Right the Wrong

Tenacious Tuesday-Some think leaving the past behind means just severing it all and starting over. Though that can be true – it’s not always the full picture.

If you wronged someone or were involved in wronging someone – you may need to right that wrong. And if righting it is impossible then at least be honorable and restore relationship. And if you don’t see how that is necessary then you definitely should ask yourself how you would have felt if it had been you who had been thrown under a bus. One thing that’s true is you can justify what happened all you want but until your heart decides that kindness is more important – you are still in the wrong. 

How can you truly move forward if you have lose ends like dishonor or unforgiveness? The truth is that you may leave your past but the past will come find you eventually….the kingdom is about relationship.

Until soon, d 

 

Wear Honor

Super Saturday

Honor. Love. Rare. Why? Because of me me me me me me me. It’s simply reality. Wonder what would happen if instead of throwing people under a bus – if we gave them our seat on the bus. Whether your industry is business, health, fitness, writing, retail, government- it’s all made of people. So govern you to a higher standard. Let love for humanity give you the courage to love and honor. 

Be different. Step aside from the me centered you. Wear Honor first. It will look really good on you.  

 

My Way or the Highway

My Way or the Highway Donna ReinersSometimes you don’t know how to honor someone. A learning curve perhaps. This does not mean you are dishonoring. This is where relationship comes in and dialogue and freedom to make mistakes and to love and be loved as an imperfect person yet HE died for them too. My way or the highway.

Do you take offense? Are you offended? Is someone on your last nerve? Have you decided you are done with this person or that person? Maybe you feel you have been hurt for the very last time by xyz? Code words for offense. Jill Mitchell O’Brien, an international speaker from the Houston area,  lives a life of honor and teaches on honor. One of the statements she uses is, “Honor is what loves looks like.” She also says, “Humility never takes offense.” Thought provoking isn’t it? But how do you live this way the attitude of those around you is –  my way or the highway? Or could it be this is your own private mindset? I grew up with a father who would say, “My way or the highway.” Honor was just keeping your mouth shut and doing whatever he wanted however he wanted with zero communication from or with you. Disagreement was not acceptable. So, our relationship was pretty much non existent and then mostly fear based for most my life. Fear based. Let me explain. If you or I ask a question and before we ask, we already know the person is more likely to yell at you, disagree with you, not listen, interrupt and not let you finish, tell you you are stupid, reject you as insignificant or just flat walk away offended by you…that is a fear based relationship.

Ask yourself if you are this kind of person? OR are you controlled by someone who only gives you the option of my way or the highway.

Father, I pray that you would give us grace to move forward – show us how to #Bebraver by honoring the one who dishonors – giving them and us mercy and by remembering it is only by grace that any of us face today and tomorrow.

Until next time – d

Zero Relationship

Zero Relationship

My way or the highway. Zero relationship. This describes my relationship with my Dad. Skip forward to real time in my real life and when I came to know the Lord and I found deep inside me ingrained a thought that I would not live long and so I was always afraid of what? Dying before morning. Sick huh? Yes, I agree. What a sad way to think and a sad way to trust God or others. Not only did I have zero relationship with my earthly dad but I had zero relationship with myself and the enemy fought to pervert my dialogue with God also so that we would have…..zero relationship.

I’m free from much/most of those nagging thoughts and ideas.  The Word of God changes us and His love helps us see clearly and receive differently. I’ve learned more of the give and take but it has not come easily. I love to talk things through with another person – and at times I appear defensive…yet its me attempting to just flat understand and “get” whatever it is you are saying. I don’t think it is wisdom to just bee bop along and pretend like you understand when really, you do not. It’s deceitful actually. Relationships are critical in life and in love and in living.

Well, this is the thing – my dad knew nothing else. He thought honor was shut up and listen. He was offended when I contradicted what he felt was honor. Because his worldview was so skewed and his idea of honor and love was so twisted, he lived offended most the time. Bless his heart – all he needed was a good dose of God’s love. THAT would have solved sooooo much!!!

I want to encourage you today in your communication with others. Don’t assume they are dishonoring you and don’t assume they are offended. You might have some elderly folks you are around or maybe it’s you who is the elderly. If it’s you – be patient with those who don’t think of honor the same as you. Honor that person by loving them. Don’t take offense! It could be their worldview is just radically different and you just need to have a conversation where both parties get to share and listen and talk and listen. WOW. More LOVE = less Wars. The next time you are around someone who has this communication style of the my way or the highway – perhaps you might consider just hugging them on the neck. Change the environment. Maybe they are afraid of something and they just need some love and a listening ear. Be about understanding instead of replying and who knows….you might see God change them AND you all at one time.Send this to friends who might be interested in loving or being loved. Who knows? Maybe they need some wisdom.

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 Until next time,

d

 

BUZZWORD: BOUNDARIES

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries – we got books galore on the subject. We teach people how to have them, how to keep them and how to teach others how to have and keep them. So, I get it – some people get on your nerves. They push your buttons and they tick you off and you are just sick of it or maybe they are one of those who manipulate and control you with their words of guilt, loneliness and need. So, to keep yourself from getting mad at their obvious blind spot of sin and witchcraft – you employ this amazing BUZZWORD: Boundaries.

Really? So, maybe you just don’t know how to speak the truth in love OR they can’t receive the truth you speak in love. Maybe. I hear you.

OR you just don’t like your buttons pushed. How about that? How about you are so busy pointing the finger to that person or that church or that group or that old person or that young person….wrapping your thoughts about how they dare to try and tell you what to do or manipulate you into visiting them or helping them or whatever……you are soooooooo busy thinking how wrong THEY ARE and how BLIND THEY ARE that you are BLIND TO YOUR OWN WRONG DOING. Oh yea.

I went there. I went there with me first. Now I go there with you.

I have a short video for you to watch before you read my blog……………its a sneak peak into today’s BUZZWORD BOUNDARIES

Back to my ranting – so, this is what I think and you can spit in my eye if you want. I think MOST….maybe not all…but most the time we implement boundaries to protect our own little hot buttons….to protect that area we have walled off as forbidden territory…to protect….to keep our anger in a fortress whereby no one can enter unless they have the magic words (RAPUNZEL LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!)…………OR protect our sadness or mourning or grieving….so as to keep it inside where nobody knows we are in pain. Face it. When we help a person who cannot help themselves and it only brings up emotions of the last time we helped a user…I mean a helpless person….it just makes us think we are being used.

But are we?

SURE WE ARE!!! Jesus was used all the time and you and I are in really good company….HE says to live like HE lived…

If someone brings out the worst in you…………..THEY AIN’T THE ISSUE. If it’s not in you – it won’t come out REGARDLESS OF who they are or what they do to you. IF IT’S IN YOU……………….THEN THAT’S THE REAL DILLY BOB.

So, my advice? Not that you asked for it…but since you did……………when someone makes you mad or sad or you feel manipulated or controlled or guilt ridden???? Instead of cutting them off with your flesh driven protect myself from killing them or myself boundaries and making them the problem or the cause…how about making a fresh observation on your own character and your own issues and your own undealtwith problems?

The real deal is that if you are able to be manipulated – that’s not their bad – that’s yours. The real deal is that if they can cause you to feel guilt or condemnation – that’s not their bad – that is yours. You get to thank GOD HE is revealing to you something about your spirit or soul that would otherwise not be known…had it not for that precious friend who pushed all your flippin buttons.

SELAH. Quit blaming others for what’s inside of you. When you create boundaries just for boundaries sake…ask yourself…are you protecting YOU or protecting that part of you that you don’t want coming out…cause you embarrass yourself when you yell, scream, get angry or frustrated or cry. Listen…we are all in a test. Its the HOPE test. If you are truly HOLDING ONTO PAPA EXPECTANTLY then you won’t blow your lid or protect your rights……….you will instead run to the wilderness and spend time with God the Father and get filled up or REMAIN filled up. HOW ON THIS EARTH DID JESUS stay in relationship with His disciples? HE spent time with the Father…HE slipped away to be with HIM when nobody else was around….HE REMAINED filled so that HE COULD ALWAYS GIVE OUT WHAT HIS DAD WAS DOING AND WHAT HIS DAD WAS SAYING.

Question is – do you want to be like Dad and do the right thing……..or do you want to be like you….and never change.

Send to a friend…

Love you – until next time..

d