I’m 58 this year having outlived my mother who died at 57. I have lots of #laugh lines, #cry lines and #joy lines. Sometimes, as our bodies grow older, we face things we never knew we would face. Sometimes other people can help us face those things as we move forward. Have you ever lived misunderstood, disappointed or divided by man’s assumptive opinion? But at the end of the day, it’s face-to-face with you and face to face with me. It’s a new day and in the midst of more tears there is opportunity to trust Them more. #Bare. It literally can be excruciatingly painful and bitter and sweet all at one time to come face-to-face with yourself. In the mirror you see into your eyes lots of mistakes, lots of desires, misunderstandings and also many years that if I concentrated on them I would want a do over in. #Bare. And choosing Joy that allows contentment? Now I believe the me I am today is acceptable and pleasing with or without my paint and I’m learning not to allow the opinion of others to taint how I see myself or how I believe God sees me or intimately knows me. Interesting tip. Others are going to misunderstand you. You are going to make mistakes. You are sometimes going to be flat out wrong. And sometimes you’re going to be correct. But is it really about right and wrong? Reconciliation is always the heart of #Christ. When you remain divided, it is not his idea. The cross was enough. The blood was enough. #Resurrection is enough. Forgiving and being forgiven should be our immediate go to – not a have to – but an immediate ..”I’m forgiven and you are #forgiven.” Righteousness, peace and power in the Holy Spirit is who lives inside of me. I am his house. I am God’s House and you are too. Bare.
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Rise in your space. Don’t shrink back but embrace the challenge.
Resting expecting supernatural tenacity. Fix your eyes. Stay in the current. Let it strengthen you. You’ll end up with inheritance.
Rise in your space. Be expectant. Turn to think good things not past things. Maybe even approach your issue differently. Expect change. Expect freedom. Expect help. Expect life. Watch a video on Rise by clicking here.
Rise in your space and tune in supernaturally. Listen to what’s inside the song, conversation, disagreements. Listen beyond the tears and pain. Access what’s in between the lines and get a full picture. God is not shaming you or beating you up.
Rise with tenacity into Truth. Not the good labels or negative finger pointing of man can define you. Opinion hasn’t a chance when compared to Truth. Tenaciously embrace a TRUE new you. LOOK into the ones near you and you’ll find they struggle the same. Love issues. Misunderstood. Not able to express themselves. Need validation. Feel like not fitting in.
Look into your eyes and see love there. That’s who you really are so sit up tall in your chair. Follow me for blogging and strength. Love- d
August has come and is almost gone and saying goodbye to the old me til I’m no longer that me is still in progress. Less than half the year remains to live. I sense change. But then change is every day isn’t it? I sense a stepping forward. But then every day is that day too.
Some need the motivation of a gentle tog, strong urge, raised voice or hit on the head to step onward. I want to be unafraid of obeying The One Who wants me prepared. I want to be free from sabotage. But how?
I encourage you today to take one step today to make room for something new. An exercise, cleaning a drawer, giving away clothes, revamping the garage or attic are all action steps help you say goodbye to an old you.
If I’m not going to use it maybe it’s time to lose it. My mini project today is to go through a box of old journals all the way to 1993. I began to write out my life as a new follower of Christ and honestly I’m no longer the person in those pages. Time to say goodbye. Maybe this step will free me from more of me – but even if it’s just giving me an empty container – it will be worth it. What’s this got to do with sabotage? My junk is always in my way. I ignore it and then Im entangled with it when deep inside I DO know what to do. I just don’t do it. My mind gets jumbled with so much and I’m overwhelmed with it … because I won’t do that one thing. After a while a thousand one things sabotage my next step and I’m enslaved…trapped..by me and my refusal to just do that one thing.
Interestingly that August is the 8th month and eight means means a cutting away. Many think it means a new day. But really… It is the cutting a way that brings the newness.
I’ve been contemplating for a month or so on what comes out of my mouth. I believe I need to prune my words. My mouth is my greatest place of sabotage. It will have to be a conscious effort to create a new culture. Everywhere we turn, people complain. We complain about what we eat, who said what, how we are treated, what the news says, how we look, how someone else behaves, what we wear, the weather, the president, the preacher, this country, that company. It’s easy to get wrapped up and sucked into your own or your neighbors opinion/words.
We fill ourselves with negativity while using excuses like venting, praying, or processing. Yet what is it really? We lack self control while exercising our freedom to be free.
I’m not sure my own opinion warrants words anymore. I seem to sabotage my own life as soon as I have a new one. My mouth.
What about you? Do you have a negative perspective about yourself that dominates you?
How about joining me in an all out fast from complaining? From complaining to celebrating. This is the intention. Let me know if you want to grow?? If so, gossip and complaining about you and others has to go.
Fast from complaining about you and those with you. Think of create ways to correct yourself and those with you. I’ve started and I’m having to literally start by shutting up because when I realize how it was gonna come out of my mouth???????…. I realized I’m a big problem. I can’t stop those around me from their negative talk about them or me. But it’s like God nudged me and showered me with Love and showed me a new path. I can see how if I will lead the way- over time I’ll get it. If I will respond with kindness when someone criticizes me then it will diffuse what could turn ugly if I got offended by them.
I’m not sure I even know how to be a complain free person. But I’m starting today to clean up my mouth while on the way to clean out a container. Maybe there will be a correlation? Unsure. I just know my mouth is powerful and it can be used for building up or tearing down. I caught myself tearing down late last night through emotions that should have been reigned in.
Sabotage is not my friend. Venting is not my friend. Making a point is not my friend. Having the last word? Not my friend.
Celebration is my friend. It must be intentional or it won’t happen.
Jesus had the last word. Well He had a couple- Forgive them and It is finished. So, I’m forgiven and the ones with me are forgiven. I’m gonna lean into being forgiven and forgiving and lean into what’s been finished so I can finish..
Until soon and much love… I’m going to have a cup of coffee and celebrate a new beginning. Then, Im going to drink some water. Then?? I’m headed out to get ONE container to empty…that hopefully will lead to some more. Granted my house is going to want food so as soon as I’m in a groove I’ll need to stop for a fueling. This is not sabotage. This is love. For me. For them.
Slowly I’m learning to see me as Christ sees me. The clincher is to see others as Christ sees them – that’s the mark of change. I have failed in this arena. But today is still my new day as I learn to say goodbye to an old me and I learn to embrace a new me…on my way to celebrate the me who has yet to be on my way to the container filled with what is no longer me…
Life can be a journey but for most my life it was a destination. It’s only been the past 10 years or so when I decided to explore a new me. The other me was afraid to disappoint anyone but especially those in authority. I felt I had no option than to obey even without relationship. This area ruled my being. Unable to say no was how I handled my inner and outer world. I was indecisive, unstable and unable to be happy with myself. This has changed though it took what seems like a century. I’m not as fearful. I do not feel like I’m a failure. I have not ditched authority – I just now realize I’m in authority too. This means I have input for my own situations. This was critical to step into.
Interestingly today is my 17th wedding anniversary. I’ve had a lot of changes take place over the last almost 20 years. It’s been an adventure!
Be encouraged to continue taking the steps toward knowing yourself. You are worth it and in the process you might find a different you- a Brave new you. You may find yourself learning new skills and becoming a better you. A different path. The same path. A new respect. A change in career. Giving more. Living more. Loving more. Not everyone will like or embrace your change. Not everyone will desire your renovation. You have to decide. Some want to control you – not get to know you. Some see you as a project not a person to relate to. That’s okay. You do you. Embrace the different new you.
This is the thing. I needed to let the junk go! I thought I knew #forgiveness as an intimate #friend until I saw how unforgiving I had been – toward me. I had forgiven you with seemingly little effort. However, I was guilt ridden from having had trouble forgiving you in the first place! I continued to feel horribly trapped in my own complicated emotions. BUT GOD!! Listen whether you’re at #work, in #business, #womeninbusiness, a #businessowner, #fitness expert, #mom, #dad, #teacher or #gym rat, you can free yourself from the hurt and pain of condemnation. What a #revelation when I realized I was the problem! It was me – not you. So, I let me go from how I wronged you. I needed to love me too. Go ahead. Give yourself some #mercy and #grace. Let your own junk go and let the Joy flow.
I’m not you. You are not me. We are different on purpose. The way we live, move and have our being will look different. We are not made from a cookie cutter. How we hear and how we see and how we approach life and we live it will be different. The process of relationship with Him, self and one another. I’m pondering our differences as a human race as I think about how He lives among us too. Setting my mind on things that are above and not on things that are on earth is a process for me personally. Learning to listen. Inclining my ear to hear His thoughts and ideas about Himself, others, myself and life. It’s been a lifelong process of relationship – leaning His way and then stopping to find Him leaning my way. I’m thankful for every moment He has granted me the honor of living, loving, being loved. It’s a journey into Him and into His continual mercy, forgiveness & grace. The journey includes the mistakes not just the successes. I love the way Paul talked about counting it all as loss just to know Him. He knew the journey. We are in union with the One Who does not condemn our wrong turns. Instead He draws us further into His definition of Love. He also doesn’t put so much emphasis on our right turns either because it’s not about the right or wrong when it is about relationship. Righteous is different many times than right. Deep inside my bones, it seems our emphasis is misguided. Love is the focus but what does that look like? I read a lot about Love. Yet, how we experience Love is a different matter. Experiencing the embrace He offers takes courage because His Love is unconditional and has no secret strings attached; it has no hidden agenda. HE already knows. Everything. Nothing is hidden from Him. Listening to Him. Listening to one another. Listening to what is said as well as what is not said. I remember listening to what my sister Mary Ann did not say. It held weight. It held depth. Loving to love. Being Loved. It’s an exchanged life. Just being. Loving. Being loved. Letting Him steer you personally as His hands, His feet and His heart in service in our private world as well as on the earth. Every person offers something different from Him and through Him while representing Him. I’m soooo thankful to Him for how He thinks outside the box to live as Love through us in our time here on the earth. What an interesting life. Sometimes I’m standing at a crossing wondering how to proceed. It’s a journey with Him. Sometimes I’m standing with a friend at their crossing while they wonder how to proceed. It’s not just you and not just me. It’s also with one another. It’s a journey into Him. It’s also a journey into one another. Being Loved by Him and Loving one another. I’m in awe of His miraculous kindness. To let us learn how to be while He leads us into becoming. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with Him. Be patient with others. Loving as well as being Loved is a process. Learning how to love and learning how to be loved is a process. It takes time. That’s ok. Working through the process IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional love for us IS part of the journey. The revelation of His complete unconditional Love for one another through us is also part of the journey. It’s living in Him, with Him, through Him and as Him…what a journey. Love-d
When I woke up this morning I had a most definite feeling of alone-ness. Almost empty really. It was almost overwhelming as I pondered my day…alone was in front of me and to be honest I normally do not mind…the alone part. However, for some reason I sidestepped the invitation into silence.
I stopped to listen and got no inspiration or understanding. Instead, I slipped into memories of my younger years when my responsibilities were deciding what movie I wanted to go see or what outfit I would wear or who I was going to meet or what I would do with the leftover in my check after I paid my car note which at the time was about a hundred dollars. Those were the days!
We have a LACK of Silence
Silence is an interesting word and an interesting condition of the heart. Some would even venture to say that silence is boring and to be honest, I believe that is the worn out norm for many generations. Think of the lack of silence that penetrates our days. Elevators have music to captivate your short attention on the way to your floor. Every doctor and dental office has music to drown out the confidential dialogues happening with patients. Frequently, you’ll find music flooding the department stores and grocery stores that keep you happy and energetic. More often than not it is very difficult to locate a restaurant that will allow you to have thoughtful conversation without some sort of musical ambiance to set the stage. None of this yet mentions our ability to keep our ears on overload with music or teaching through our very smart phones which are loaded up with every variety of sound available to man except perhaps – silence.
What’s my challenge today? GET QUIET! Be unafraid of silence. Turn off the radio, CD player and IPOD in your car for a week. Spend a day without tv. Try something new….enjoy YOU….the unfiltered you….the you without props and find out you are AWESOME without all that jazz……..adding noise to your mind and heart.
Ps 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. (New International Version)
It is God’s desire for us to stand in a firm place, to Behold Him and sing praises to Him, so that others will taste and see and know that HE is the Lord God Almighty, and put their trust in Him. So, if you have been in a pit by choice and you know it, today is the day for you to choose freedom. Hard to imagine anyone desiring to remain in darkness but it happens to the best of us. Cry out to the Lord! Change your mind about desiring to stay in pity, pain, or entrapment and choose this day to desire freedom. If you are willing to agree with God and trust Him in freedom, then He will answer you and pull you OUT of the pity of depression, pain, and grief and give you a firm place to stand. What about you? Have you ever realized how your “horrible circumstance” could have been avoided by taking some very simple steps? What can you do today to cooperate with God regarding what you need to do to walk out of the pity or pain and into a pleasant place? Sometimes it IS our choice to make: pity or pleasant?
Pray with me – Father, show me how to respond to You and to life and to problems. I have to move forward but feel paralyzed by my past. It is ridiculous. Help me in Jesus name. Let it be.
Send this to friends who would be encouraged by Pity or pleasant.
Last week, I shared with you a poem I wrote that goes along with this article. You can read it here – Come Out Come Out!. I lived through a season of deep pain and hurting. I sensed the Holy Spirit’s leading and knew He wanted me to give up my hiding place and spend more time with Him and with others. However, I thought for sure that no one could love me if they saw what I looked like on the inside of my heart, and if they ever saw what I really looked like, they weren’t going to like me. I was so afraid of being rejected – it hurt like a knife into my heart. I struggled with the Lord over His desire for me to come outside of my cave to spend time with Him. I was in turmoil with the Lord over His desire for me to come outside of my cave in order to spend time with others. We struggled. We had numerous conversations. Me talking. Him listening. HE wanted me to move outside of my cave. How we fought over this issue of relating to Him and relating to others. We fought and fought and fought, until I knew that I knew that I knew that I really had no choice. I HAD to move onward into Him, or I would be miserable the rest of my life. I knew it deep within I had to come out of my kaleidoscope of fear.
Genesis 32:24-25 And Jacob was left alone, and a Man wrestled with him until daybreak. And when the Man saw that He did not prevail against Jacob, He touched the hollow of his thigh; and Jacob’s thigh was put out of joint as he wrestled with Him. Then, He said, Let me go, for day is breaking. But Jacob said, I will not let You go unless You declare a blessing upon me.
I Didn’t Know How
Inside my heart, I knew God was well able to give me life and to conquer all my fears. I knew that God Himself was the only One Who could help me and change me and teach me how to live this very precious life. I wanted so desperately to feel alive and to live out this gift of living, but I didn’t know how to do it. So, I cried out to God continuously for Him to change me, to not let me go, to do something radical in me, so that I would be different. And He did.
Even after God met with me and began to pour His love over me, I still had to face my belief system. At this point, I simply believed no one would ever love me or even like me. I was asking God if He loved me. I was asking Him if I chose to be naked like Adam and Even in the Garden, would He love me the way He loved them? Would He turn from me because of my sin? Would I run to cover up if He glanced my way? Would I feel ashamed? It is a cry to my Lord to never leave me and to never forsake me, because I was in deep deep need of Him.
What is Your Name?
Genesis 32:27 The Man asked him, what is your name? And in shock of realization, whispering, he said, Jacob – supplanter, schemer, trickster, and swindler.
I was responding to His question and I was crying out for Help from Him, because my name was Lonely! Fearful! Death-filled! Love-starved! Selfish! and Mourning! I’m afraid to come out from this pain-filled cave, because it is all I know. Change me! Help me! Take me from the Kaleidoscope of fear!
Sometimes I would walk close to the entrance of my cave, but I’d make certain no one noticed. If someone did by chance get a glimpse of me, I would not say anything to them for fear they would ask me to speak with them. Then, I would have to come out of the cave. I wanted and deeply desired to feel the sun on my arms and the wind in my hair and the closeness of friendship. I desired for someone, anyone, to call me out from my cave. I would silently yell inside of my heart, “Can’t you see I’m lonely?! Won’t you come and rescue me? I’m afraid to come out! HELP! Won’t someone PLEASE come set me free from this prison I’m in?!” I was so confused. I wanted out, but refused to leave. Can you understand the frustration I lived in? In time, I actually shifted the blame of my captivity onto another and it became someone else’s choice for me to remain captive and not my own. This way, it was not my fault, and I was free to remain a prisoner. This was very twisted and confused thinking, because it is God’s will to set us free from our prison cells. He came to make the captives free – it is His purpose! I ran for many years, because I was unwilling to pay the price for freedom. Others did come to release me from my cave but I refused their help and steadfastly remained inside my kaleidoscope of fear.
Genesis 32:28 And HE said, “Your name shall be no more Jacob (supplanter), but Israel (Contender with God); for you have contended and have power with God and with men and have prevailed.
Shake Off Death Filled
You know what? God is always calling our names. He is pursuing us ALWAYS, and the day finally came when I was broken enough to hear His voice calling me. Oh, the voice carried promise as He gently said my name. He personalized Genesis 32:28, and He said, “Donna, you can no longer live as Lonely and Afraid and Fearful! You must shake off your name Death-filled and Love-starved! You must turn away from Selfish and Mournful! It is time to start living. You must come with Me now, because I have a life for you to live!”
Can you hear the voice of the Lord calling your name? Can you relate to the need to retreat into a hole to protect yourself from the possibility of being rejected or abandoned or hurt? At the same time, can you relate to the consequence of shutting out love as well?
Pray With Me
Jesus, I bring my feelings to You and ask You to heal my hurting and broken heart. Even if I knew where to start healing myself, I would not know where to begin. You are the Master Healer, and I ask You to send me Your Truth, so I can become a whole woman. I want to be confident and assured of Your love for me and my love for me in Jesus’ name. I have been isolated and alone and much of it has been self-imposed. I no longer want to live according to what I think is right. I want to be in right standing with You, so I can love and be loved. Help Me God, for You are my only Hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If you read this far you might be interested in a fiction story…kind of like a soap opera really – I released the 3rd part in the Other Side of the Road and am preparing to release FROM the Other Side of the Road – you can follow me there too if you like – its just for fun!! http://donnareinersblogs.wordpress.com/
Send this to friends who need to #BEBRAVER and come out of their own Kaleidoscope of Fear.