including yours, mine and those who wronged our bloodlines? Choice.
If I continued to remind my family of their abuse (for the purpose to make sure they never do anything wrong to me again) how do you think that would go? They would feel condemned. Also, how would they ever forgive themselves? Had I held their wrongs against them…it would have held those same wrongs against myself. Choice.
I am not about to remove my family from my presence because they remind of how I was abused?
If I’m reminded of how I was abused, it is because I am still clinging to my wounds and I am unhealed in my heart.
What if I beat the hell out of my sisters for beating the hell out of me?
What if I hated their guts and wanted nothing to do with them because of how they treated me when I was a kid? Seriously. Think of the process of hatred and how it rules and reigns in the thought life…
It bears no good fruit whatsoever… it just causes more hate. Choice.
Thinking today into the deep about some specific memories – they stopped me and I cried and I remember… When my mom died, I made the arrangements. She had died in the hospital holding my sister’s hand. I came later with another sister. They were intensely worried about me and how I would take her death. It was a horrific season that ultimately changed all our lives. I remember. I gathered up her clothes. My pain was hidden as I masked the emptiness through my “maturity”. I remember the funeral home was filled with people who did not know her – never met her – but they knew my dad. They came to honor her because they knew him. I remember. We took the trek to Houston where we buried her and honestly, I did not return for many many years to that place … I knew she was not really there and I just did not want to remember.
Then, my dad died years later and the service was held in a small space at the Veterans Memorial. There was a man who played guitar who at the time was my sister and her husband’s friend. There was a salute with guns because of my dad’s service in the military – he was at Pearl Harbor. I still have some of his logs from seeing men burn on different levels of the ship. By the time he passed he was living in my sister’s home where he faced his fears of the unknown and ultimately – fearlessly went into the Unknown filled with Love and Peace. I remember.
For some reason today I was struck with how our lives influence one another and how one life matters. My mom was my best friend. I still miss her to this day. She would be proud of her girls including our niece who she loved with a fierce compassion. She would want to hug her right now. Mom would want to talk with her and want to soothe her heart. Mom valued. She mattered. Dad was strong and seeking and wanting to be forgiven and wanted to know Truth and he found it and it was beautiful. He mattered and he knew he mattered when it was all said and done. Maybe you don’t think you matter. Believe me – you are significant and your life matters – your thoughts matter – your prayers matter – your presence matters and when you are not present – it matters. God knows. He remembers.
My mom was a recluse and knew few. My dad was a recluse in his latter days and though back in a day he knew many – he died alone with one holding his hand and lovingly speaking to him as if he mattered because he did matter. His presence mattered. I remember both seasons of my life.
This is deep stuff my friend. What is my point you wonder? I’m rambling you think? No. I rarely if ever ramble. I just see a lot at one time and it takes a while to communicate …
The Bible talks about seasons of life. There is a preparation that takes place for every season and though we may feel unable – we can face it with Them inside us as we remember who we are and Who we came from … that may seem like a myth or a bunch of hooey to you – I don’t know… honestly it used to feel like that to me. I get it. I remember.
It is a deep shift to see how we live forever and how we have always been and how we will always be and how Love makes the difference in HOW we live and how we pass into a new life. Whew what a long sentence as I “ramble”. Some do not realize significance until that movement into the heavens. That is okay. God knows. No regrets. God remembers.
My mom and dad were strong influencers who never really got to live out their potential on this planet. Maybe that is one of the reasons my sisters and I have wanted to live all in and passionately moving forward into more of Him. We know they still live. We know Life is real. We realize they still live in another place. I have had to shift to see it and to realize it and to remember.
May you embrace the shift available to us all…. may I continue to face what I fearfully hold … may we receive this Love that holds us all and may we ultimately believe the Greatest Story ever Told. Until soon and much love as you and I remember … d
Pondering life. Fascinated God chose us before the foundation of the world. While yet not breathing, He chose us. While yet against Him, He included those He created. HE is in us, around us. What does it mean? All things exist in heaven and earth because of Him, adhering to Him. For Him. By Him. Through Him. Including you. Including me. How devastatingly unpractical yet our reality – not just a doctrinal truth. You can hear Him.
Father restoring relationship through His Son for all mankind? Father forgiving all of mankind through One Sacrifice? Without our help or permission. One Sacrifice resurrected for all mankind. What do you do with that? If Adam caused mankind to be dead then certainly Jesus brought life to mankind? Surely we don’t see Adam as more powerful than Christ? Surely, Jesus’ obedience trumps Adam’s disobedience? Restoring mankind’s position to rule and reign. Restored so He is living in us and through us. Is this the Grace we do not quite understand? That He chose us? Without our mental ascent? Without our heart’s agreement? His decision? You can hear Him.
Imagine a Person stepping inside you so that you have an upclose personal relationship with our Creator – our Father – our God – one where He never leaves you…never forsakes you…because He breathes inside you and through you- answering your deepest questions through a whisper, a nudge, a thought, an audible word, or through the mystery of silence. Heaven coming to live in you through The Son. You are alive. You are not dead. You can be born again. You can hear Him yourself.
Don’t allow dark ignorance depersonalize The Most Personal, Relational, Loving Person of all time. Look up. See The Man. See God. See The King. Embrace the kingdom. You are a son or a daughter of your Father’s kingdom. God yet Friend. Master yet Brother. Complete Authority yet not controlling you. Freedom to cultivate relationship with The Most Powerful Being from time without time.
When the son ran away from his father to spend his inheritance – it says he came to his senses and planned his way back home. His thought process was to present himself as not good enough to be his father’s son and be hired as a servant. Did the the son lose his identity when he went away to squander his inheritance? What else? I see that he also left the presence of his father’s love, acceptance and affirmation. The son may have returned out of ‘need’ but his father received him back as family with no questions asked. Once a son – always a son – behavior does not determine bloodline. You may have lost your way but HE has not lost you. You were never lost by Him. You are found. Seriously how would Almighty God lose His own son? Like He doesn’t have eyes to see his location or ears to hear his thoughts? So what’s the hold up? You can hear Him.
Could Father be waiting for you to wake up to His Love and acceptance and affirmation… that you are His – always have been and always will be? Church may not be your safe place but Father has a ring for your hand, sandals for your feet, food for your sustenance and arms open wide because you are not a servant but His son. You can hear Him- Love-d
I see Life is inevitable and then there is life again.
Well, so I feel like I am experiencing what my mom experienced when she was dying at my age (57). I don’t like it nor want it but am not sure how to proceed other than to write it out.
I had dental surgery a few weeks ago and my body is still reeling – from the impact of an infection (still making its way out of my body) from the impact of the sedation (still making its way out of my body) and the dehydration I had already experienced before the tooth was ever removed.
Since January or so, my esophageal sphincter has been stuck open (I am retraining it to be closed through a chiropractic help). The gastroenterologist was of no help as they only offered a pharmaceutical to soothe the acidic reaction. But the sphincter is getting triggered by either food, emotions or something ..unsure… event? Frequency?? Do not know. Did this happen to my mom? How did she pass through this season of her life?
My body is lower than the low acidic levels and so I’m working on monolithic eating with high alkaline causing foods. It is slow. It is a choosing with intention what I put into my mouth and a choosing with intention to eat it until it is mush in my mouth. I need the nutrients.
I remember Mom losing weight. I remember our last Christmas. I remember her weighing 118 pounds and I am at about 128 pounds right now. I have lost from 148 til now since about December/January… this is 2020 now…. Was that what happened to her?
My body is hungry. Was she hungry?
Was she unable to eat?
Did she feel misunderstood? Unnoticed?Uncared for? Alone?
I remember my dad leaving her at home alone as he went out on a date with a friend’s mom. I found it disgusting then. I did not understand his unkindness.
Now I see his selfishness.
And I see how out of control he felt at not being able to stop what was happening to his wife of 36 years. Now, I have compassion at him feeling powerless. I see.
I also remember him swearing to stop smoking when she was diagnosed which did not last long – he still smoked in her face.
I found that disgusting too. Now, I see his nervousness and how incapable he felt to care of his wife. He was a man’s man from surviving Pearl Harbor and other wars to living through raising 4 daughters … but this caring for his wife? This was different. This was painful. This was deep and this was where the rubber met the road. I see.
That was 1981.
It is 2020.
Is this cellular memory for me? A twisted cellular frequency? If so, what triggered it? Why are these strange and odd incidents happening? I have no idea.
Is God revealing all of this to me?
Unsure. But it is revelatory.
I am fighting to trust and believe this is not my time to die. It feels silly to even be thinking it yet that is what is on the tip of my lips. Wow. It is an intensity I have never known.
Was she wanting to live? Choose life.
I remember asking why she was going to do chemotherapy and radiation.
Her response? It is my chance to live. She chose life. I see.
She wanted to see me grow up, get married – she wanted to live her days to see grandchildren – which there was only one and I’m thankful to know that niece today though her mom/my sister has passed away into the next realm. She wanted to see all her daughters succeed and she wanted to be part of our lives. She loved us. She was special. She was my best friend. She wanted life.
I have other issues I dare not share right now. So, I’m relearning how to live it seems. I’m learning how to eat it feels like for the first time. I see.
Bone broth is my friend.
So are green beans, asparagus and water. I love water. I love life.
I’m on a journey and you are too so don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.
I’ll be updating soon on food, restoration and life – life – life.
Until soon friend with an update and much love with life I see – Donna Reiners
Exchange STRUGGLE for STRATEGY. I have been in a struggle for years. Sometimes it was strife filled but no longer. Now, it’s life fillled. Listening. Daily. Struggle for strategy. This is the key. So, what’s your struggle? Mine has been health? Maybe yours is something else? Family. Responsibilities. Parenting. Adulting. Gambling. Porn. Workaholic. Alcoholic. Crises after crises. Under planning. Over planning. No planning. No miney. Too much money. Stress. Strife. Competition. Stubbornness. You name it.
WE have to see how to maneuver through these days and exchange our struggle for strategy.
I’m getting new thoughts. New ideas. New ways. New processes. A fresh start to hear and see. I’m exchanging my struggle for strategy…
You can receive a strategy to depart from that thought into a new thought, It’s not too late… It feels too late in some areas but it makes me press in more to hear and understand…so don’t give up… Love-d
If you are living, you will make mistakes in this Life journey – don’t be afraid.
The choice each day to live courageously or cowardly is right before us. Sometimes it seems darker than it is. I’m learning how to recognize the hesitation attached to fear versus the caution attached to wisdom. If you feel you might be in the fear driven, compromised zone then ask for wisdom. Don’t be afraid.
Asking for wisdom is a sure fire way to grow and mature and find courage. You’ll discover solutions to problems and strength to rise. I have a simple practical example for you. I had dental surgery in early March and my mouth took two additional weeks to heal. Four long weeks felt so slow and caused concern. My organs had been fighting infection from the tooth issue and compromised my immune system even more. It was physically challenging and my health was dim.
Now we are in May and my mouth is still awkward and sore. I noticed I was moving into fear. Whoah. Stop. I paused. I asked for wisdom. I asked for direction. Don’t be afraid was whispering into my ear and attempting to redirect my thoughts.
Then I saw it. I’m grinding that area of my mouth at night. I realize that’s why I’m sore. It’s my answer. It’s simple. It’s not anything bigger to worry over. The wisdom was seeing Truth instead of assuming the worst. The Truth is that I’m ok. Don’t be afraid.
If fear is needling you at night then switch gears instead. Ask for wisdom. God is gracious to extend it. Ask with confidence and wait with assurance. Answers will come. They may not come overnight but surely your footsteps will be directed. Don’t be afraid.
Forgiveness is a real experience. I know someone whom I unintentionally betrayed. When I saw it and received that Truth from God, I was able to eventually sort through the issues of the why and the what and then – well – then I talked with the man and the woman. Do you know what they said? Well, that explains why “such and which” won’t return my call. Then, they both without hesitation and with full honesty said, “I forgive you” and they actually meant it.
How do I know they meant it? They did not treat me any differently after I exposed myself and shared with them what happened. They literally hugged me, supported me, loved me, encouraged me and laughed as if – it never once impacted them – although it truly did in ways I probably still do not understand. They talked about flesh and how we all are learning and we all are changing and that I needed to move forward and not be tormented by it. This was several years ago and they still treat me the same. I’m still welcomed in their home and they still refer others to me and they still hug me and text me and acknowledge my presence in their lives. Forgiveness.
They had already forgiven before they were confronted with a need to forgive me or anyone else. They lived and live from a deep place.
They are mature. In that place of maturity, I experienced a deep healing inside me when they not only forgave in that moment of my confession but they continued to value me in the days and years that followed. They maintained relationship with me as if that incident had never happened. Forgiveness.
They are kingdom like no one I have ever known. They paved the way with an honesty from the cross nobody (but one man who has already passed) had ever demonstrated to me. I see them do this consistently with others as well. I was not their first rodeo nor will I be their final one.
This I know – as long as you have relationships with others you will experience being thrown under a bus, humiliated, not appreciated, not paid back, not thanked, not loved, not apologized to and not understood. Also, as long as you have relationships you will experience being loved, watched over, thanked, appreciated, valued, loved and forgiven.
As long as the kingdom is always sought first and as long as that kingdom is not about “me, myself and I” then this Christ Whom we believe and trust and desire to know will have His way and be glorified through you and me. Forgiveness is the King’s domain. It is a place where we are supposed to have dominion and we can only have that kind of dominion through experiencing and exercising His life here with ourselves and others.
I’m still so thankful for their example of living as Christ on the planet and not just “talking” about living as Christ on the planet. Forgiveness is an action Jesus took and it is one we too can take. Reconciliation and humility and transparency and love is found in relationship and it can be for the long haul for those who choose that road of Life.
Can you imagine treating someone as if they had never hurt you? Never betrayed you? Never talked poorly about you? Never abused you? Forgiveness.
For you who are formulating why you think this is not every case – I’m not saying go back to that man who beat the hell out of you. I’m not saying trust that woman who threw you out of that vehicle. I am not saying it is okay that man or woman committed or are committing adultery.
But, I am saying if we cannot acknowledge where we wrong or misunderstand others – if we cannot love that person as they never harmed us – then it is highly probable we have not forgiven them as Christ has already forgiven us. It is a strong indicator of a heart that is not loving fully or being loved fully in an area of life. These are the lessons in life I consider and chew on and work out with Him. HE is so faithful to let us be honest instead of pretending and HE is so faithful to confront us with honesty too. Pondering from the deep.. My friends if you are a deep well and want to write a book – check out this free training. I did this and have not regretted it! Just click on the link and let me know my friend!! https://vt226.isrefer.com/go/aaevtrng/donnareinersignited/
Have Joy. You don’t get it all together all at once or at one time. Sometimes, it can be a lifetime to figure life out. God does not condemn your meanderings. Be not regretful. Be not stressed.
Take the good and the bad and all the in between and count it all as experience. Let Love pour over you not unbelief in you or God or others. Dream and take action in your dreams and let the chips fall where they may. You might need help launching you, your business, your health, your life or your work. Have Joy while on the way …
Just learn how to ENJOY every step you take whether it is cleaning your body, your house or someone else’s body or house. Let your setBACK be a setUP to a new beginning instead of a bummer or drag that it did not go according to your plan. Oh the Joy.
Let JOY define each moment not anger, naysayers, sickness or pieces that want to rob your progress.
Encourage yourself friends. Encourage yourself in your decisions both short term and long term. Remember it is not over and it is okay. Find Joy.
Update on a bizarre day. First thank you to the kind friend who brought me an oil blend to help the sinus and jaw/head pain go away today. It would have worked if it weren’t for operator error …
Second thanks to my husband who did not panic as his wife started crying from the burning pain in my eyes from oil dripping into both eyes. I am thankful Craig lead my blind eyes and body to the shower so I could thoroughly wash with Johnson’s Baby shampoo until my eyes no longer burned. He was brave.
I thank Jennifer for thinking quickly and getting coconut oil INTO my eyes to wash the burning oil out of my eyes… who knew?? Girl… that was gold. She was brave.
Thank God I was not alone to look for my phone with both eyes shut while crying from the burning wintergreen and other strong oils…which are not to be placed in our eyes 👀 but I guess I did not think through the oil part too well.
Thankfully people thought quickly. Thankful I did not have to call 911. Lately I have been on the receiving end while facing challenges with fresh transparency and a new perspective of authenticity.
Interestingly, I have also been encouraged to hide weaknesses … keep everything upbeat! Think positive! Meditate it all away… after all it worked for this person and that person so just do what they do … I get that too and don’t get me wrong – I’m a leaner into amazing, positive and all being well and I believe … we can all be brave.
I am also learning that keeping it real is more honest than avoiding what is painful, ignoring what is uncomfortable or just pretending that everything is hunky dory when I’m in the process of my progress.
Instead of disassociating or compartmentalizing, I’m learning how to be brave while facing adversity … Loving myself through complications. Living with myself as others drop off for healthier “friendships.” Honestly that’s okay – loving one another when life is all good is easy but it is that whole rubber meets the road thing. I’m having to love at a distance while embracing wellness and letting others figure out how to be brave.
Its interesting really – to be in another vital season of bravery as we move forward in calculated ways. One way I moved forward was in writing a book that got published in other parts of the world. It was a dream come true for me. If you have a book or story inside you – check out this free training on writing your own book. Blessings to you! https://vt226.isrefer.com/go/aaevtrng/donnareinersignited/
See you on the way to the other side – wait – maybe we are brave already …