Face to Face with ME!

The way I viewed me – unbeknownst to me – kept me from me! It also kept me from those around me…I was always arms length from anyone knowing the real me for fear that they would not like me. WHY? Because I truly did not have the reality of HIS LOVE living in me. I did not like me and did not think anyone else could like me either.

20131011-NDIP10604
Loving myself after all these years!

THROW IN THE MIX THIS AMAZING GOD WHO sees you and me as His beautiful, hand-chosen, perfectly-molded children, and who loves us with a never-ending, ever-lasting love.

Psalm 143:8 Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning for on You do I lean and in You do I trust. Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk for I lift up my inner self to You.

Can you hear the Psalmist cry out to God, asking Him to rescue him with His loving kindness? Why? Because he knew the Love of God was the only reason he was still alive…….years of being threatened and chased down by a man who wanted him destroyed…years of being taken on the verge of retaliation himself…he KNEW he could not live without LOVE. IT was GOD’S LOVE THAT prevented him from killing the very man who wanted him dead. It is the love of God that changes us, convicts us, and molds us into His image. It was the LOVE of God that brought him face to face with himself. It is the love of God that brings us face to face with the reality of the cross and the blood God shed for us. 

Though I felt like a very ugly duckling for the majority of my life, through a process of receiving this incredible LOVE from God…I have been changed. 

Do you know what the greatest help has been in my walk in life as a Christian??? It has been receiving and accepting God as my father………my FATHER….and not only as my LORD. YES…HE is my Lord….HE is GOD ALMIGHTY….but in the garden…God was their Parent..Father…and if God was THEIR Dad and this was way before Jesus hit the planet…how much more is HE MY DAD? Oh…it was not easy…seeing this….chewing on it…accepting it….knowing God as God is much more holy to my mind…but…HE sent His Son Jesus why?? To give us RELATIONSHIP WITH HIMSELF. WOW. Its not just God. Its Father.

So, as I saw HIM as my kinfolk…my family – and I mean that in the most respectful way…then…when HE received me as His own and allowed me to be me…and He received my confession of wrong when I was wrong and forgave me and loved me…..then I finally caught it….and then….as HE was my Father…then I saw it…HE wants to be my EVERYTHING – Maker, Husband, Daddy, Brother, Best Friend, Companion, Closest Confidant – there is NO CONDEMNATION IN CHRIST… and if there is no condemnation in Christ…how can I allow condemnation to continue to live in me? ANOTHER WAH!LAH!!! I got it. HE LOVES ME. PERIOD. I CAN LOVE ME TOO.

In this process I learned to accept me. As I learned to accept me, I also learned to like me. As I learned to like me, I also learned how to love me and then, I began the process of learning how to see myself through His eyes. Then, in time, I actually began to see His beauty and now when I look in the mirror, I believe I am beautiful. It is never too late to begin the process of knowing God in an intimate and relational way. I can truly say it is the only pathway for real and lasting healing for a heart that has been wounded and scarred. God’s faithfulness even reaches into our very last moments on earth right before we take our last breath….to remind us of His nearness and HIS love and our need to move into HIS shadow as HE takes us into the liberty of living the rest of eternity with Him…THAT’S LOVE. THAT’S OUR GOD.

God really loves you…and HE really loves me. Get to know God…get to know yourself. When you give LOVE a chance………then you will give YOU a chance and as you give YOU a chance – you will find yourself giving your neighbors, co-workers and others a chance too. Will you be hurt? YOU BETCHA! YES indeed……it will happen BUT……when you learn to turn TO HIM for strength THROUGH the hurt…..through the betrayal…..through the pain…..through the devastation…in time….you will look more to HIM than to your circumstances to determined that you are okay……..and you’re gonna make it………and as you go face to face with yourself you will indeed discover that you are not just a survivor but in HIM you are not just a thriver but a LOVER…no matter what life throws your way.

Please like and share a comment to encourage me or someone else!

Until soon…

d

Ugly is the NEW Fabulous

Ugly is Fabulous!I’m FABULOUS now…but my ugly lasted way into my thirties. How about you?

Our family was on vacation in Tennessee when I was around six or seven years old. Bored, I went riding on a bicycle in the neighborhood looking for something to do. I happened to come across a group of boys that were riding their bicycles down a street. Now, in this part of Tennessee, the streets were pretty hilly and this one had a steep dip and curve at the end of it. The boys were bragging about how it was a really hard ride and how there was no way that a girl could do it. Since my pride never allowed me to back down from a challenge, I looked at those boys and looked down the hill and with confidence said, “No problem.” Frankly, I was scared to death but there was no way these “boys” were ever going to know it. So, I took off down the hill. Had I known then what I know now, of course I would have just ignored their little challenge and gone about my business but I was young and good sense was not in my mind at that moment. Let me explain. As soon as I began to roll down the hill, the bicycle picked up speed so fast that I had to lift my feet to keep them from getting sliced from the pedals because at that time all bicycle had those little sharp pointed pedals. It was as if my life (all six or seven years of it) was passing before my eyes. I wondered quickly how I would ever stop the bicycle and then before I knew it, I was near the end of the deep rolling hill.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I felt the front of the wheel of my bike lift up in the air and me with it. I flew out of the bike and later folks told me my body soared as tall as the nearest pine tree before I fell face forward into the gravel like substance that lay in the middle of the road. Apparently, the bike had hit the gravel and caused it to flip and lose what little stability it might have had. In addition, later, doctors said I was fortunate that I did not break every bone in my body because of the force of the fall. Some thirty-five years later, I still have the memory etched as scars where the gravel found my legs and arms. What resulted from this pride filled fall was two weeks of ice baths and broken front teeth that had to be capped with UGLY hideous silver and porcelain. I was then what myself and others considered a very ugly duckling. I had to keep those ugly caps until I was a freshman in high school and there was not a day that went by that someone did not make fun of me in some way regarding my looks. Needless to say that I grew up feeling very inferior, very insecure, very unwanted, very unaccepted and most definitely very very UGLY! Little did I know that Ugly is the new fabulous.

Words to inspire you – 1 John 4:7 – Psalm 143:8 – Romans 8:28 – Philippians 1:6 – Romans 8:38-39

FAST FORWARD………I turned 51 just last year and I gotta say I feel like the ugly duckling was beautiful throughout my entire journey……..I just did not know it. Could this be the secret per chance? Knowing who you are determines HOW you see yourself and how you see you determines what others see too.

Is your identity in your looks?  Do yourself a GREAT FAVOR!!! Go look yourself in the mirror and say with me, “UGLY IS IN THE PAST!  I AM FABULOUS!!! Say it until you believe it and when you do-those around you will too!! It’s NEVER TOO LATE to see how FABULOUS God ALREADY MADE YOU! It’s all about perspective!ayer

Jesus, when I look in the mirror, I sometimes only see pain and heart break and ugly. No one around me really knows how miserable I am at times on the inside of me! Well, I want to experience and understand how You see me so that I can feel and think like the beautiful, hand chosen hand crafted person You love with a never-ending, ever-lasting love. I want to see me as You see me! I desire to look in the mirror and truly smile on the inside and not just on the outside. Help me God for I need to receive and comprehend this unconditional love You have for me. I give myself over to You and ask You to make Your love real. Free me from myself and bring me into Your great and perfect love. Let Your kingdom come and Your will be done as You have already determined in heaven. In Jesus name.

Jesus, I am willing to get to know You and I want You to get to know me. I’m afraid to have anyone really really know me deep within my heart. But, I recognize You are God and I cannot go on hiding from You.

God, help me say goodbye to the ugly and hello to what and who I really am –  fabulous.