Feeling Deep

Feeling deep thoughts for the deep thinkers in grief or pain.

The pain was so deep I could not touch it yet so close I could not get around it.
Pieces of pain like glass splintered under the feet. Not sure how to move without cutting themselves.
The Pain of the feeling the deep kind.
The pain that calls, pulls and consumes. The pain of finality.
The pain of no more.
The pain of standing on the rock in strength…while you wait for joy.
My compassion meter is strong but my rescue meter competes.
It’s difficult to watch a loved one writhe in emotional pain. I want to take them in my arms until it subsides.
I want to break through the boundaries they put in place to protect themselves. I want to help them move forward.
Removing the memory connection will alleviate the instability that fearfully haunts and paralyzes them.
Removing the raw real trauma frequencies that came into their body will help restore health, wellness of mind and stability of heart.

It doesn’t change what happened to them but it does give them clarity to make new decisions from peace not pieces.
Don’t give up – you are close to the new you. You’re standing. You’re climbing.
You’re stronger than you know. You’re one of a kind. You’re safe to feel. Safe to heal. Safe to grow.
You have permission to feel your deep pain. You have permission to live again.
If you’re not safe to feel alone, get with someone who can let you express your heart.
One day you’ll see your strength. Receive truth and life. Love in the pain.
Life through the tears. Union in the brokenness. New start with a fresh breath.

In the mean time, you get to say goodbye to those old patterns, old ways of thinking, old ways of living, old ways of rejecting the ones near you or rejecting yourself. You get to face your past and move past it – it is most definitely time.

One day you’ll feel joy. One day you’ll see intention and one day it will make sense.
One day the strong strength of the rock will be infused into the memories.
One day you’ll feel the sun again through the deep thinking. Feeling deep.

I love you- d

No longer that me

August has come and is almost gone and saying goodbye to the old me til I’m no longer that me is still in progress. Less than half the year remains to live. I sense change. But then change is every day isn’t it? I sense a stepping forward. But then every day is that day too.

Some need the motivation of a gentle tog, strong urge, raised voice or hit on the head to step onward. I want to be unafraid of obeying The One Who wants me prepared. I want to be free from sabotage. But how?

I encourage you today to take one step today to make room for something new. An exercise, cleaning a drawer, giving away clothes, revamping the garage or attic are all action steps help you say goodbye to an old you.

If I’m not going to use it maybe it’s time to lose it. My mini project today is to go through a box of old journals all the way to 1993. I began to write out my life as a new follower of Christ and honestly I’m no longer the person in those pages. Time to say goodbye. Maybe this step will free me from more of me – but even if it’s just giving me an empty container – it will be worth it. What’s this got to do with sabotage? My junk is always in my way. I ignore it and then Im entangled with it when deep inside I DO know what to do. I just don’t do it. My mind gets jumbled with so much and I’m overwhelmed with it … because I won’t do that one thing. After a while a thousand one things sabotage my next step and I’m enslaved…trapped..by me and my refusal to just do that one thing.

Interestingly that August is the 8th month and eight means means a cutting away. Many think it means a new day. But really… It is the cutting a way that brings the newness.

I’ve been contemplating for a month or so on what comes out of my mouth. I believe I need to prune my words. My mouth is my greatest place of sabotage. It will have to be a conscious effort to create a new culture. Everywhere we turn, people complain. We complain about what we eat, who said what, how we are treated, what the news says, how we look, how someone else behaves, what we wear, the weather, the president, the preacher, this country, that company. It’s easy to get wrapped up and sucked into your own or your neighbors opinion/words.

We fill ourselves with negativity while using excuses like venting, praying, or processing. Yet what is it really? We lack self control while exercising our freedom to be free.

I’m not sure my own opinion warrants words anymore. I seem to sabotage my own life as soon as I have a new one. My mouth.

What about you? Do you have a negative perspective about yourself that dominates you?

How about joining me in an all out fast from complaining? From complaining to celebrating. This is the intention. Let me know if you want to grow?? If so, gossip and complaining about you and others has to go.

Fast from complaining about you and those with you. Think of create ways to correct yourself and those with you. I’ve started and I’m having to literally start by shutting up because when I realize how it was gonna come out of my mouth???????…. I realized I’m a big problem. I can’t stop those around me from their negative talk about them or me. But it’s like God nudged me and showered me with Love and showed me a new path. I can see how if I will lead the way- over time I’ll get it. If I will respond with kindness when someone criticizes me then it will diffuse what could turn ugly if I got offended by them.

I’m not sure I even know how to be a complain free person. But I’m starting today to clean up my mouth while on the way to clean out a container. Maybe there will be a correlation? Unsure. I just know my mouth is powerful and it can be used for building up or tearing down. I caught myself tearing down late last night through emotions that should have been reigned in.

Sabotage is not my friend. Venting is not my friend. Making a point is not my friend. Having the last word? Not my friend.

Celebration is my friend. It must be intentional or it won’t happen.

Jesus had the last word. Well He had a couple- Forgive them and It is finished. So, I’m forgiven and the ones with me are forgiven. I’m gonna lean into being forgiven and forgiving and lean into what’s been finished so I can finish..

Until soon and much love… I’m going to have a cup of coffee and celebrate a new beginning. Then, Im going to drink some water. Then?? I’m headed out to get ONE container to empty…that hopefully will lead to some more. Granted my house is going to want food so as soon as I’m in a groove I’ll need to stop for a fueling. This is not sabotage. This is love. For me. For them.

Slowly I’m learning to see me as Christ sees me. The clincher is to see others as Christ sees them – that’s the mark of change. I have failed in this arena. But today is still my new day as I learn to say goodbye to an old me and I learn to embrace a new me…on my way to celebrate the me who has yet to be on my way to the container filled with what is no longer me…

d

Fly!

Super Saturday- Friends. Don’t remain where you are so comfortably that you forget you were made
to fly. 

You were made for more. 

 

Dance Again

Motivated Monday

Dance Again. Dancing instead of mourning. Truth is that we can mourn too long. Mourning is for a season not forever. You get to choose my friend. You are not betraying when you decide to pick up your mat and go forward. It’s not wrong to return to a position of rejoicing. Listen, don’t get trapped in the sticky false comfort that comes with prolonged grieving. It’s interesting that in the Old Testament- they set a boundary on grieving for loved ones. What? Yes. God knew that mourning too long was hard on the body and soul. HE knew it would take you off track and stop you from fulfilling your purpose. Have Coursge. #BEBRAVER LIVE AGAIN.  If you have been positioned in depression for a really long time, you may find it difficult to stand to your feet.?regardless, it starts with sitting up. You might be tempted to lay back down because you have lived in this false comfort for a really long time. Please – drag yourself out of bed!! I set you free!! Free to get up on your feet. Free to work again! Free to open your mail again! Free to go out with a friend again. Free to dance! Sing. Love! Laugh! LIVE AGAIN!!